Parachuting Santa on SAS duty and some nice tasty twigs! (Decorations & Trees in general)

Member Name: KingHerrod

Product:	Decorations & Trees in general
Date:	19/12/01 (210 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Twigs, looks nice

Disadvantages: Might trip you up, tree dies :(

Hello all, it is Geoffrey here, the giraffe with the cool mohican haircut, I wasn't going to be allowed to write this little story because MrKing says what is the point about writing about decorating a Christmas tree. But seeing as I have just endured a rather nasty kidnap ordeal, but the kidnappers came off worse, they started to really annoy me with their bleating and so I scalped them (with an axe that Bradley the permanently sad looking basset hound had supplied me with) and escaped. So MrKing is being extra nice to me at the moment and let me tell you about our cool Christmas tree.

It all started at the weekend, when Lorraine decided we had to have a huge real tree in the house, I got all confused and wondered how it would be planted and whether it would grow so big that it would burst the ceiling and then make a mess of our lovely house. But Lorraine told me that the poor tree gets cut down and then put in the room, which rather upset me, I like trees and could not fathom at all why anybody would want to cut down a tree and put it in their house. But Lorraine said that the tree would look nice and it had been grown especially to go into the houses at Christmas and make people happy when they looked at it. Feeling placated we all went down to the local Garden centre, which was not very central at all and out of the way in a pokey side street. Anyway, we had to choose a tree, now MrKing and me would have been happy with lots of the trees in the centre. All MrKing said was that we would not want one that dropped needles as that would make a mess and he would have to clear it up, because I was too lazy to do it. So we looked at trees and Lorraine said some were too lopsided and some were too bushy and some were too small and some were too tall. Now me and MrKing began to regret all this business and we just wanted to give a tree a nice home so that it could fulfil its dreams. But eventually Lorraine decided she liked a tree enough to buy it
and we did.

Now apparently you put things on the tree to make it look nice, this makes the tree even happier, oh did I tell you I called the tree Terence, no well I did and Terence is a cool name. These things you put on the tree are called decorations, MrKing said we already had loads, but Lorraine said they were last season and so we had to have new ones. I got a bit worried here, thinking that they may argue, but they didn't and compromised and bought some new decorations but not many. I choose some too and mine were some snowmen, who were doing lots of fun things. The snowmen told me they liked hanging on trees.

We got Terence home and he said he liked his new place and was happy when we put him in the base that was going to keep him all upright and stop him falling over all the time. Now MrKing said you have to give Terence water, (which goes in the base) otherwise he will go all brown and drop his needles all over the floor. Then all you will have is twigs. I like twigs they make a good snack, but I like Terence too so I will keep him watered so he can enjoy his time in the house, but when he finally fulfils his dream and then dies I will have lots of twigs to eat. Terence said that this would be nice as normally his friends just end up in a smelly dump, which does not sound very nice at all.

I liked the decorating bit, me and MrKing had lots of cool decorations, we had a relaxing Rudolph and a penguin with a scarf that looked like my friend Percy. The best decoration was a parachuting Santa, who was on secret SAS duties. Lorraine was nice and brought me a special Christmas giraffe decoration, that I hung on the tree smelling parachuting Santa's bum! I liked the cool decorations and the tinsel, which was all sparkly and we wrapped it round Terence to keep him warm.

Lorraine had some boring decorations; plain gold balls, which had no hair on, these springy twirly things that were quite cool and I dangle
d some of them from my ears and some other colour coordinated things, it made Terence look stylish, but Terence secretly told me that he liked my decorations best. Plus some of the decorations were red and that reminded me of Arsenal, so I almost got my axe out and scalped them, but I didn't because I am calmer since I have been going to anger management classes.

After that, we put some lights on Terence, these were just plain white lights and we wrapped them round him and he twinkled. I laughed and said he looked like a gay tree and he said that even if he was a gay tree there was nothing wrong with that and then he tripped me up with a branch and I fell on my nose and it bled. Lorraine got me a tissue and said that it would teach me not to make fun of other things and to be nice to them.

The only problem I have is that Lorraine keeps taking the tinsel off the tree and saying that it looks tacky and I keep finding it again and putting it back on Terence. So that is our tree it is real and not plastic, it has cool decorations on and some stylish ones, our tree is called Terence and he likes being in our house. He was quite expensive, he cost £34, but he looks nice and green and his needles will not drop, and he is as tall as MrKing and quite wide, but not as wide as Bradley's bum. The decorations were a mix and cost between £5 for a set of gold hairless balls and £3, for a parachuting Santa. Oh and Terence has a nice star on his head.

Terence makes our living room look nice and he smells all pine fresh, what I want to know is who is decorating your living room?

MrKing says he will be called a whore for writing this, but I don't understand and liked writing this and he is an old grump anyway!

Well just to let you all know, January the 6th came and it was very sad, everybody had to be packed into a box, although Relaxing Rudolph is going to have fun looking up Mrs Santa's skirt for the next eleven mon
ths.

Of course I receycled Terence, he has been nice twig snack food for the past week or so and then fertilizer for Lorraine's bulbs! Terence was tasty and I know he was pleased to be recycled.

Summary: