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Theme Hospital (PS)

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38 Reviews

Manufacturer: Electronic Arts / Simulation / Rating: E - (Everyone) / Published by: EA - Electronic Arts

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      12.02.2012 12:52
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      A chance to run your own hospital from the comfort of your sofa

      Available for : Playstation one and Playstation 3 from the Playstation network
      Price band: Below £5
      Genre: Simulation
      Published by: Electronic Arts

      Theme Hospital is a game that leaves you in control of running a hospital. Running a hospital into the ground if my experiences are anything to go by. Essentially you start from scratch with an empty hospital and empty plots of land you need to buy in order to expand your wealth. Running a hospital is no easy task and quite often you can find yourself going backwards rather than forwards, floundering in debt in order to expand your diagnosis and treatment facilities by taking out loans from the banker. Of course you could argue that it would be a better idea not to take the loan but with a reception room full of unhappy patients you are left with little choice.

      Throw into the mix earthquakes and rats and you have yourself the potential for disaster. Earthquakes will destroy your machinery and your reputation so you need to employ decent handymen to keep on top of them. As for the rats, well the last thing the health inspector wants to see when he visits your hospital is a furry critter running around. My solution is to place a plant pot in front of the rats holes and hope the problem goes away.

      There are a variety of conditions which need to be treated in your hospital and as the levels progress you will find that more and more problems crop up with new research needed to unlock treatment facilities. A few of my personal favourites include, Bloaty head syndrome, The king syndrome (elvis impersonators) and Hairytitis cured by a good sharp electrical shock. The irritating thing is that once you start a new level, all of the diagnosis and treatment rooms you previously unlocked will have disappeared and you will have to research them all over again.

      Your progress throughout the game is mapped by a league table in which you compete against other hospitals in the area. Do well and you will be rewarded, perform badly and you may see the game over screen coming your way. A progress bar at the top of the screen indicates how well you are doing throughout the year with a traffic light red, amber, green system. If you are in the green you are close to finishing the level, in the red and you have to make serious changes.

      As is the goal in most hospital establishments, or so you would hope, the idea is to cure your patients not kill them. This requires that you find the right balance between diagnosis and treatment as a misdiagnosis can lead to death just as easily as no diagnosis at all.

      As for staff, those available to buy are doctors, nurses, handymen and receptionists. Throughout the level the receptionist will pipe in with unhelpful gibbering which more than once has caused me to turn the volume down so I can have five minutes of peace. Doctors too seem to have no sense of purpose and wander aimlessly around corridors when the receptionist calls out they are needed elsewhere. Place them in a room with a line full of waiting patients and there is still a chance they will wander out again, causing your patients to walk out in anger. Yet still, they will demand a pay rise for doing no work.

      Another problem is that doctors need to have certain qualifications in order to do certain tasks such as surgeons and psychiatrists. Waiting for one to be available to buy can be an absolute nightmare as the generation of staff to buy is completely random.

      Despite all of this, theme hospital is a retro game that will keep you going for a long time and is fun, though frustrating to play. At about 2.99 off the playstation network, this is your chance to purchase a game that otherwise would be lost.

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        19.02.2010 13:38
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        An oft-overlooked classic

        Hands up everyone who has ever dreamed of managing their own hospital. I imagine not many of us, which may be why Theme Hospital was never as popular as its predecessor, Theme Park. Which is a shame, because I think Theme Hospital is the better of the two games. As with Theme Park, the concept is simple. Each stage sees you managing a brand new hospital. To progress to the next stage you must fulfil a series of requirements, such as cure a certain number of patients and make a certain amount of money.

        What sets the game apart from Theme Park is its humour. The illnesses your patients arrive with are just plain hilarious, as are the methods devised to treat them. Patient has a swollen head? Simply pop it and then inflate it to a normal size. Patient has a long, flaccid tongue? Simply put it through a mangle and then chop most of it off. As with real hospitals, if you don't treat your patients sufficiently quickly then they will die and this is perhaps the biggest weakness of the game. Despite their comic illnesses, you never really feel enamoured to your patients, so if one of them does die it's simply a case of shrug it off and move on to the next person.

        The way you run the hospital will be instantly familiar to anyone who has played Theme Park. You first have to build machines to research illnesses and cure patients. Over time these machines will degrade and so you need to hire mechanics to constantly tune them up. Next, no hospital would be complete without doctors and nurses, so you need to hire a few. The amount you have to pay them depends on their level of competence and motivation. Don't pay your staff well enough and you'll have a strike on your hands. You can also put little aesthetic touches to your hospital, such as potted plants (although remember to hire someone to water them), and vending machines which serve to add an extra source of income for your hospital. From time to time officials from the Ministry of Health will visit your hospital so be sure you have plenty of janitors to clear up any mess, water all the plants and kill any rats, otherwise you risk being fined. Another nice touch to the game are the random acts of God such as earthquakes and epidemics which add an extra layer of difficulty to later levels.

        Speaking of difficulty, the early levels are incredibly easy and serve basically as makeshift tutorials. Once you get past these, however, the difficulty ramps up considerably, especially the last level where you are presented with a massive hospital full of patients suffering from every disease imaginable, frequent acts of God and a very dissatisfied workforce.

