Prof. Dukey's Patented PC Ideas (What else can be invented?)

Member Name: The Duke

Product:	What else can be invented?
Date:	17/09/01 (69 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good ideas

Disadvantages: Some are unworkable

Ah, the wonders of computers – aren’t they great? What was that? Who said “No”? Shame on you! Computers are great, especially PCs, cos you can do loads of different stuff on them – make music, surf the Internet, chat to other people download loads of por… erm I mean programs from the Web.

But, are computers as good as they can be, or could they get better? Do I, Professor Dukey, have any ideas that I would like to see incorporated into the future of PCs?

Well, ‘course I do. I wouldn’t be writing he otherwise now, would I? Some of this opinion is me looking forward to the future and trying to guess what’s going to happen, but part of this is also me putting out a few ideas of mine. Some of these ideas are very workable, and some are just plain daft, but you can have a laugh at them later, so enjoy!

Invention Number One (well, this one’s not an invention, but more of a “wish”)

The stable Operating System. You’re using a PC, yes? You’re not a computer techno nerd, yes? Chances are you’re using one of Uncle Bill’s Windows operating systems. Well, wouldn’t it be nice if Uncle Bill were able to deliver a faster operating system which didn’t crash on you at least once a day? Oh yes, that would be great. Oh, I know that it isn’t likely to happen, but we always hope, can’t we? I suppose that while we’re at it, we could always ask for the operating system to a nice slim line version which doesn’t have too many bells and whistles to slow it down.

Invention Number Two (as above, more of a wish than an invention)

Perfect voice recognition. This typing malarkey sucks. My brain works far faster than my fingers and this means that half of the time I spend writing opinions in Word is spent fixing bloody typing errors. Just think of how much time you could save by having an intelligent speech recognit
ion program. Gone would be spelling errors as your speech recognition program has all words stored in its dictionary. Grammar could be improved as the speech recognition program takes your tone of voice into consideration when transferring your spoken words into text. Hurrah!

Invention Number Three. (a streamlining of ideas in operation)

Standardised Expansion Ports. Ever gone into a shop to buy a mouse or keyboard or some such thing, only to be asked what sort of connection you have? I know I have, and not when buying for myself either. My invention would be the end of all the different types of ports on the back of your PC, and they would be replaced by the USB ports (Universal Serial Bus), which lots of new PCs already have. They’re smaller, easier to use, and by having only one type of expansion port, confusion is reduced. Yay!

Invention Number Four. (all my own work)

Upgrades for non-nerds. Ok, so it will put smart-arse PC technicians out of business, but I have an idea that should mean everyone could upgrade their PC with no hassles whatsoever. My idea is that all PC components (i.e. graphics cards, internal modems, soundcards etc.) are provided within standard sized boxes, and you insert them into your PC in much the same manner you would insert a video cassette into your video recorder. All the complicated attaching is done inside the PC by an internal mechanism, and to upgrade you simply switch off your PC, eject your old component and insert your new one.

If this isn’t possible, I would like to see some method of combining all those internal components with using 25,000 miles worth of wiring and cabling inside the PC which makes it very frustrating to work on.

Invention Number Five. (evolution of technology)

Smaller monitors. This is probably going to come true anyway – there are two types of monitors CRT (“normal TV type” monitors) and LCD monitors (those sexy one
s you see on the telly. Hang on; did I refer to a piece of computer equipment as “sexy”? Oh dear. The shame.) Well, I can see the size (not screen size, but overall size) of monitors getting smaller, but screen sizes getting bigger until we’re in the same sort of ball park as those plasma screen tellys. LCD monitors are getting cheaper all the time – they’re now around £400 for an entry-level 15” model, but hopefully they’ll soon drop so that 19” and above are cheap enough for all.

Invention Number Six. (something for the wish list)

Easy and automatic networks. A nice radio wave network that will sort everything out for you would be very handy. Say you bring a second PC into your house and you want to connect it to your other PC, well these days that means mucking about with cables and Windows and generally giving yourself a headache. A radio (i.e. wireless) network means you can put your second PC anywhere in the house, and it should still communicate with your original PC. Swapping files, sharing Internet connections etc. will be totally easy to do.

Invention Number Seven (and my final point)

All-In-One Home entertainment Centres. That’s what I see the PC becoming. Not only a tool for surfing the Internet and emailing (and writing your dooyoo opinions, of course!) but also replacing your video, stereo with a connection to your telly. The AIOHEC will be able to record programmes (a la Tivo), play DVDs, as well as your music CDs/DVDs. Of course, with my super voice recognition that I mentioned above, it’s dead easy to use “Computer, record Banzai! at 11pm, I’m off down the pub!” and there you go. None of this not being able to use your video ever again, and puts that Video plus to shame.

There you are, seven useful, and perhaps even practical inventions/uses for the futuristic PC. You’ll notice I’ve stayed away from things like faste
r processors, larger hard-drives and more memory than you can shake a stick at because these things are inevitable. Admittedly, some of these ideas are completely unworkable – the “upgrades for non-nerds” springs to mind, but it’s only a wish list, and who knows, sonmeone cleverer than myself could actually get something like these to work.

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