I've been an awful good girl, Santa Baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight (My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist)

Member Name: indychick_uk

Product:	My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist
Date:	09/11/01 (69 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Just what I always wanted..

Disadvantages: I should be so lucky..

This has really got me thinking – what would be my top 10, money’s no object, christmas presents? It’s a toughy, particularly when I know I’m going to get smellies from the Body Shop from my best mate, some lovely underwear from my mum (it’s very sad when a girl has to rely on her mum to buy her underwear isn’t it) and from my husband – probably a box of choccies, some jewellery and a pile of books.

When I was young (not THAT long ago) I remember that "a cat" was always top of my list (apart from the year when all I asked for was my two front teeth) but these days I have a cat, and a full set of gnashers so what do I want?

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want....


(NB I’m making no apologies for the fact that these wishes are, on reading them back, rather self-centred. I’m sorry but this are MY wishes – if you want altruism, look elsewhere.)


Dear Santa, I’ve been (reasonably) good all year and so I’d be most grateful of you could get me the following for Christmas.

10 Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me...

Well, actually, no. I’m a vegetarian and completely anti-fur so could you substitute a visit from Home Front?

You see, we moved into our new home about 3 months ago and, although we’ve done quite a lot to it already it’s in desperate need of a makeover. There's the study, complete with safe built into what was once a nice fireplace, would be quite useful if the previous owners had thought to leave us the key but they SAID they were going to come back and take it away….. Then the lounge which has cables hanging out of the walls where they took the wall lights away and the cut ends of speaker wires where they took there surround sound wall-mounted speakers. Finally, the piece de resistance, The Camouflage Room! Two little boys who were heavily into Act
ion Man occupied this bedroom and their parents painted the walls of their bedroom with a camouflage pattern. Not only that but half the room is jungle camouflage and the other is winter camouflage. At this point I really which I could attach a picture as no matter who we explain this phenomenon too they always go “Oh my God, it really IS camouflage” when they finally see it.
By the way, Santa, don't let the reindeer in this room as they'll think they're back in the forests of Lapland and you'll never get them back.

9 Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue, I'll wait up for you dear...

But really, my car’s quite nice so if you could arrange for my husband to learn to drive and pass his test that would be much more useful.

This probably seems like a really silly thing to ask for, after all I could just ask him to take some lessons couldn’t I? Well, I have. So have his parents, my parents, his brother, our friends…..if I had a pound for every time someone has said to him “So, when are you going to learn to drive?” I’d be rich and wouldn’t have to have my wish no. 8.

When we met, about 18 months ago, I was quite surprised to discover he didn’t drive but he told me he was planning to learn. Until shortly before he’d lived with his parents, worked within walking/cycling distance and had no need to drive. I waited for him to start learning then discovered that he didn’t even have a provisional licence. Six months later he finally acquired said licence. That was a year ago and I’m still chauffeuring him around. I don’t mind most of the time but with all those Christmas parties coming up…….

The weird thing is that he loves cars. He’s a huge F1 fan, has every driving game imaginable for his PS2 and the PC, looks longingly at cars in the street and drools over them but still can’t d
rive one himself.

Failing you delivering on this wish, Santa, I’m going to have to teach him myself and that could lead to divorce.

8 Think of all the fun I've missed, Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed, Next year I could be oh so good, If you'd check off my Christmas list...

Oh, alright so I’ve had quite a lot of fun and the reason I haven’t kissed more fellas is because I got married but that’s not to say there haven’t been opportunities….so on balance I’ve been pretty good so could you get me another pair of hands?

Ok, so God did a pretty good job when he designed humans, could have made the male genitalia a little more aesthetically pleasing and found a more efficient means of gestation but on the whole – job well done. But, I could really do with another pair of hands. How many times a day do I say this? When the phone rings whilst I’m cooking the dinner. When my boss asks me if I could possibly just answer this query before I leave tonight. When I’m wrapping Christmas presents and I need to cut a piece of sellotape whilst simultaneously holding down the corner of the paper so it doesn’t spring away. When I’m trying to eat breakfast, dry my hair and iron a shirt and I’m already 10 minutes late for work.
That extra pair of hands would be really – wait for it – handy! Hahaha.

Think about it, driving and eating a bar of chocolate/talking on the telephone/changing the CD would be much safer. Mothers – pushing a pram, holding a toddlers hand and carrying a bag of shopping – a doddle. Carrying heavy objects and opening doors – no more balancing those piles of files on your knee and opening the door with your chin. I’m sure you can think of loads of reasons yourself, Santa, what with all those presents to deliver, the elves to keep working and the reindeers to control.

<
br>7 Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's, not a lot. I've been an angel all year...

Still, I live miles from the sea and my father-in-law has a boat in Cornwall that we can go out on whenever we like so on second thoughts could you arrange for me to earn an income for running my website and writing stories and reviews?

I would love to be able to give up my “day-job” and make a living from the website I run for writers and from writing itself. Not likely to happen but probably more chance than winning the lottery, which is my other hope for never having to work again.


6 Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed to a platinum mine, Santa cutie...

Or, failing that, could you arrange to lay a self cutting lawn in my garden?

I love gardening, our new house has a huge garden and I’ve got loads of plans for it. I’ve discovered, however, that I hat cutting the grass. And we’ve got lots of it. I love looking out on a newly cut lawn, I love the smell of fresh cut grass – but pushing that mower up and down, no thank you.