        Graphically the game hasn't dated much, thanks to its cartoony images which are designed towards humour rather than realism. The game does suffer now and again from slow-down, particularly once your hospital starts admitting large numbers of patients, but this slow down is manageable and quite infrequent.

        Overall, a fun though sometimes frustrating game. If you get the chance to play it, I suggest you do so as you will enjoy it, especially if you liked Theme Park.

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          27.05.2009 14:50
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          always a pleasure to play

          This is a fantastic game for all you strategists out there. It features you the player acting as god over a hospital and the running of a hospital.

          You must use your power of strategic analysis to create a hospital from scratch. You must run the hospital effectively and efficiently to make money.

          There are all kinds of different items and equipment that you can buy to improve your hospital. You can build different rooms where operations take place and other rooms such as staff rooms where your staff can relax.

          You can purchase drinks machines, hire staff etc. It is quite difficult at first to get into the swing of things and to make enough money for your hospital to stay open. But once you have the basics under your hat you will find that this is a very fun game.

          The further you progress through the game the more items and the more equipment you will be able to purchase.

          The game gets increasingly more difficult and before jumping right into the game you can do the tutorial mode to learn the game first.

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          09.02.2009 15:44

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          good game

          I purchased this game for a bargain price quite a few years ago, as I had previously played it on PC version, and got totally addicted to it. I recently played both PC and PS1 versions and found quite a few differences when playing, not in the actual game however, but the controls you have to use.

          The game requires you to build your own hospital. You then have to cure enough patients and make enough money to proceed to the next level. You have to do all this without killing too many of your patients - otherwise you may end up in the hall of shame!

          I found the PS1 version of this game extremely hard to use compared to the PC version. It was a lot slower, and it took me a lot longer to get used to the controls and the overall pace of the game was extremely slow also on PS.

          If you do want to play this game, I would definately recommend the PC version over the PS version anyday, as using a mouse to control things rather than a Playstation controller is a lot easier. The only problem is however, it is very hard to find any PS1 games nowadays!

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          17.11.2008 20:22
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          Great game i love making the hospital

          Are you ever inspired by going somewhere to try and build you own model and make it better? Do you like building things and adding to them? Making and watching progress? Being incharge? Making discissions?

          Well with theme hospital you can do all of this.

          You start with a small hospital and you have to build the relevant rooms and add all the things inside them to it aswel. You also have to hire the staff and deal with pay rises. This is all in dollars $ tho.

          You can look at an overview of the building and see all the patients and what they are doing and also where they are going, you also have to make decisions on ones who need something you can't give or don't have at the time.

          Once you hit all your targets, you can move on to the next hospital and keep moving up, and then get emergencies to deal with. Also you get an award every yea in the game and get reputation, which is also a target and cash again a target.

          I love this game and am getting far.

          I think its good for 8 years +

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            16.11.2008 23:02
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            Build you own hospital and hit targets to get to the next one.

            Well I'v just decided to get the PS2 out and play this game again, as I loved it so much. So I'm going to write about it as I play it.

            With theme hospital, you get given a starter, and you have to put in a reception, GP's room, wards, pharmacies, staff rooms and everything else to make a hospital including all the facilities, such as toilets.

            In the rooms you also have to place everything reeuired and also anything else you want to put in there.

            You then have to also hire staff, being: doctors, nurses, receptionists and maintanance staff.

            You have to hit targets to get to your next hospital, but every theme year you get an evaluation, where you can get a bit of money and reputation, but again loose it if your hospital isn't up to scratch.

            You then can move up the ladder and buy more space in more hospitals with bigger targets and bigger money.

            The patients come up with some new problems which your researchers in the bigger hospitals can find out what they are and how to cure them.

            You have a message borad, where inspectors can ask to visit and also problems and patients that need deciding on. Also quite exciting is the emergencies that you can choose to accept and as you play it more you will be able to determine if you can handle it or not and get the reward for it.

            I love this game as it's very constructive and uses imagination for you deisgn.

            I would let this game go to 8 years + and I think adults who like building things will play this game aswel.

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            06.08.2006 11:38
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            Fun to play and worth a few hours on the playstation.

            Basically, you have to build your own hsopital with rooms, such GP clinic or x-ray. You have certain goals to achieve on each level, for example you may need to make money, cure a certain number of people or make your hospital worth more.

            You also have to employ your staff from doctors to nurses and from cleaners to receptionists. They will often threaten to resign if you do not give them a pay rise. Some doctors are specialists in certain areas like surgery, only those with a surgeons qualification can work in the operating theatre. You are able to train members of your staff, but this can be a long task, especially while running a busy hospital.

            You can take loans out with the bank manager to buy new equipment but this should be repaid. Some of the condiditons that patients come to you with are Bloaty head or slack tongue.

            I usually build numerous GP rooms because then you get the patients through to treatment quicker. You are also able to make extra money in two ways. One way is to take on emergency cases, usually about 8-10 people will arrive my helicopter and you must cure them all in a certain length of time, if you don't cure them all, the ones left will and die and you will recieve no money. You can also accept invitations for celebrities to visit your hospital. If they like it, they may give you money and reputation points but if they don't like it, they will deduct reputation points.

