“ What do you put in yours? „
Criteria for perfect Christmas Stockings.
With special hints for my long suffering husband.
1. Christmas stockings have to be real socks, (long walking socks preferably!) They have to look knobbly and overbalance when you try to lean them up against something.
2. They have to have a pleasingly crinkly sound when you feel them. They have absolutely got to be knobbly and knubbly!
3. They mustn't be holey socks. Holey stockings don't work and confuse Santa when the nuts fall out the bottom!
3. They have to have at least two items precariously sticking out of the top.
4. They must contain at least one puzzle that I can have collecting dust on my bedside table until I solve it.
5. They must have an apple, a tangerine and some proper nuts at the bottom. The nuts are important to appease the Christmas squirrels in your garden. (Bananas are not an option!)
6. There must be shiny new coins or chocolate coins or both! (Not the ones you didn't eat last year!)
7. A Terry's chocolate orange must not be overlooked even though the square box is the very devil to get into the stocking. (So Santa tells me!)
8. Anything particularly sensible that tries to go into the stocking will be confiscated by the Stocking Elves. (a new potato peeler will get Santa's Little Helper a thick ear!)
9. Small bottles of perfume (real) get bonus points!
10. A bottle of bubble blowing liquid is vital.
11. Small bars of chocolate, (mistletoe kisses or Thorntons Santa heads) are permissible.
12. They have to opened whilst sitting up in bed so you can surround yourself with all the goodies you find in them.
13. A crossword book must be inserted about halfway down the Stocking.
14. At least two silly pens and erasers must be included. Preferably the pens with little feathery bits on the top.
15. You may not include two packets of coffee in order to bulk them out because you have forgotten to get the right stuff. That is a fairly dangerous practice. (If you happen to be my husband)
16. A packet of dried apricots is just about okay but not two years in a row. (How many dried apricots does a person need anyway?)
17. You will not get away with saving the toys from last year's crackers and putting them in! (Anyway, I have already pinched them for yours!)
18. No! 54 is not too old for me to be wanting a Christmas Stocking!! What's age got to do with it?
19. Little objects of complete silliness win the day in the Stocking Filling stakes! I can be sensible the rest of the year. (Sometimes)
20. I will forgive any deviations from this list if presented with a mug of hot tea within minutes of seeing my stocking.
Hi, Christmas is already ruined and I haven't even gone shopping yet. I have found that when I hate somebody but I am still obligated to give them a gift I buy them socks and a nice pen. everybody can always use more socks and everybody appreciates a good pen. And both things fit nicely in a stocking. My mom ruined Christmas this year. Because of her we can not decorate and celebrate the way we want. It is all her fault. This is what happened. My mom watches those infomercials at night about the starving kids in Rhodesia or wherever and she fell for the bit about saving a kids life for the price of a daily cop of coffee and bagel and she sent away to help some kid in Rwanda. They sent back some stuff about him and what his deal was and he would write a letter now and then So my parents were going to go to Branson for their anniversary and we were all standing around outside while my mom was going on and on about what we had to do to feed the cat and dog. She somehow doesn't think that a huge corporation trusts me with a 20 million dollar train and I can't manage a mangy tabby cat for four days. so we are standing outside arguing and this rusty old minivan pulls up right into our lawn and some big fat guy gets out. He slides open the door while my dad is asking what the hell he means driving on our grass and he yanks this little black kid out and this kid has a cardboard box tied together with baling twine and the box goes and spills all over, like clothes and old comic books and stuff. The kid is all scared. My om is like, "What the hell is this". And the fat guy is like, "This is the kid you signed up for" And we were like, "what are you talking about?" and the guy pulls out this copy of my moms first application form to sponser a kid in the third world and says, "Right here, you agreed to take care of this kid and here he is" We were like freaking out on this, my
mom is calling this guy the f word and my dad is going to punch him but the guy pulls out some mace and points it at him and he says, "You didn't promise me, you promised Jesus that you would care for this kid", at this point we can see the van is full of black kids hopping around trying to see what is happening. The guy says, "we had to pull out of Rwanda and we just couldn't leave this little &$@*#s on their own" My mom is flipping out and the guy just keeps saying, "You signed a contract" Then he jumped in his van and drove off leaving this kid there who was trying to pick up his stuff out of the gutter. So we took him in the house and my mom called her lawyer and all that while we gave him some Pepsi and tried to figure out if he could speak any language that we knew. He didn't. I told my parents to go catch their flight and I would deal with the mess and the decided to stay and deal with the mess. We started calling him Joseph because we couldn't figure out how to say his name if that was what he was trying to tell us. We took him to Pizza Hut and the ungrateful little punk would not eat anything except vegtables off the salad bar even though my dad sprang for a meat lovers pizza. I guess he thought he was too good to eat with us. It turns out the kid was mean. I guess that happens when you spend you whole life trying to survive but this kid was awful. He was a picky eater even though we only offered him the best of everything. He wouldn't eat with us and would then take all the rice and potatoes in the house and hide them around the blanket he slept on as he refused to sleep in a bed. So then he goes and ruined Christmas. Apparantly he did not like organized christianity as they pushed on him and the school or home or whatever my mom was paying $26 per month for. I guess in order to get food you had to pray first and this made him mad and he wanted nothing to do with Chri
stianity. He would do all this strange stuff with little wooden animals he would make and we realized he was a heathen. We decided we would not have a heathen doing voodoo under our roof and we would have to get this kid a religion. There is a falsha family in town and we went to them and asked if they could make this kid Jewish like them and they agreed. We are trying to respect his new faith for now until we can get rid of this kid. He tries to kill animals and he refuses to co-operate about dressing nicely. We think he like six or seven but we do not know. My mom had this nice little Hummelesque Nativity scene that we got at Oberamergau and he did not like the way it was set up. He would hide all the goats and sheep and then find extra Cattle. Any time we would go anywhere he would steal other peoples cattle or steal them from stores, junky plastic ones and old ceramic ones and then cluster them all around the Christ Child. I guess he though the holy child rated more cattle than most people seeking a quaint and balanced nativity scene do. Before we noticed the little SOB had put 119 cattle along the mantle along with the wisemen. So now we had to get all new Christmas decorations. Now it is all this neutral "Happy Holidays and Season greetings" nonsense and my sister had did up all these Christmas cards and now we had to get ones that were neutral since this Joseph guy has Chanukah instead of Christmas. He totally tore up our Christmas tree and ate the popcorn we had stringed on it. It has ruined the holiday season. We had real family traditions, stuff we have done our whole life and now it is all about accomondating Joseph and his Jewish faith or this other animist stuff he practices. It just isn't right. It isn't like when I married a Russian girl and we had weird food and Christmas on January 6th. All that jazz was sort of interesting but this is just a total inconvenience and I blame my mom for it. Oh yeah, and the little
twerp was scared of Santa last year. My mom looked it up on the internet and like in his area the bogeyman is like fat and all in red and he just goes nuts and screams and tried to hide when he would see a Santa. So he is getting socks, especially since he hates wearing socks. I am going to buy the real itchy kind, unless I can find some with Santa on them. I will get him a pen too since the people at the foundation who stuck us with this little punk had mentioned that it was likely that nobody in his village even owned a pencil or had a need to, now the twerp is going to have a nice Rusty Wallace Nascar pen.
I had great fun filling a stocking for my son. He's 23 so I searched the shops for a good selection. The object of the exercise was not to spend too much but still the stocking. A selection of different types of condoms from Superdrug and a pair of (totally useless!) pouch undies were the first items I bought. Four cans of Bud and some Jazz aftershave ( I like it, anyway) more or less filled the rest of the space. I filled all the little gaps with those little gold foil coins with chocolate inside ( I know he will appreciate the money). Sticking out of the top is a box of chocolate 'Boobs' that I bought from a joke shop. This looks great and it didn't cost much either. It should be great fun watching him empty the contents out. It will bring amusement to other members of the family too.
I have just bought a very cool stocking from my catalogue, it is silver and very shiny, escellent for young girls. I think personally that a stocking should have a bit of everything in it. It should have some fruit and chocolates in it, and some of those excellent things you get from superdrug and boots quite cheaply, which are little lipsticks, nail varnishes, miniture shampoos and body washes, the list is endless and they are no more than £2 each, also in the stocking should be a miniture note book and pen, young people tend to like that type of thing, and perhaps some underwear.
