Custom Made Christmas Porno-Cards ! (Homemade Gift Ideas)

Member Name: KathrynMackinnon

Product:	Homemade Gift Ideas
Date:	05/12/00 (4089 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Haaa! Haaa! Haaa! Dirty

Disadvantages: Might offend Dirty

I like to make my friends laugh and have a reputation for having a filthy mind. So last year i took it upon myself to be as rude as possible and made some hysterically funny, custom-made christmas cards. Special person that i am!

INGREDIENTS:-2 x porno cards (£2.99 per pack)
1 pack stick-on stars (99p)
1 pack coloured card (£1.99)
1 pritt-stick (99p)
TOTAL:- £9.95 (makes 108 cards- you get jokers too!)

RECIPE:- 1.Trot down to local sex shop and try to enter cooly. Wander around for a while with jaw hanging open.
2.Stare at huge rubber fist and try to think of anything but what its destiny is. Go red.
3.Eventually go up to counter where huge man with ladies haircut and Jerry Springer nails asks if he can help.
4.Ask for porno cards, one set of each sex, insist on telling bloke (?) what you intend to use them for.
5.Blush.
6.Leave very fast and go home.
7.Nice cup of calming tea. Aaaah!
8.Remove porno cards from packaging and laugh. Feel like a dirty old shrivelled-up lady
9.Calm down
10.O.K.
11.Select rudest/funniest cards and decide to whom they are most suited.
12.Select the most complimentary sheet of backing card for each porno card and cut a nice shape (rectangles will do - hearts are nice and christmas trees are naff!).
13.Attach porno card with pritt-stick.
14.Select most graphic areas of card and censor with a stick on star
! This gives the recipient the option of whether or not they wish to be exposed to the filth.
15.Write a nice wee note on the back in neat and pretty writing (gold or silver pen looks cool)
16.Ta-daaa! Feeeneesh'd! I is readdy for yoo!

You will either repulse people or totally make their day (always worth the risk i think!)

A porno card is not just for Christmas, you can delight people with them all year round!

note: I did not send one to my Aunty Lillian. She wouldn't have appreciated this side of my humour. Think about what you're doing before you give these 'censoring-worthy' cards out. Thou canst not turn back the exhausted and withered arm of time!

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