            Your hospital will no doubt become overrun with mice and people been sick, this always happens. Place plants where there are mouse holes and employ lots of handy men, who will sweep up the mess.

            I really love this game and would say that it is better than theme park world, which works on a similar level. You get to be in complete charge and lead your hospital to the very top.

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              02.06.2005 12:39
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              When games didn’t need people killing other people, well unless you want to kill your patients then feel free to let them hit the ground and watch their angels fly up to heaven.

              Theme Hospital follows a very simple concept build a hospital, run it well, cure as many patients as possible, and make a profit (well it is an American style of hospital). The game has steady levels which progress each one giving you something new to contend with and increasing nicely in difficulty. This method of slowly increasing difficulty makes sure that the game always represents a challenge and that’s probably why its been such an addictive game for me.

              ~ Graphics ~
              It is a Playstation game and an old one at that, but it has got around that wonderfully by only having cartoon graphics nothing looks realistic and this allows for the game to look fun but good at the same time. The graphics will not be winning any rewards but they are by far great enough not to ruin your game playing experience at all.

              ~ Playability ~
              I have played this game for months, hours on end and has highly entertained me from start to finish, the type of game I play if i want to be involved in a game but not have to be on my top reactions all the time.

              ~ Price ~
              You should be able to pick this game up, used probably, for only £5 and for that I call it a must have game.

              ~ Staff ~
              In the game you will need to make sure that all operations are manned by appropriate staff. You can either hire good staff on higher wages of poorer staff on lower wages and train them up. You need a good mixture of doctors, nurses, receptionists, and caretakers. The Doctors are used to do operations and diagnostic procedures, but some operations require a nurse like the ward or pharmacy. Receptionists are just required to look after the sign in desks. Caretakers are required to fix machines, water plants, and clean up sick and rubbish left in the corridors, you need to select how much of each job he does in earthquake areas its good to have two working purely on just fixing the machines or they are likely to blow up and leave an unusable plot of land in your way. At the same time cleaning the floors is crucial to patient satisfication which is need to be high to complete most levels, watering plants are needed for doctors motivation, a higher motivated staff members will work a lot quicker.

              Doctors need certain skills to do certain jobs, a surgeon needs to be trained in surgery (shown by a knife in their skill bar). Skills can be taught but you need a teacher with that skill already got, a keen employee and a training room and a spare 30 minutes. Personnel I just hire in the required staff with high levels of skills.

              All staff need to rest (except receptionists for some reason) For this you build a staff room and you can fill it with as many luxuries as you want, the general rule is the more you build the happier your staff will be and will recover quicker. You can set how tired your staff have to be before going for a rest the longer they work the longer they rest though and they do get annoyed if they have to work too long. My advice is pack your staff room with fun stuff and shove up the default level by about 5-10%


              ~ Patients ~
              Not going into many details about customer care as new customers present the new challenges on a lot of levels and I want you to find the game a challenge like I did but general rules would be keep your hospital clean and don’t take any risks on curing a patient as every year you finish without killing someone you get a LARGE cash injection.

              ~ Research ~
              Research needs to be done to be able to build certain machines, and to cure certain aliments. My advice is a research center with two doctors trained in research in it and in the options menu push up machine research to about 70% as this is the most important.

              ~ PC verus Playstation ~
              This game is also on the PC at about the same price and I have to say if you have both facilities available to you then get the PC as it is more difficult as it has epidemics, as well as an Easy, Normal or Difficult level if you install the patch that is on the CD as well.

              ~ Overall ~
              If you only have a console it is a must have game, cheap and so addictive.
              If you have liked the sound of this game and the challenge it represents then go for it.

              ~ If you liked this game ~
              Then try:
              Theme Park
              Sim City
              Roller Coaster Tycoon

              Thank you for stopping by:
              David
              (davidjamesclark@hotmail.com)

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                02.04.2003 08:43
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                Just like the theme park games this is great too. Its been out for a few years not but is still an excellent game. It was released for a few consoles such as the playstation and also the PC. The idea of the game is to get a certain number of patients into your hospital, and treat them with in a few years. Once this is done you move into a bigger hospital each time. Each round you need to buy equipment to treat the patients. Such as x-ray machines, physiotherapy machines and even some weird things like alien curer. As your patients may turn into things like aliens and all sorts of other things. This can be caused by not getting treated very well or the outburst of a disease. Well i cant remember but am sure aliens was one illness hehe. You need to hire different workers too. You will need doctors, nurses, handy men, receptionasts etc. With out them the hospital would just fall to bits. If you dont treat someone they die. If you kill a lot of people its game over. Sometimes your machines can blow up and kill your patients. So always make sure they are up and working. Make sure you have a nice tidy and organized hospital. As if you dont no one will want to be trated here. Make sure you have plenty seating, decorations, drinks and also a receptionast. As with out her no one will know where to go and will just leave. The graphics are great, the tunes are excellent with loads of sound effects and the game play is excellent as you just want to play it over and over again.

