Alphabeti Sly-getti (A)

Member Name: SlyClone2k

Product:	A
Date:	25/04/03 (163 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Begins in A

Disadvantages: Ends In Z

Well this thing is catching wind. And since this is op numero 50 for me why not something flighty?

A. Absolutely everything that ever started began with an a. A big bang or a big fart or even a big trip to the seaside, you see you can't get away from it. A is just there and there it is to stay. Fortunately not too many things start with two a's. Apart from my remote control and Aardvarks I can't think of much else, which is probably a good thing because it'd all get very confusing. Where would we be with out an a. I think that we'd probably we would be using a different word. Not 'An' though, we would be able to have that as the a would be gone.

B. B eh. Hmm. Well B. I mean. You know. You can think about B. But not a lot comes to mind. Let me roll it around for a bit. B B B B B B B. My there are more b's there than you can shake a stick at. Not that you'd want to because shaking sticks at bees is likely to get you stung.

C. Well. Now C is obvious. If I were to talk about me I'd talk about my wife, although of course that wouldn't be talking about me at all. But my wife's name begins with a C. But I'm not going to tell you what the rest of the letters are in the name because that wouldn't fit c or see. But not horses they have nothing to do with it at all.

D. Dynamic. Would I be ever changeable and flexible in the face of adversity then perhaps I would be called dynamic. But I'm not particularly so I'm not sure this has anything to do with me. Although having said 'Do', I suppose I could mention DooYoo as that has something to do with me, and you.

E. By gum. What a line. I don't hail from the North. Well that's not true actually I come from Lincoln, which is north, but not really north, unless you live in say Sydney, Australia in which case its almost as north as you'd care to get. But mostly I don't hail, although with a name like Sly
Clone you might expect some adverse weather conditions I largely prefer to be a sunny type.

F. For two dogs skipping every cat has a green over coat that they pulled up when the barbers and the quartets pulled strings that made the pretty sunlight sparkle of the glistening mounds of gravy that dribbled onto my roast chicken dinner. Fanciful nonsense isn't it? Yes that's what my head contains.

G. Gorgeous. I wish I was. I really do wish. Though most of the time it isn't a proper wish, most of the time the wish is actually more of a sigh. Did you know a sigh is mentioned in the bible? Apparently a sigh is a prayer where words cannot express the desired feeling. It's somewhere in Romans apparently. It's also the first two letters of my name.

H. Hallucinations. Man I used to hallucinate loads. Granted I used to do things that would make me hallucinate. Like drink tea made out of mushrooms. This could explain F of course. But I don't do that anymore. No it's all part of my distant past.

I. I, or me or eye. Which I exactly or eye would be the right eye to choose. Or left eye. But I'm not talking about my peepers. I mean what are we doing here, writing stuff about letters. Well I or Si, not to be confused with sighs as outlined in G, is a happy ole soul and a happy ole soul was he. Being me.

J. For the life of me I can't think of anything to do with J. Not a sausage. So I suppose I could write about fried breakfasts which would have been better under F. But since I knew J was coming I'd already prepared a J. Though at the time I forgot I'd actually have to do a J. Well what about the fried breakfast. Well I like 'em preferably with an ice cold pepsi. Which explains perhaps why I'm getting so fat. Gosh I'm really good at F and me. Shame about the j.

K. Krikey I'm running out of things to write here. K is for Knocking. Which my Kneighbours do all day and most
of the evening, and sometimes well into the Knight. The think I like about K is it's mostly silent. Unlike my neighbours, who sound like two elephants on unicycles slapping the walls with a walrus.

L. Lorks. Is a word that I've recently picked up but from Lorks knows where. The good thing about it is its usefulness for example; Lorks I didn't want to do that, Lorks-a-limey guvnor you didn't want to do that. I could go on.

M. M is for peanut M and M's which have never been as good as Treats were. Even if they are multicoloured. M is also for madness. Some people think I'm a little odd, but what happens is I let my imagination spill over. Usually I'm quite normal. >twitch<

N. No way can N be blamed for all the aNNoying Noises that my Nieghbours generate. But you heard enough about that in K. So n is for Noise. Which seems to be the world I live in these days. I wish I lived somewhere quiet.

O. O is for Orang-utan. Not only the best ape creature in the world but also way up there on my favourite list of characters from Terry Pratchett. The Librarian is an Orang-utan.

P. Paradoxically this opinion has very little do with me at all. But it does delve deep into the psyche of a SlyClone. Or a PsyClone which is another moniker I use.

Q. Q is for queen. That isn't to say I'm a queen. Although I do like dressing up in womens clothing. But only if I think its going to get me some attention. Actually I'm lying. Much as womens underwear looks pretty it does tend to chaff.

R. Rarely do I conceive. Which is just as well because being a bloke I'm not built for child birth. Although once in a while I think it'd be pretty cool if I did get pregnant. What a story that would be to sell to the Daily Sport.

S. Sleep. Boy do I like to sleep. I used to love sleeping but as me little mind gets older I don't seem to be able to get as much. Which is a real shame be
cause sometimes my dreams rock. Not with musical instruments, although perhaps if I learnt to play the guitar they might. No they just rock with bang up story lines that would make for some interesting stories if I could just be bothered to write them down when I woke up.

T. Tea is for drinking, though it doesn?t taste as good since I gave up smoking.

U. Is for unadulterated nonsense which I like to write. Such as the following; Wibble grew but more importantly his sense of smell shrunk indirectly proportionate to the amount of time he spent with his girlfriend. But that was okay because Wibble was a skunk.

V. Valiant and chivalrous are two words that I wish I heard more often. There isn't enough of either in the world today. I blame equal opportunities.

W. Why does the alphabet have so many letters? And what do I actually have to say about myself here? Do you know I really can't think of things to put against all these letters. Does it show? Does it? Well you're still reading aren't you so who's got the problem here. Not me. Actually I do have some problems. Mostly they begin with W.

X. X is for X-ray. I wish I had xray vision. In fact xray vision is one of the primary superpowers I'd like. Imagine all the possibilities. And all the naked chicks. Or fellas if you were a super girl.

Y. Check out w really.

Z. Is for the end. Z is great and Z is pointy. Pointy is good. To be honest pointy is one of my favourite words. It also has it's own poem written by John Lillison and recited by Steve Martin in 'The Man With Two Brains':
Pointy Birds,
oh pointy, pointy
Anoint my head,
anointy-nointy

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