I have considered getting a sheep, the manure would come in handy for fertilising my organic garden, we’d get milk and wool from it and it would fulfil that dream I’ve always had of being Felicity Kendall. My hubby suggested astro-turf but that certainly doesn’t fir with my idea of an organic wildlife haven in our back garden. The alternative, I suppose, is just to let it grow and tell everyone we’re cultivating a flower meadow to provide a haven for vanishing flora and fauna.

Personally, I think I’m going to have to bribe my hubby to cut the grass whilst I get on with the interesting garden jobs.

Oh, and if you could let the reindeer graze out there whilst you're visiting that would help - if they want to give me a present I can always do with more manure on the vegetable pa
tch.

5 Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks sign your 'X' on the line...

But if you can’t manage that then I’ll take a Brownie instead.

If you'd been a Brownie Guides you'd know the story of The Brownie, you could always ask the elves I guess but I'll tell you my version anyway.

The Brownie is a species of “little folk”, cousins to your workers, the elves, I believe. This particular little chaps speciality is coming into a house before the people are awake and doing all the housework. He would sweep the floors, polish the shoes, make the breakfast etc etc.

I want one. I don’t think I need to explain.

4 Come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations bought at Tiffany's ...
And while you’re there if you could just leave a teleporter under it.

I love to travel. No, let me rephrase that. I love to visit interesting, exciting, out of the way places in the world. I actually gave up my job and became a temp in order to take time off to go to these places. So far I’ve been to Egypt, Turkey, West of Ireland and a lot of continental Europe. Top of my “still to see” list are The Himalayas and South America.

However, I’m severely hampered in this plan of exploration by the fact that I have a flying phobia. It’s not simply that I don’t like flying or that I’m a little uneasy on planes. We’re talking full scale panic attacks, cancelled holidays because I just couldn’t face getting on the plane and complete incapacitation once aboard. I’ve tried hypnotherapy, alcohol and tranquillisers but my main weapon against the fear is denial.

As long as I don’t see the plane whilst I’m boarding, don’t look out of the window, keep my personal stereo turned up and my nose in a book I can pretend I’m not there. The longest flight I
’ve been on to date is 5 hours to Egypt and I was pretty much at the end of my tether then. Any longer aboard and I think I would have started screaming and running up and down the aisles.

Actually I probably wouldn’t be running because I can’t actually put my feet on the floor in the plane – I have to rest them on my hand luggage on the floor – and also I won’t take my seatbelt off. My mother was horrified when I told her I didn’t know what an aeroplane loo was like because I couldn’t get out of my chair to go. “You can’t go that long without going to the toilet!” Believe me. I can.

So a teleporter would be the answer to my prayers. Instant arrival at whichever far-flung destination I like with none of the pacing up and down in the terminal practising my deep breathing exercises or weeks of building panic prior to the journey. Travel without the actual travelling! Marvellous.

3 I really do believe in you let's see if you believe in me...

And, if you do, you could give me an extra hour in bed.

It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get in a night, I always wake up needing just another hour. I’m a very heavy sleeper, I’m good at it. I enjoy it. I could sleep for England.

One of my friends, after spending a week sleeping next to me in a tent told everyone that I didn’t so much sleep as go into a small coma for the night. I personally believe that in a former life I was a cat and I retain a cat’s requirement for sleep. Or possibly a mouse, or something that hibernates, as I always seem to need more sleep as winter approaches.

My family and friends will all tell you that I don’t actually wake up until I’ve been out of bed for at least an hour. Until that point I shamble round the house in a semblance of being awake, answering questions with grunts and scowling at anyone being remotely cheerful. So, f
or the sake of my husband, I really need that extra hour.

2 Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring, I don't mean a phone Santa baby...

No, actually, you’re ok ‘cos my hubby got me a couple of really special rings this year so I’d prefer a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Hello. I’m Wendy and I’m a chocoholic. I freely admit to it but I don’t really see it as a problem. Chocolate is good for you – there have been loads of studies that prove it. It’s good for your heart, your wellbeing and most of all – it tastes absolutely scrummy.

Chocolate contains essential minerals such as iron, calcium, magnesium and potassium, as well as vitamins A. B1, B2, C, D, and E. In fact, quality chocolate (when it has a high concentration of cocoa) is increasingly being recognised as an excellent source of minerals that are hard to find elsewhere. Chocolate has been called an antidepressant, stimulant, euphoriant, and even an aphrodisiac

I’m something of an aficionado of chocolate, I much prefer the very dark, very high cocoa content variety to the poor excuse for chocolate that graces most sweetshop shelves in this country. The higher the cocoa content the better it is for you as well. Those Mayas knew a lot and they treated chocolate with reverence. It was made into a drink for special religious ceremonies. I still do that myself actually, the consuming of chocolate itself being akin to a religious experience.

I’m not a snob though and will happily devour a Twirl or Flake if there’s nothing else around. Green & Black’s “Maya Gold” is my absolute favourite however so a lifetime supply of that would be heaven.

1 Long life, health & happiness

OK so, strictly speaking, that’s three wishes but I can try! After all I want to be able to enjoy all my other wishes for as long as possible don’t I – o
h and if you could guarantee the same for my family and friends so I can share it all with them that would be great.

...and hurry down the chimney tonight


Thanks

Wendy

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