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                  26.03.2003 16:45
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                  Imagine you're a doctor (or don't imagine if you are already) and think about owning a band of semi-loyal colleges, and parade of short-skirted nurses, and being able to cure cancer at the blink of an eye. STOP RIGHT THERE! Theme Hospital is a hospital management sim and it ain't like this. At under £10, this game can keep you amused for hours and hours and hours, if you like that sort of thing. The idea of the game is basically build your hospital. Choose the GP's room in order to diagnose your patients; choose the psychiatrists room in order to study your patients, rip them off and laugh before you tell them that they're completely crazy and need to see another psychiatrist - preferably another one inside the hospital. Diagnosis rooms are frequently used to diagnose even the simplest form of Heaped Piles, and vary from the GP room to Cardio room (where fat people jog on a treadmill and pay $200 for the privilege) or the x-ray scanner. Never has recognising a common cold been so profitable! After diagnosing your patients, you can attempt to cure them. Use the pharmacy where the nurse supplies a coloured, viscous liquid to be ingested. People suffering the 'invisibility complex' magically turn visible again, and give you another $700. Others suffering from minor ailments also visit the pharmacy. Magic, if you ask me. Then there are those that require the more hefty machinery. Take those who have kidney stones - take two surgeons with golf handicaps, mix well with one operating theatre while adding a ward with a nurse to recover - yup, that's $2500 thank you very much hope you come again soon! Those who suffer from the Hairyitis disease have immense legions of hair emanating from every crevice and orifice (!), and require a quick dose of ONE MILLION VOLTS (!) in order to cure them. Wait, it's gone wrong? They fried? Oh well. Those who require de-radioactifing (like the Incredible Hulk) require to b
                  e encased in liquid jelly for up to 24 hours in a cold dark room. Lovely. Not only are the diagnosis and treatment rooms important, but also the amenities - the toilets in all their glory as well as the staff room. While patients relieve them selves with subsequent flushing sounds, usually next room the main doctor who is currently needed for an emergency is probably sitting down on a sofa, playing space invaders or trying his hand at pool. It's a hard life trying to order these imbeciles around, but hey - that's the fun of it! Each room has its own quirks - windows improve the staff happiness rating; radiators keep both staff and patients warm on those cold winter nights. Plants purify the air, making the staff less tired and each room has its own idiosyncratic item - the x-ray room has an x-ray machine; the Pharmacy has the 'wondrous chemicals' cabinet. Make of it what you will, or you could just make all the rooms face the outside walls, meaning that no one can get in and no one can get out! On numerous occasions I have mentioned staff. You staff the hospital - you select which are the best doctors and nurses; the cheap ones or the really cheap ones? Handymen are all important as they clean up the puke that ill patients produce as well as watering you plants and fixing the radiators. The receptionist keeps tabs on all those coming in and going out, but you only ever need one of those. Each of these staff has a salary - and it needs to be paid. This is where your wondrous machines as well as your extortionate prices come into the forefront. Charge $600 for each GP consultation and make the patients go around twenty other diagnosis rooms before even going near a treatment ward in order to gather every last penny of their hard earned cash. Even the receptionist calls out 'Credit Cards at the ready!' every now and again. But what happens if the staff are down, or are planning a revolt? Do you inc
                  rease their salary, improve their working conditions are give them a bonus? And are you able to pay for the heating bill this month, as well as the loans? Theme Hospital requires you to respect every aspect and delve into the workings of a hospital. Any less than this and you're doomed! Every so often, a VIP will visit your fine establishment (!) and may even give you a cash sum for all your hard work. Maybe an emergency is called, and the helicopter flies in with 8 patients all with the same disease that you can't cure yet! Any deaths are recorded, and you can fail the level with too many deaths. Make sure your diagnosis is correct! Get your research to make the drug more than 21% effective! It?s all a race against time, and you're not the one with the stop clock! As well as the odd earthquake, you have to deal all sort of diseases, including the King complex (walks around, looking like Elvis) or baldness. Each disease needs to be recognised with its causes (like eating frozen pizza) and its symptoms, and then your researches to find some equipment than will hopefully cure it. Or if not, send the patient to the autopsy machine so they can find out more. Overall, this game is quick and easy to pick up, and more fun than any 'theme' or management game. GET IT NOW! Advantages: It's cheap It's fun It's funny There are lots of things to do, good or bad You get to see the Grim Reaper take those who you haven't cured Disadvantages: The ill people are making a mess on the new hospital marble floor! qrf1 NB apologies for those of my opinions that have question marks in random places - dooyoo doesn't like copy/paste from word, especially with apostophies and dashes!!!!

