London 2012: From the elephant in the room to the big white one? (Archive in general)

Member Name: thedevilinme

Product:	Archive in general
Date:	29/08/08 (137 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: We have the Games!

Disadvantages: Its expensive

So Boris has the Olympic flag safely back in 'Blighty' and his first batch of Olympic related bunglings are out of the way, thankfully war not raging with China after his predictably patronizing speeches from Beijing.

After a spectacularly expensive and perfunctory games as far as atmosphere and venues go (how dull would have been if we hadn't won many medals) the mantle has been passed and its London's turn once again. In 1948 we stepped into the breech to take the Olympics when someone cancelled just after World War 2 and had a great games, taking many gold's, including the tug-of-war and motor-boating! But now it is our turn should we try to better China or should we be individual with things, like the opening ceremony, the Olympics costing China an estimated £2,231 pounds per second during the 15 days. But with the main venues pad-locked and bolted in some of the past Olympic cities, including Barcelona and Athens, the legacy has to be stressed in London; the logistics and new facilities not just ending up as white elephants, as they surely will be in Beijing.

The projected nine million funding will go up and up, whatever New Labor tell you, those stadia and venues having to be built on time in the credit crunch. The reason Olympics are never finished until the last week is because the contractors drag out the projects to push up the bill off the back of the media angst hype, just like your domestic builders do over the kitchen extension..

With the build deals now signed and sealed for the East London site project is beginning to roar ahead. I trust Seb Coe to deliver as he's one of my all time athletics heroes, always seeking perfection - I don't expect Boris to be still there, long since resigned for some racist comment or Olympic fiddle.

After the cringing 15 minute skit at the Beijing closing ceremony (as naff as the official London 2012 logo if you ask me) I do hope our opener is more original than that. We don't want to see more fireworks than Baghdad and more dancers than an X-Files audition queue but we do need something very British, distinctive and on the cheap. That red bus symbolism meant little to Chinese people and only the appearance of Sun God Beckham woke the hosts up to the fact the Brits were even in Beijing, they thinking it was some sort of Nike promotion. In fact Leona Lewis, Beck's and Jimmy Page are all signed to Simon Cowells Management Company. After all the success from the athletes then why were celebrities and a bus full of ethnically diverse extras representing us in the Olympic Games? What was that all about with the little Asian girl who comes out off the bus? Had she been left at Heathrow and making her own way to Lambeth to find her new uncle she's never met? Politically correct nonsense!

Anyhow, the venues are decided and being built but what about the events? Perhaps some new additions in keeping with modern London are called for...:-)

= = = = Heres my top 10 suggestions = = = =

-Number One- 'The 100 meters Stop and Search' -

It's your normal 100 meters but Usain Bolt and co have to get to the other end without being pulled over by racist Metropolitan police officers to claim the medals.

Number Two - '100 meters single mum pushchair relay'-

Single moms of the world assemble on the start line with their prams and pushchairs and then race along for 4x100 meter legs, then hand over their benefit book to the next member of the team. The first one to get pregnant by the end of the lap gets the gold!

Number Three - The mugging 10k walk-

Competitors have to successfully navigate around East London without being knifed, deported, robbed or employed.

Number Four - Toss the traffic warden-

Competitors get to throw the pesky wardens over a high metal bridge clearance bar with a concrete floor on the other side, instead of a crash mat; the guy that clears the highest bar cleared claims the gold.

Number Five - The Congestion Charge marathon-

Straightforward 26 mile marathon around the edge of the congestion charge zone in 2012, somewhere between Watford and Gatwick!

Number Six - The cycle courier Madison-

The Madison is just a mad scramble of bikes in the velodrome where riders win points for seemingly random and spontaneous sprints and wild maneuvers on the curb where they can suddenly stop still, so ideal for courier cyclists in London! Last one standing after a black cab has ridden around the track in the opposite direction wins it.

Number Seven- The tourist 10k-

The first fat tourist (usually American) across the line wearing a yellow jumper, plaid trousers and a big silly hat wins the gold, although he has to identify really big and obvious tourist landmarks-Buckingham Palace etc-on the map on the way whilst standing in front of them asking where they are.

Number Eight- The Illegal immigrant Laser class -

The yachters have to race up the Thames and across the Channel and back again without picking up any illegals on the hull or in the hold. The lightest boat back wins it!

Number nine- 1000 Meters row-

The double-skullers have to row as far as they can up the Thames before a mixture of used toilet roll, industrial sewage and dead bodies slow their oars to a stand still. The one that gets the nearest wins gold!

Number ten -Twaekwondo-

The competitors have to try and get served in the West End without being bottled, assaulted or propositioned, kicking and punching their way through the drunks, yobs and prostitutes to get served.

= = = = = = = = = = =

London is the most multicultural city in the world and so the Olympics are an ideal tribute to that ethos of if you get here your not sent home. I'm very proud we got the Games and will be volunteering nearer the day, although I expect a position of authority fitting my genius. I want to at least mark out where the javelin lands! I have already applied to be towel boy for the Ynling girl's class changing-rooms in the yachting although knowing my luck it will be for the women's shot put.

I enjoyed the Commonwealth Games at Manchester and went to some games during Euro96, and although the occasion wasn't as glamorous as seeing big sport events away from the U.K., we still put on a good show. But it did lack glamour, something Brits just don't seem to bring to sport events. If the ticket prices are too high Brits just won't go, and as it's not China and we won't be forced into the events at the tip of Corporal Jones bayonet then there will be gaps if they don't keep the tickets around Ryan Air prices. Obviously the cooperates will have all the best seats at the best events, you and me confined to archery and badminton.

I'm 100% behind the games and you should be too. I'm bored of the doubters and moaners saying its taken money from other areas. It's a prestige event and we have won it and only good will come out of it, especially to the young British people who get inspired by seeing the Games at a young age. I know I was by Moscow and L.A and tried my hardest to run for GB.Yes I fell short but it was the 100 other kids my age that also had the same dream which are important. Getting the Olympics is the rebirth of your nation, something we seriously need after Blair and Thatcher wrecked our good name. Come on mums and dads, get your kids interested and active and let's beat that 19 gold medal total. Viva London!

Summary: Start saving and training kids!