Go on, fill my stockings! (My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist)

Member Name: gothiron

Product:	My Top 10 Christmas Wishlist
Date:	15/11/01 (123 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It might happen, It shows that I'm not THAT materialistic

Disadvantages: not all likely to be achieved, Family members may never speak to me again (hang on that's an advantage surely!), Shows what a whinger I really am

I take it as read that the major things like war, famine, cruelty, racism, poverty, disease, abuse in any form etc would be things that I would wish to vanish so I'm selfishly going to use my 10 Wishes for me - welcome my own, very selfish and non altruistic Top Ten Wish List.

No1. I Wish That?. Selected Family Members would pack it up!
This has to be tactfully done to protect the innocent - (well actually to protect me in case they read this op). I come from a small family but married into a big one and it seems that size really doesn't matter when it comes to petty grudges, personal slurs and plain unpleasantness. Biting your lip, turning the other cheek and making allowances all seem to apply to me and not the extended hordes that are my relatives. I have to enthuse that the present they have got me is just what I've always wanted (whilst mentally editing that to "That will look nice in Oxfam's window") as I've been brought up to be polite, whilst they can make the comment "but of course I won't be using it" and I'm meant to refrain from getting the hump. My wish is not that they are all suddenly nice to me, but rather that I had the ability to turn them to frogs when they are particularly vile.

No.2 I wish that Personalised Number Plates on Cars were made illegal
Why not just have "PRAT" and have done with it. Ok you have enough money to get a personalised number plate, great - then why don't you do something constructive with it, do people really think that having BOB 2 or B1G AL makes the rest of us green with envy. And no this doesn't stem from the fact that my "new style" number plate looks like its been constructed from those letters you couldn't sell. A crown nomination for someone who can make a good mnemonic for KJZ!

No.3 I Wish That Underwired bras were properly made

I've lost count of the times that I've t
hought I've developed alien tendencies and grown a metal antenna from my armpit. Bra manufactures must work on the same principle as light bulb ones, that is that if you make it too good it won't get replaced and profits will fall. So Wish No. 3 Double stitch the seams, glue the damn things in place, only please stop me being pinched in the arm by a metal spike after three months wear. Plus it will save the embarrassment of getting the washing machine bloke out to investigate a grinding noise only to have him fish out said article with a smirk !

No4. I wish that goods didn't take 28 days for delivery
I can buy something on Ebay from the States, pay $5 for shipping and it's with me within four days. I buy something from a magazine and I'm luck to see it arrive in the same month. It's time that companies realised that on-line competition will wipe them out purely because they seem able to deliver items within acceptable timescales. Maybe I could advise said companies that payment will be 28 days as well. So Wish No.4 Good Customer Service!

No.5 I wish that people wouldn't use using long words in an effort to impress!
I have one of these at work. He prides himself on his knowledge of the English language and is on a personal crusade to make three syllable words compulsory and considers it a personal affront if he doesn't get asked to explain the meaning of some obscure word within a report. Whilst I'm all for a good vocabulary, variety of expression etc, etc, I do try to ensure that I don't exclude two thirds of my audience by using archaic, elaborate and generally noncey words. To get "triumvirate and oleaginous" in one sentence was a bit too much for me. Or do I just suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?


No.6 I wish that I had more confidence
Low self esteem and a lack of confidence have probably been the reasons why things have gone wrong
in my life. I am gradually addressing this issue through self-help books (watch out for the Gael Lindenfael ops coming soon) but if I could have the confidence not to have to double check arrangements, always assume that anything I do will go wrong and that anything that does go wrong is my fault. So please a dollop of confidence would be much appreciated.

No.7 I wish that I get a Terry's White Chocolate Orange as a Christmas Present
It's a simple enough wish in my opinion, but will it materialise? Will it heck!

No.8 I wish that I get a stack of good books for presents
Quite likely to happen as my sister comes up trumps most year with a historical biography - forget the soaps on a rope, a book token would do me. The second best birthday present I ever had from my husband was my choice of five books from a London bookshop and then I spent the afternoon at Regent's park reading them. Bliss.

No.9 I wish that West Ham would win their Christmas and New Year's Fixtures
The fixtures being Derby, Liverpool and Leeds - please Santa, that nice Mr Roeder needs the nine points more than their managers. Being a season ticket holder along with my mum means that my Boxing is likely to go rapidly downhill if it contains a 0-5 scoreline.

No.10 I wish that the person who works with me wasn't moving away (but wish her all the best!)
It's been a real pleasure to work this person, who introduced me to the delights of Dooyou, reminded me of how good Ebay is and in addition has been so supportive when things have been pretty naff. It has made work fun knowing that someone else appreciates my odd sense of humour, doesn't think that I have a weird accent and agrees that Ms Combat Nipples is a bit of a cow! So my final wish is - have a good life and I hope you get everything you wish for too!

and the bonus wish of course is everyone else get what they want as well!

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