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                    26.03.2003 05:59
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                    For 7 weeks I have spent - some might say wasted - many hours glued to my computer playing this game. I first heard about it by reading an opinion and a few days later saw it in my local branch of Dixons. It was priced at £9.99 but there was an offer on of 3 games for the price of 2. As I bought 3 games for £19.98 the cost for each one worked out at just short of £6.67. Was it worth the money – we’ll find out!! I counted 13 levels to Theme Hospital, which gets more difficult as it progresses. On each level you start off with a blueprint and some money $40,000 in the first round graduating to $70,000 in the final round. With each level you have goalposts to reach that you can check on by clicking on the progress report icon at the bottom of your screen. In the first round you have to have a reputation level of 300, a bank balance of $1000, treat 40% of the visitors, cure 10 people and increase your hospital value to $55,000 to be able to advance to the next level. These goalposts increase, as you get further into the game. There are 3 build icons at the bottom of the screen. The first enables you to buy and build a selection of rooms, the second allows you to buy corridor furniture and the third allows you to alter or delete your rooms. The rooms that you can buy and build initially on the first level are GPs Offices, General Diagnosis, Pharmacies, Psychiatrists, Wards, Operating Theatres, Research rooms, Inflation and Fracture Clinics, Toilets and Staff Rooms. More different types of clinics are available as the game advances. You can equip the rooms at further cost with furniture, radiators, plants and fire extinguishers. You need GPs offices and General diagnosis first to be able to have your patients diagnosed and forwarded to treatment rooms and you should build a ward close to your operating theatre for pre ops. A staff room is also important to rest your employers and keep them happy. If you delay too long your s
                    taff will demand pay rises, walk out on you or go loopy through overwork. You can buy as much corridor furniture as you can fit in to help keep the patients happy, seats, plants, radiators, reception desks and drinks machines that have Kit Kat blazoned across them – maybe chocolate drinks. I found that the patients didn’t start to come in until I’d bought a reception desk but you need to build some rooms first and staff them or the patients will either get fed up and go home or die on you. You have to hire staff to work in the hospital and doctors, nurses, receptionists and cleaners are available through clicking on another icon at the bottom of the screen. Before you hire them you can check out their skill levels and varying rates of pay and learn something of their characters. No point in hiring staff that are bone idle and useless at the job unless you are desperate. You can see what your staff are up to and control them to a certain extent by clicking on the Staff Management icon. You can assess their happiness and tiredness levels, move them, zoom in on them, give them pay rises and bonuses or fire them if you want. With all of this spending going on you have to be careful not to overspend. You can borrow money from the bank but if you go too far into the red you can lose the game or are unable to buy anything else or hire staff that you may need to help you earn money or stop patients from dying. It’s quite easy learning how to balance the books in the first round but it gets harder as you go along. Patients pay for diagnosis and treatment; they even pay the extortionate sum of $20 for a Kit Kat drink. If you can get the money rolling in the game gets easier. Cleaners work in every room and in the corridors. Apart from cleaning they maintain and repair machinery and water the plants. You can alter their priority levels for each separate job. Nurses can only work in the pharmacy, ward and the fracture
                    clinic. Doctors work in the GPs office, General Diagnosis and most of the clinics. Only doctors with research skills can work in the Research room, which needs to be built fairly quickly to enable you to research new equipment and ailments. You need 2 doctors with surgical skills to work in the operating theatre and only a trained psychiatrist can treat psychiatric patients. There is a training room for you to build where juniors can become doctors or doctors can be trained to specialise in other areas but only higher paid Consultants can do the training. Trouble is the doctors with the skills that you need aren’t always available and you have to decide whether to keep the patients waiting or send them home, risking your reputation. I found that by experimenting with building rooms in different places I could improve my selection of available doctors. Even if the correctly trained doctors are available they won't always stay put when you move them to treat patients when there is a queue or an emergency, that can become very frustrating unless there is another suitably trained doctor available to hire quickly. When a patient has visited a GPs office, they are either automatically sent on their way for treatment or you see a question mark above their head and get a prompt. You might be told that the patient has Bloaty Head and there is varying degrees of a chance of a cure. You are given choices of try to cure, wait until you build more diagnosis rooms or send home. If for instance the chance of a cure is 90% you try to cure, but if the chance is 10% you select one of the other 2 alternatives. Even if there is a high chance of a cure it isn’t guaranteed and the more patients who die on you the more your reputation will suffer and lesson your chances of winning the game. You can click on patients and see their case histories. Sometimes you can send them to be cured before a visit to the GPs office, useful to keep the
                    queues down. Sometimes a cure isn’t available – the ailment or equipment might not have been researched yet, or if the patient needs operating on and you haven’t got 2 surgeons you can’t cure the patient. You can choose to send them home, or once your research room is up and running and staffed by a doctor with research skills you can sometimes send them there. Once the ailment and equipment has been researched you are given a message by a little guy at the bottom of the screen and can build the correct treatment room. The first 2 clinics are Fracture and Inflation. You see the patients with bandages on various parts of their body. A nurse closes them in a machine where only their heads are showing, the bandages miraculously come off and drop into a bucket and the nurse releases the patient. If they are cured a cheer goes up, if not they walk out of the room and keel over – sometimes into a fiery hole with a devilish looking bloke in a black cloak waiting for them. Sometimes an angel is waiting. Bloaty head is cured in the Inflation Clinic. I thought this ailment sexist. Only men get bloaty head, but both sexes get most of the other ailments. You see blokes with enormous heads put underneath something that looks like one of those drips on stands. Their heads are burst leaving only jagged skin above their shoulders and then their heads are blown up again to a normal size. Once your research room has had a few Slack Tongue patients you can buy and build a Slack Tongue clinic. The poor beggars have enormously swollen red tongues that look really odd waggling up and down as they consult the doctors. Their tongues are put into something that looks like a big ironing press - whoosh their extra length of tongue is chopped off. Once you have met the criteria of each round you are sent a letter inviting you to run another, bigger and better hospital with more pay. After the first round you can buy increasing
                    amounts of land to build more rooms, land that you will need as more patients visit you and lots of extra weird and wonderful ailments are added and different clinics are needed. I won’t go into all of the illnesses but will mention a few that amused me. BALDNESS Just men again and the cause is telling lies and making up stories to be popular. For that you build a Hair Restorer clinic and your patients sit under what looks like an hairdryer. A few seconds and a lot of dollars later if the treatment is a success they emerge with a full head of hair. JELLYITIS I thought that there was something wrong with my computer when the patients with this problem first appeared half way through the game. All of the other patients have solid bodies but these have wavy vague outlines that look as if your patients are going to disappear on you. This affliction is caused by a gelatine rich diet and too much exercise. The symptoms are falling down a lot and excessive wobbliness, the cure a machine that looks like a helter skelter. They climb up to the top and dive in head first, feet kicking. They reappear as a skeleton standing at the bottom and their body and clothes gradually appear from the bottom up. RUPTURED NOODLES The cause is bungee jumping in cold weather and the symptom is an inability to sit down. Those patients are sent to the operating theatre for treatment. HAIRYITIS Patients completely covered with hair that makes them look like mini yetis. They are treated in an Electrolysis clinic by being placed in a machine that send what looks like electrical volts through them while their extra hair falls off to reveal their clothes. Some of the other ailments are sleeping illness, broken wind, sweaty palms, chronic nosehair, heaped piles, spare ribs, TV personalities, discrete itching, radiation contamination, corrugated ankles and alien DNA which appears in the next to last round. These patients have had their
                    DNA mixed with aliens have bright green wrinkly bodies with feet and a big nose, soon sorted if you can afford $20,000 for a DNA clinic when they appear during emergencies. EMERGENCIES To make the game less straightforward you get emergencies to deal with in a specified amount of time. If you choose to deal with the emergencies you need to have the right treatment rooms and specialists. I found it useful to leave enough space to quickly add another room close enough to where the helicopter which brings the patient in lands. If you don’t cure all of the emergency patients you lose part or all of a bonus and your reputation suffers. You can choose not to deal with the emergencies but they are part of the challenge. EPIDEMICS If one of your patients has a contagious disease they can pass it on to all of the others that they have been in contact with. You can either bottle out and declare an epidemic and pay a fine and take a reputation hit to have your patients vaccinated or you can attempt a cover up. When that happens the contagious patients are highlighted with a green icon above their heads and you have a set amount of time to cure them. If you don’t you get a higher fine and reputation hit, if you do you get a compensation award for false rumours. EARTHQUAKES Every now and then there are earthquakes that damage your machinery in the operating theatre, diagnosis rooms and clinics. The more you have the harder it is to get round them all and either repair or buy new machinery before it blows up killing your patient and doctor using it and destroying a room – you can’t build another there. You can click on every piece of machinery and a panel appears. It tells you how many times the machine has been used and gives you a choice of sending for a cleaner for maintenance or buying new machinery. VISITORS Every now and then you get asked if a visitor can look around. You can say yes or put them of
                    f. If you say yes and they like what they see you get varying cash awards. If they don’t like your hospital your reputation can suffer. SOUND & GRAPHICS I thought the graphics were excellent. The little people look cute and not realistic enough to make the game too serious. I laughed when the patients went to the toilet. Some of the men pull newspapers out and sit and read them and you can hear grunts and groans and toilets flushing. Other background sounds come from the machinery when it’s being used or a siren to warn you that a machine needs repairing before it blows up. Every now and then you hear a nasal tannoy message asking doctors or nurses to report to the treatment rooms. Or what made me laugh was announcements asking patients not to be sick or not to die in the corridors. Sometimes you get a vomit virus and patients spewing out brown sick to the accompaniment of retching noises. The poor cleaners get fed up with cleaning the mess up and demand pay rises or quit on you. Then at odd times patients get the squits and squat and squirt brown puddles – good job they aren't wearing undies or you would need a laundry! If you are managing everything well it doesn’t happen too often but it does tend to happen when you are trying to deal with another emergency so you need to be quick and get the cleaners moved or hire more. MUSIC I found the background music a bit monotonous despite being able to select from 8 different tunes or turn the ones off that I didn’t want to listen to. For the last few rounds I turned the sound down and played the game in semi silence. INFORMATION There are lots of different panels giving you information on the games progress. You can find out your monetary status and where the money is going. You can find out if ailments are curable and increase or lower charges made for treatment. You can turn the heating up and see how happy, how thirsty or how w
                    arm your patients are. Another panel shows you how much you have earned, how high your reputation is, how much your hospital is worth and how many and what percentage of patients you have treated. After patients have been in your hospital a while they get an icon above their heads. They start off with a face with a down turned mouth that gradually turns into a skull. You need to get those patients treated as quickly as possible before they die and your reputation suffers. COMPETITION You are supposed to be competing against 3 other hospitals but the competition isn’t that hot and didn’t really mean anything to me. You can also play Theme Hospital online with others but I haven’t tried that yet. DOWNSIDE I got my copy in a DVD case, but was disappointed that there was no tutorial. I found that on the CD and had to print off 18 A4 pages to learn how to play the game. PLAYABILITY I found Theme Hospital easy to learn how to play and very addictive. The challenges were enough not to find the game too easy and to keep me playing without boredom for many hours. I liked being able to save the game when I wanted or being able to restart a round if it wasn't going too well for me. WAS IT WORTH IT? Absolutely, I would have been quite happy to pay a lot more for Theme Hospital. As you might already have gathered I loved playing this game. So much that I got withdrawal symptoms and missed it when I had completed it. The good news is that I’ve just found a download to enable me to add a pregnancy clinic at http://www.eudoxus.demon.co.uk/thc/ and now I can play it again with this free extra. SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS Windows 95/98 (Apparently there are problems with ME that require a patch) Intel Pentium Processor 25MB Hard Disk Space 4x CD Rom Drive DirectX 3.0 Compatible 1MB Videocard DirectX 3.0 Compatible Soundcard Theme Hospital was released in 1997 by
                    Bullfrog and is available on Amazon for £6.99 Demo downloadable from http://www.medsvr.co.uk/th/demo.zip

