Dear Santa

The ten things I would like for Christmas are

1 - That just for one day I can watch the news on television, without some poor kid being killed.

2 - For the government to actually give a monkey's about the people that it's supposed to represent.

3 - For Daphne & Celeste (the annoying popstars) to be sacked and told to never disgrace the music world again.

4 - For all the big media companies to realise that we are sick of paying through the nose for products that cost very little to produce. (Long live Napster and all it's clones)

5 - Broadband internet access to be available to everyone in Britain before I die.

6 - Mobile phones with lurid plastic covers to be banned.

7 - A decent England football team that plays with as much passion as the kids down the park do.

8 - Internet Service Providers to stick to their adverts and not kick off people for doing what the ISP said they could in the first place. (Breathe Freely ... but only a little bit)

9 - My daughter to realise that waking Daddy up by pulling out his chest hairs isn't funny at all.

10 - Sarah Michelle Gellar,

I realise that the first nine are impossible, but try your best please.