In this season of goodwill and happiness, I'm not sending you any. (Christmas and Commercialisation)

Member Name: DarkLady

Product:	Christmas and Commercialisation
Date:	15/12/01 (149 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None

Disadvantages: Ruins usually enjoyable activities, An unhappy time for many, Fattening

Christmas, we are told, is about giving. It's about loving, togetherness and families. For many people it's about Christ too and celebrating his birth. Which is a little bit late in my opinion as he died yonks ago.

At some point long before Christmas eve town centres will become intolerable. The roof of Harvey Nichols has already sprouted fake snow machines which rain an incessant stream of "snowflakes" on closer inspection these turn out to be very small soap bubbles. If you can bring yourself to press on through the surprisingly miserable and viscious crowds (watch out for the Mothers who's perambulators can deal a severe bruise to the ankle). Then you will be rewarded with shop displays so devastated by greedy, clutching hands that any attempt to purchase day to day essentials confounds you into an ignoble state of quivering frustration.

When I was a child, and being taught the meaning of Christmas. My family would enage in a sort of highly speculative buying and selling game. Our parents would not only guarantee a fun filled and happy Christmas morning but actually add and remove presents on an imaginary list for episodes of good or bad behaviour. Thus it was possible to calculate exactly how many presents one would recieve simply by keeping track of the progress of this hypothetical document. It was also possible, on our highly flexible Christmas wish lists, to combine birthday and Christmas, birthday and two Christmases. Or for gifts that only marginally exceeded the perceived yuletide budget 1 Christmas or Birthday and 1 Easter egg or Hallowe'en present. As a result of this practice all the younger members of the family became rapidly skilled in addition, subtraction and the finer points of negotatiation.

So how has this affected my attitude to the Festive Season? Well, over the years I have cultivated a healthy indifference. When December comes round and Christmas cards begin to plop onto the mat, ususa
lly from people with whom I can scarcely bring myself to communicate. I eagerly scoop them up and fling them, unopened into the recycling box. The mince pies meet with a warmer reception until a certain weight threshold is reached whereupon I begin to scoop out the mincemeat and leave the pastry. Christmas lunch for me is usually an egg sandwich from a tupperware container since I have opted to work on Christmas day for the entirety of my adult life and refused to eat genetically modified, mutant hospital turkeys.

As for togetherness and the family, you can forget it. My memories of Christmas include raging tantrums and a lunch which finally came together at about four in the afternoon with many key components thoroughly cold and soggy.

At this time of year days are at their shortest so it is only natural that we often feel a little down in the mouth. My advice...don't fight it, get out there and ruin someone's day.

Season's greetings

Dark Lady
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