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                      04.03.2002 01:17
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                      Theme hospital, the sequel the theme park, no surprise there, is a simulation game. The main aim of the game is to design and run a hospital and complete each level. Each level has certain criteria for example, cure 300 patients, make £300,000 and keep the hospitals reputation above 700. Every 4 months you are given the chance to go to the next level if you have completed the criteria however you can stay with the same hospital and carry on if you really want to. There is space to save 9 games, can continue the last and start form the very beginning again. You have been employed by the ministry of health and have to make decisions. Health visitors and footballers can be invited to your hospital and depending what they think can affect whether you complete the level or can?t even afford the clothes on your back! Many rooms must be built including GP?s office, General diagnosis, a ward, psychiatric room, pharmacy, operating theatre, clinics, toilets, staff rooms, research rooms and even training rooms so junior doctors can be trained. This involves choosing and purchasing new buildings to make the hospital bigger. There can be ?epidemics warnings? to earthquakes, Boiler breakdowns to vomit waves and even emergencies that arrive in a helicopter you name it, its likely to happen to this highly addictive game! This is one of my favourite games, yes it may be very old and there are better ones out but I find I play a new game for a couple of months but I soon get bored. I always come back to this game. I brought it as soon as it came out all them years ago in 1997 and have never looked back. I think you can buy it for about £10 now so what are you waiting for, £10 for hours of fun, what can you do wrong!!!

