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The front cover is packed with 7 eccentric looking psychopaths, the title is in sprayed blood and theres a guy pointing a gun in your direction. Its an 11 year olds dream game. Loaded, a rated 15+ game, developed by Gremlin Interactive in 1996, is one of the goriest games outside of the Resident Evil franchise, to go platinum on the Playstation. Whilst the premise seems innocent enough, the actual circumstances are far from it. The back says that when 6 of the most twisted characters imaginable are 'wrongly imprisoned', its time for revenge. Considering the types of people they are, imprisonment can never be wrong. Regardless, you alone or with a friend, can take up arms and destroy every living thing in your path, whilst you attempt to escape the giant maze like prison. Expect other lunatics, explosions, fiendish creatures and a hell of a lot of blood on the floor. To start, you're welcomed by the beginnings of 'R.S.V.P' - a song from British alternative rock band Pop Will Eat Itself's album 'Dos Dedos Mis Amigos'. You choose from either 1 or 2 player games, options for lives, continues, difficulty and standard graphical and audio effects. There is also the 'Load Game' option to continue where you left off (which takes up just one memory block).
Butch - Dubbed 'THE' most dangerous cross dresser in the galaxy. He dons a purple dress and sports a deadly flamethrower to douse his enemies with, adequately named 'The Flaming Queen'. His special power is the Explosive Ring, casting a circle of flames to wave out across the screen. Fast with Medium armour.
Vox - A lady amongst beasts, in a tight tank top with a sharp tongue. Known as 'The Siren' because of her devastatingly good looks and brutal attitude. She uses a machine gun called the 'Hail Fail' and uses a sonic boom to damage multiple enemies via a microphone and visor. Fast with Light armour.
Fwank - s a psychotic criminal who wears a bank loot bag over his head with clown make up on it (similar to the Jokers appearance). He has the mental age of 'a lobotomised 6 year old' and cares only for his teddy bear. His emotions are described by the colour of his balloon. He fires neutron spheres and sends out homing teddies to tear apart enemies. Slow with Good armour.
Cap 'N' Hands - is a cyborg who's only original 'fitting' is his head, rotten to the core. He wears his skeleton on the outside and decorates his bones to make him look more menacing. He uses flintlocks to gun down his opponents and has a vortex bomb, spreading darkness across the screen, dismembering all caught within it. Moderate speed and Average armour.
Mamma! - Goes by his tag because its the only word he can stipulate. Abandoned at birth, lacking in education and manners, Mamma! still wears a diaper and baby cap despite growing a beard and being an intimidating, hulking figure. He uses a plasma gun and ripple bomb to dispatch evil. Slow with Good armour.
Bounca - A thick bald, 'thicko' whose favourite pass time is 'Slappin' some innocent geezer about a bit'. Experienced travelling the world but ignorant as he takes nothing in. Fires missiles and Frag missiles to detonate with a huge blast radius. Moderate speed and Medium armour.
Gameplay & Controls
Its a fairly basic shooter, set from a birds eye view, in a high security prison, with the objective to find all the card keys to escape to the next zone, defeat the man responsible for their false imprisonment and cause utter carnage along the way. There isn't really a story or any dialogue to follow, so its pretty dumbed down and focused on gameplay among all else (although the manual has a couple of pages worth of 'plot' to satisfy any curiosity you may have). The controls can be changed to suit your playing style but default settings are simple enough, X as shoot, Circle as special move , Square to sprint, Triangle for the map and the R & L bumpers to alter the camera distance. The display shows you your health, lives and ammunition for both gun and specials. Throughout levels there are 8 power ups to keep it fresh - weapon powerup, ammunition, health, smart bombs, extra lives, slow motion, invincibility and invisibility. The stronger your weapon via powerups, the bigger the area of effect and the faster the ammo depletion. As you scour through every cell to find such goodies, you come across hundreds of inmates - thieves, murderers, rapists, lunatics in straight jackets - even prison guards and staff combining efforts to stop you. A few shots from your weapon dispatches them - all over the floor - and they can drop gold which bares no significance other than points accumulation. Battles can get chaotic, on either mode as with a second player, the number of enemies is practically doubled, as is their strength. It requires a lot of circling around the fairly large maps to find the coloured security cards to open more doors and exits. The levels increasingly difficult along the way as enemies become stronger, faster and vast in number, making powerups beacons of hope.
Music & Sound Effects
There are 2 songs from Pop Will Eat Itself (R.S.V.P & Kick To Kill) and 27 other instrumental level tracks that can be played on your cd player should you want to hear them again. Only 9 tracks go over 3 minutes long and the rest are around a minute, so that gives you some idea of their repetitiveness, although they aren't exactly annoying or harsh sounding, in fact some are good at creating atmosphere (try track 06), whether its dark and brooding or all out party righteousness, most of which is either synthesized guitars and bass, drum loops, piano or spaced out keys and notes. The sound effects however are just as gruesome as you'd imagine. There must be over 10 different noises which a bullet ridden, charred corpse can make when hitting the ground. Squelchy, crispy or marred with the undistinguishable persons death howl.
The best thing about Loaded though, is not the over the top violence but the sheer blase' attitude. Take for example the difficulty descriptions - "Players are boring - Members of choirs and people who still go shopping with their mums.', 'Players are brutal - You're a hard bastard and your friends and family regularly tell you so.' and 'Players are loaded - Tyson, Naseem, Van Damme, Manson and Rollins - pussies.' Not just this though, the end of level summaries are a laugh to look back on too with results for greed factor, accuracy, body count and of course career prospects. Expect all kinds of insults and adjectives to describe your performances - grasping, tightfisted, assassin, hitman, slaughter, mass murder, killer, butcher, social worker and genocidal maniac. Its this lack of seriousness and plain sprint and shoot gameplay that makes it slightly addictive, easy to grasp and menacing fun.
loaded is the top magasine with top women in it. there are top photographers in it and also some very sexy storioes in it e.g. the little slumber party at my house had just gotten started, and i was totally enjoying the soft round tits of my friend's hot teenage cousin, natasha. i had invited kirsten over for the evening to watch a movie, and somehow things had just gotten wild! there was a hot lesbian movie on my tv and the bed was suddenly full of three naked girls giving eachother tongue massages! my kind of party! i was busy sharing intense kisses with natasha, totally forgetting about kirsten. we were rolling around on the bed and we came to a stop with natasha on top of me with her heavy tits dangling in my face. suddenly i felt a hard push into my wet puussy, it felt SO GOOD! kirsten had found my toybox, and tried on a hot rubber strap-on! this was total bliss, making out with this hot little teen natasha, swallowing up her massive tits, and getting fucked at the same time by kirsten, a sexy irish redhead. she was grabbing natasha's ample ass as she thrusted into me, mmm.....! i was sucking natasha's nipples when i heard her moan, "i want some!" and she rolled off of me and laid down flat on the bed. kirsten was glad to oblige, and switched over to fucking natasha! it was so hot, i just laid back on my pillows and started fingering myself watching them go at it.... i slid my fingers in and out of my pussy and rubbed my clit as i watched kirsten bend down and give natasha'a huge tits a sloppy kiss. i was squeezing my nipples and i could totally feel myself cummmming..... what a slumber party! i love making new friends!
"You are trying to fight your way out of a huge and dangerous jail on the planet RAUKF. You need to blast your way past inmates and the notorious head warden named, F.U.B (Fat Ugly Boy). Lots of shooting and lots of blood."