Chocolate (My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist)

Member Name: jillmurphy

Product:	My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist
Date:	15/11/00 (290 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I only mentioned chocolate once.

Disadvantages: I only mentioned chocolate once.

Dear Santa

I haven’t written a letter to you for a very, very long time. I think it was the disappointment I felt at your failure to provide the requested faux lizard skin six inch platform shoes and the Rimmel make up set contained within my last effort dated December 197* (I expect you remember the year but no one else need know).

Well, I’m over that now, although only just (there were no slow dances at the school disco for me that year) and so I venture to ask you for a few things. Look kindly on me, I’ve tried to be good, I really have.

DISCERNMENT: For my son Conor whose choice of friends disturbs me somewhat. I refer in particular to one Lewis Williams (not his real name so you still send him something) who insists on telling Conor to hit other children in the playground and when he doesn’t hits Conor himself. I detest this child. I also detest his mother, who finds it funny.

SENSE OF PROPORTION: For my husband Michael who goes into a minimum forty-eight hour sulk when the Chelsea football team suffer defeat. You may have noticed that they have made a rather poor start to the current season. I so dislike talking to A Brick Wall. Following nicely on is……

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: For Ron Atkinson the football commentator, that I may watch the game without throwing something at the telly. He is large not only of girth (no offence oh portly one) but of bigotry too and in sore need of a sea change I feel. I don’t know Ron personally of course, but you’re welcome to tell him it’s with love from me.

QUIET: For my boss John, aka Brian Blessed, whose quest for growth, profit and the perfectly run office is conducted at a decibel level akin to that of the Heathrow flight path. He gives me a headache. Unfortunately analgesia is not a permitted item on the company expense form.

CHOCOLATE: For me, my
self and I. Sorry to break the intangible motif . Lots of it too, you have some making up to do for those missing platform shoes! I am particularly keen on Crème Eggs, Toblerone (any variety), Thorntons Continentals, Rolos, Maltesers, Dime Bars, Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, Flakes………………..

You will notice I’m not being greedy. I could have asked for ten things, I’ve only mentioned five, but then five is all I really need. You may take the unused entries, make them what you like and share them around people in greater need than I. You probably know much better than I who they are. I’ll leave it up to you.

As I remember that letter of 197* contained a whole host of items, listing just about everything desirable at the time. I shall not embarrass myself by mentioning them here. I even included a boyfriend, in particular Simon Owen, The Best Boy In The School - obviously too tall an order, even for you. So please, be kind to me this Christmas.

If you can’t manage them all just the CHOCOLATE will do. That’s the priority item.

Give Rudolph, the other reindeer, the pixies and the elves my best. And a Merry Christmas to you. You will find the mince pies in the usual place.

Jill

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