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                        08.11.2001 23:35
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                        One of the first games I ever played on a PC was SimCity - this involved managing a city both economically, physically and also looking after the well being of the people. As the years went by the programmers improved the game play, graphics and sound. After a few years as software developers began to realize that there is a market for simulation type games, a few similar games began to appear. One of the first I played was theme park which allowed you to build your own 'theme park' and populate it with rides and food stands to try and interest the public. Over the years many different theme / sim games have been produced, perhaps one of the strangest being Theme Hospital. This really isn't a realistic simulation of running a hospital, but can be fun. <The Game> It is your job to build a hospital and ensure that it runs efficiently while treating patients. You start of with a shell of a building and begin to add rooms etc until you have a fully functioning hospital. The game gives you several options: -build a room - this allows you to build several rooms, ranging from a doctor's office, or treatment room, to a Ward or Research lab. As you progress through the game, the amount of rooms you can choose from increases (e.g. you can eventually build a cardiovascular room) thus allowing you to treat more patients. Additionally, as your research lab find new cures and diseases, you can build special treatment rooms. -build an item - one of the first things you will want to build is a receptionist's desk. In addition to this you have the ability to add waiting room chairs, toilets, a staff room, radiators, plants etc. These items ensure the happiness of your patients as well as your staff. -hire staff - when you build rooms you will need to hire staff. Initially you will hire a receptionist, but as you progress you will hire doctors and nurses - some doctors come with specialties, these
                        are essential for rooms like the psychiatry lab or the research lab. Each staff member has differing abilities, and as in real life you will generally pay more for better staff. As well as the medical staff you will hire maintenance people - these are used to keep the hospital clean but also to mend some of the equipment. As you progress through the game you will be notified of several events; sometimes a doctor will want a pay rise - you can give the pay rise or fire the doctor; sometimes a patient will have a disease that you are unsure about - you can ask the patient to wait, or attempt to cure them (based on a % chance - be careful you can kill patients!). An advisor will occasionally pop up and give you general information or advice; additionally the receptionist will make announcements and often this will give you an indication of areas in which you need to concentrate your efforts. The game gives you a whole bundle of options to mess with; you can increase or decrease the amount of heat; you can increase or decrease the number of people who will be in a queue waiting for a doctor or for treatment; you can increase your prices for everything you do in your hospital. To assist you, there are many graphs that will give you vital information e.g. happiness of staff, happiness of patients; amount of heat in building etc. <Game play> A lot happens in this game and without careful planning and consideration you may find your hospital impossible to run efficiently. You do have the option to slow the game down and this helps! The creation of rooms is relatively simple; you chose the room, then move the cursor to highlight the area you want to use - the color of the area will change from red to blue once the room is the minimum acceptable size (larger rooms will make your staff happier, or will allow for more beds!); once you are happy with the size of the room you can place the standard furniture that comes
                        with the room (at this point you can add more furniture); once the room is finished then you can hire the relevant staff member for the room using a different option. Everything you want to do is on an Icon bar at the bottom of the screen (aside from the game options - e.g. load, save, sound etc). The layout and ease of use is very good, and most things are very easy to do. As new notes appear, they line up just above your icons thus allowing you to access them quickly and easily. Moving your mouse around allows you to scroll the screen; a combination of right and left clicks of the mouse gives you options to move things, change things, fire etc. <My Opinion> I have always liked simulation type games. Theme Hospital is good adding a little humour to the genre (especially with some of the comments from the receptionist). Some of the diseases are fairly funny, as are the treatments - one includes deflating someone's head! The graphics are a little outdated; the game is several years old. This isn't a major problem as it really isn't a graphic oriented game. The sound is excellent, with stereo sound, good music and many voices. This adds to the general atmosphere of the game. However it does get a little monotonous eventually as the receptionist repeats 'Sorry about the mess' I found the game got a little monotonous at times; without the ability to speed up the game too much, I found myself waiting for my hospital to reach its goals - once you have fully designed the hospital there really isn't much more to do but wait. In some cases this took ten to fifteen minutes, my only interaction during his time being giving a few doctors a pay rise. <Conclusion> This is a good sim game that will appeal to many; those looking for an action packed game should look elsewhere as this is more of a thinker's game. Those looking for a realistic game should also l
                        ook elsewhere as this game does not simulate the real world, but is more of an 'arcade' type simulation.