If you are looking for stocking fillers that are a little bit more than throw away items you could try the gift department in your local Debenhams, they have some really great games and books and they don't cost much at all, just a few pounds...Many are reduced at the moment as well. More for adults than kids. Debenhams also stocks the "Who wants to be a Millionaire" board game which seems to be extrememly popular this year, price £25.
Stockings are by far the most fun presents of Christmas Day and be as cheap or expensive to fill as you like. Here are a few suggestions if you're having problems trying to figure out what to put in them... "My Computer Hates Me" by Caleb March is another 'Little Book Of' in disguise. Do you know someone who can make a computer crash just by staring at one? Or someone who still hasn't figured out what the mouse is for? This is perfect for them. And at a penny less than £3, it's a great stocking filler. You can get it from book stores like Ottakers. "Winnie-the-Pooh's Little Book of Wisdom" is described as "Wise Words from a Bear of Very Little Brain". Useful advice, no? It's light hearted and designed for the Winnie-the-Pooh fan or even anyone who knows who Pooh Bear is. The book is priced at £1.99. Also available from Ottakers. Miss Sporty is this year's greatest budget range of make-up launched. With lip glosses and eye shadows priced at only £1.29, you can afford to select a few for the younger teenage girl who likes to experiment. From places like Boots or Superdrug. The Gadget Shop sell presents for everyone, and some can be made into Stocking Fillers. An example is the I-Dog, a cute little creation that moves and barks thanks to a remote. It costs £4.99 but doesn't have batteries, which brings me on to my next point... Batteries! You can bet someone will buy the recipient of the stocking some wonderfully great thing that needs them and doesn't come with them. Rather than watch someone's face fall, include batteries. Also, if they go through their stocking first and find batteries, they'll know one of their main presents will need them. Which builds up the anticipation. "Oh Deer" is a plastic reindeer available from BHS for the lowly sum of £2. It comes with some brown coloured Jelly Beans that are dispensed from some par
t of the reindeer... You get the idea. You can fit CDs into stockings too. These can range from the new Bob the Builder release to the All Saints one, depending on the age of the person getting the stocking. Don't forget all the usual chocolates and etc. They may sound boring, but rest assured the ones getting stockings are expecting them! The inclusion of oranges however would be happily forgotten about as far as a lot of children are concerned...
One way of explaining how Santa knows what kids want and why he can't provide that £500 present is to say that Santa fills the stockings, but the big presents come from mum and dad. This always worked for us as kids, and made the whole thing believable for longer. As for what to put in them, well surely this is the most fun type of present buying, unless you are rolling in money and can blow the budget on all presents! 0-2: For tiny ones, lots of white chocolate (less messy), dried fruit, tapes of music, finger puppets, toy cars, small board books, crayons, socks (perhaps the type with rattles attached for very small babies), a baby-safe mirror, and small soft toys, such as palm tellytubbies. 3-5: At this age there is less worry about children swallowing small objects, so finding small things is easier. Crayons, stickers, mini tubs of playdough, ink pad and stamps, small puzzles and jigsaws, small balls, books, torches, tapes, fun bath products like crayon soaps, small flannels that grow when put in water, hair accessories, and lots of sweets and goodies. Try exotic fruit like star fruit as something extra special. 5-11: At this age very few toys aren't safe. Most kids this age appreciate traditional stocking fillers, such as palm reading fish, jumping beans, mini packs of cards, fake blood, puzzles and tricks. An excellent source of this sort of cheap present is Hawkins Bazaar (http://www.hawkin.co.uk) which has a special section in the middle of the catalogue full of stocking fillers, mostly under a pound. For example bouncy balls, plastic gliders, chickens that lay plastic eggs, tiny note books and that goo in pots that is so popular with kids at the moment. An example of how ridiculously cheap their products are is 12 fortune telling fish for 60p! They also do a ready made mixed stocking with loads of there products mixed up for you, which is even more economical. They do have a few stores around the county, s
o check the website and see if you're near enough any of them to pop in for last minute gifts. Remember this for next year, you really will be impressed with their range. 11+: The trickiest thing at this age is the boy/girl divide, as you may find it hard to find things that are suitable for both. Stationery, toiletries and sweets are though still likely to be suitable with both! Lush (http://www.lush.co.uk) sell loads of really great toiletries that are organic and made from obscure products, that are bound to appeal, make sure you buy yourself something as well! Their bath bombs are particularly great. They have a store in Covent Garden, and may have more, I'm not sure. Magazines can be rolled up and slipped in a stocking, Sugar and Bliss for younger teenager girls, a quality woman's magazine such as Company or Marie Claire for those who consider themselves too old for teenage mags! Most older teenage boys would appreciate an adult football magazine such as 442, if you feel Loaded's a bit too explicit for Christmas morning. Single CDs are the write size and price range, but it might be hard to discover what they have and haven't got. Headphones, torches, mobile phone covers and other electrical accessories will probably be appreciated. Most trendy high street clothes shops such as Top Shop and New Look do a range of cheap fake fashionable jewellery. Large gold gypsy style hoop earrings are one of the things for this winter, but any of the stuff in these trendy shops is bound to be fashionable. And finally, for all ages, the one present which no stocking in England should be without…. an umbrella!
Stocking fillers are great fun to search for. You can buy lots of little soft toys that you can pick up for next to nothing in your local toyshop. For my husband what I buy to go in to his stocking is very mundane things. Nevertheless, they are always of use and do not get stuck in the bottom of the draw never to come out again. To do this I think that you have to know the person well and they have to know that this what you are going to do. 1) Hair comb -he is all ways losing his 2) Sweets -Sweets for me sweets (where is the sick bag) 3) Tooth brush -so you can brush after all the sweets he eaten from above 4) Can of body spray -So you don't stink 5) Stick of shaving soap -So he can baby smooth 6) Shaving Brush -to be used with the above 7) Socks and pants -always needed as they wear out 8) Re-chargeable batteries -for all his toys The list is endless have fun and if you wrap them all up seperate it looks like loads
Dear Dooyooites, As a recipient of father christmas for many years 13 to be precise , I have a fair idea of what your kids will want/ expect to find in their stockings, Many small joke books, Chocolate mice, and of course Gold coins, a tangerine and of course something like a PC Game, Do not try to buy anything without having a sure idea that they have mentioned it - A football shirt or a Rugby shirt, for girls get a makeup kit, nale polish, whatever they're into, But do not buy tat which will be thanked for, embarrasedly received then hidden away until they are eventually chucked out, always have one main present CD Player, Tape player etc. Something electronic like a palm top or even better a Mobile Phone, which I can Guyarantee Most of their friends will be receiving this year, Francis Fookes Winchester College
I love christmas and love making stockings for my children. This year the new shop Poundland opened in our town, I love it, obviously it is not just for christmas as they stock just about everthing, and thats right everythings just a pound. I have been in there alot recently filling up my basket with little nik naks for my stockings, in my opinion you cannot go wrong for just a pound. They have everything including toys, cards, household goods etc. I even went in there yesterday for a freind who is having a birthday party for her son and got all she needed (plates cups etc. for just a fiver. Poundland are also on the internet so if you havent got one near you then I recomend their website, they really are great for those stocking fillers and much more, and beleive me they are not all cheap and tacky goods, some are very good quality names. Give it a go I bet you'll be suprised......
I mentioned these in another review, but I feel that they are such an ideal stocking filler that they deserved a mention entirely of their own (so apologies if you've already read my 'One who has everything contribution and feel cheated). Many publishers have jumped on the bandwagon, but the format is relatively consistent - a book of about two inches across, priced at around two to three pounds, with quotes or thoughts on each page. At this size, they fit perfectly into a stocking. I think the 'Little Book of..' phenomenon started with Paul Wilson's 'Little Book of Calm', which has been a huge bestseller. This book is either a very comforting and helpful aid to beating stress, or the biggest load of empty-headed New Age twaddle perpetrated on a gullible public in twenty years, depending on your perspective. I tend towards the latter, if only because it makes me feel better about myself to know that reading it doesn't make me feel better about myself, if you see what I mean. The companion volumes to this are the Little Books of 'Chaos' by Craig Brown and 'Bollocks' by Alistair Beaton. Both are well-written diatribes, brilliantly satirising all the touchy feely garbage which has made Wilson a millionaire. Buy someone both the Calm and Chaos books, and all their moods will be matched. Also finely matched are Lillian Too's Little Book of Feng Shui, one of several Little Books by Too about the furniture shifting phenomenon ('Feng Shui at work' is another), and Rohan Candappa's 'Little Book of Wrong Shui', which perfectly spikes the nonsense of 'Feng Shui' (sample observation "A door should never be bigger than the space it has to fill" is actually from Wrong Shui, but wouldn't look out of place in Too's daft books). Also on my level is Alec Bromcie's 'Little Book of Farting', which is full of handy tips on farting eti
quette, observations on the biological origin of flatulence, and some very funny ephemisms for farting (my favourite is 'barking spider'). It's a cut-down version of Bromcie's 'Ultimate Book of Farting', which no home should be without. Where do I stop? 'Abuse' features a brace of fine insults and putdowns collected by a stand-up comic over a career of dealing with hecklers who didn't like her act, whereas 'The Little Book of Crap', is also funny (the author of that has two promising titles for 2001, the Little Books of Crap Excuses and Crap Advice). Just go to Amazon or Alphabetstreet and type in the words 'Little Book of' and you'll find tiny books for all ages and senses of humour (Shakespeare quotes, Winnie The Pooh, it's endless). as you might have guessed, I have a heap of these in my house (outside the toilet door, in case anyone fancies a quick read). They're cheap and a bit throwaway, but anyone finding an appropriate one in their stocking is certain to get a few chuckles out of it.