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                          27.09.2001 02:02
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                          Theme Hospital is a totally terrible game. I can’t emphasize my pure hatred of this game. So why did I buy it? Well I didn’t, one of my friends gave me it and I thought I could sell it on e-bay but surprise, surprise no-one wanted it. I undertook the grave misadventure of playing it. How this game made it to the Playstation I do not know. The control system is dodgy at best with no mouse available. It is incredibly frustrating trying to play the game using a control pad. Games like this should stay where they belong, on the PC. In Theme Hospital your main aim is to build and maintain a better hospital than your competitors. Oh Joy, can you feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins right now? Exactly. After you have achieved this aim you are presented with another empty shell within which you construct and maintain a hospital. Low and behold this goes on, and on and on, for nearly 15 levels! The graphics are shoddy and were even bad when this game was released. The gameplay is non-existent, move cursor, click, move cursor and click. Basically you choose where the rooms go e.g. GP’s office, Toilets, Pharmacy. You also get to hire and sack staff and sometimes endeavour to choose a suitable treatment for patients. The game has no replay value whatsoever and the only reason I could possibly think of as to why you should bother to complete this game is to discover new diseases. This doesn’t even deserve the title of a game. So there must be something to recommend it? Well, its cheap or free to due its absolute all round poorness. Also some pleasure can be gleaned by killing patients and looking at excretion on the floor if you don’t install toilets. Childish? Yes but this game has reduced me to this level. So in short this is a curse upon the gaming world. Don’t even give it the pleasure of being picked up off the shelf, it should come with a government heal
                          th warning.

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                            04.09.2001 00:34
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                            Theme Hospital is a totally terrible game. I can’t emphasize my pure hatred of this game. So why did I buy it? Well I didn’t, one of my friends gave me it and I thought I could sell it on e-bay but surprise, surprise no-one wanted it. I undertook the grave misadventure of playing it. How this game made it to the Playstation I do not know. The control system is dodgy at best with no mouse available. It is incredibly frustrating trying to play the game using a control pad. Games like this should stay where they belong, on the PC. In Theme Hospital your main aim is to build and maintain a better hospital than your competitors. Oh Joy, can you feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins right now? Exactly. After you have achieved this aim you are presented with another empty shell within which you construct and maintain a hospital. Low and behold this goes on, and on and on, for nearly 15 levels! The graphics are shoddy and were even bad when this game was released. The gameplay is non-existent, move cursor, click, move cursor and click. Basically you choose where the rooms go e.g. GP’s office, Toilets, Pharmacy. You also get to hire and sack staff and sometimes endeavour to choose a suitable treatment for patients. The game has no replay value whatsoever and the only reason I could possibly think of as to why you should bother to complete this game is to discover new diseases. This doesn’t even deserve the title of a game. So there must be something to recommend it? Well, its cheap or free to due its absolute all round poorness. Also some pleasure can be gleaned by killing patients and looking at excretion on the floor if you don’t install toilets. Childish? Yes but this game has reduced me to this level. So in short this is a curse upon the gaming world. Don’t even give it the pleasure of being picked up off the shelf, it should come with a government heal
                            th warning. If however you like this style of game then you will no doubt disagree with me. I do realise that some people like these theme games as they are very popular on the PC, translation to playstation format just emphasizes all the bad points though.

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                          • Product Details

                            Running a hospital is no easy task, and as an administrator you're well aware of this. All of your "customers" are sick and want to feel better immediately, while at the same time you've got to run several departments at once: emergency rooms, surgical units, and pharmacies. In THEME HOSPITAL you have to design a new hospital so that patients can get in, get cured, and then get out as quickly as possible. Furthermore, you must research cures for unique diseases such as bloated head and invisibility. If you can keep the death rates low and the profits high, you will gain a reputation and the opportunity to run bigger and better hospitals. See if you can come up with a solution to the problem of health care with THEME HOSPITAL.