My nephew, at the time of April Fools, loved Pokemon. He had all the cards, videos, watched all the cartoons, collected the toys, basicly, a pokemon freak! So, his brother sent him a letter. It said he had won a trip to Japan for 2 weeks! He was going to meet the creator of Pokemon and all the producers! As you would expect, my nephew got over excited. Then another letter came. It said it was all a joke. You should've seen my nephew's face! He was so excited then suddenly he found he had been set up! This year for Christmas, he said he would fill the worst stocking ever! He told me the secrets and what he would put inside: First of all, it wouldn't be one of tose pretty Santa stockings, but he cut up his mum's old tights! Inside he put: At the bottom, real life maggots they fed to the fish, bits of mushed up jelly and fake spiders and flys. Next would come a layer of sticky, melted chocolate and wet teabags and as his brother is totally scared of tarantulas, he put an exact replica of a tarantula right in the middle, horrible hair he had found came next, then a few pieces of coal and finally three measly little sweets at the top! I tols my nephew that doing that would be really nasty, but he just wouldn't listen! I might've told his brother but I couldn't spoil the fun, could I? Write comments on whether you think I should tell his brother or is this just revenge?
Throughout the year my family are always saying ...I've run out of this and that and it never gets replaced. So I keep a small notebook to write all of them down. They aren't aware that I am doing this so they are pleased when they get the items replaced. My son is always saying I've finished the Prittstick, bluetack, post it's, or his favorite thing has broken or run out, he forgets to get them when shopping. It works a treat and he's always surprised that I knew he needed them. There are many things that are mentioned even when shopping or visiting people. Cinema tickets, wallet, smellies, cooclates, magazines or books. Keep a note of which things they keep asking for throughout the year or is forgotten at birthdays and they will be very surprised you knew. Half the time they won't even remember they mentioned it. Happy Christmas
Nothing Fills a Socking like a few Satsumas. However It is also a waste of money! Do you really think anyone is going to eat them?!?!? Of course they aren't, its Xmas. Chocolate is plentiful and marzipan is not at all sparse. Who wants fruit? As for children, can you imagine how disapointing it is to wake up as a child on Xmas morning, rushing to the stocking to find it 80% filled with mangey fruit that can be found in the fruit bowl in the kitchen whenever they want. Do your poor kids a favour and buy them a couple of packs of Pokemon cards instead. I gurantee they'll be happier!
I have always loved getting my christmas stocking and loved to see it full where as I had left it empty the night before. there is just something special about the christmas stocking. It is most definatly something that shouldn't be missed on Christmas, whether it be an old sock or a fancy big thing from the shops!! I always had an orange put in mine for some strange reason because i never actually ate it!! Oh yes and who could forget the money that appeared at the end of it!! I don't think that anyone is too old to get a stocking. I have moved over to England now and am spending Christmas with my fiance and his family. Which I am really looking forward to. The whole family exchanges presents in the afternoon when all the family is there. Although me and my fiance have decided to make eachother a stocking for the morning. We'll buy loads a little things to put in them. Little things but useful things. Anyway I hope this has encourged you to keep up the stocking custom.