A cock (up) at Christmas? (Tips On How To Cook The Perfect Christmas Dinner)

Member Name: nikkisly

Product:	Tips On How To Cook The Perfect Christmas Dinner
Date:	03/12/01 (2649 review reads)
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A few years ago, I found myself "indisposed" over Christmas. To be more precise, confined to the sofa with one leg stuck in the air throughout the entire holiday period, leaving Mr nikkisly and my father jointly responsible for cooking the Christmas Dinner. Between them they did all the necessary shopping - separately. They each bought a joint of beef and several pounds of Stilton cheese. No vegetables or potatoes, no crackers - either the kind that go bang, or the kind that go with a surplus of Stilton. Not even a Christmas pudding! Their combined efforts in the kitchen produced a very non-traditional Christmas Dinner (not to mention vast quantities of black smoke and some very unseasonal bad language). However, it also gave them a valuable insight into the amount of effort that goes into producing 'the perfect Christmas' year after year and, most importantly, allowed me to lower my standards somewhat for subsequent Christmases. Because, I can honestly say that it was the most stress free Christmas I have ever experienced. There were no expectations and therefore no one was surprised or disappointed when things didn't turn out a la Delia Smith.

We had sufficient time on Christmas Day to relax and enjoy opening our presents without disappearing into the kitchen every three minutes to rescue something that was either boiling over or boiling dry. We didn't over indulge and consequently spend the afternoon and evening either with chronic indigestion or asleep. When all's said and done, Christmas Dinner is only a meal. It's a glorified Sunday roast, the kind that people rustle up every week without a second thought. The only way that Christmas Dinner differs is in the amount of pressure that the cook feels to get it right.

The first step is careful planning. Round about now, you should be thinking about your meat if you're planning a carnivorous Christmas - making sure that your turkey, beef or whatever you're
having is ordered, either from your local butcher, farm shop or supermarket and getting confirmation of the order in writing. About a week before the big day, take a quiet hour with a pen and paper to plan everything in more detail. Look at your invited guests - are any of them vegetarian or do they have other special dietary requirements? Decide on your timetable for the day. Do you need to fit the meal around attending church, waiting for visitors to arrive from afar or even watching a special television programme? Plan to serve Dinner at a particular time and, if you like, make up a timetable.

Step two involves yet more planning and more writing things down. Decide on your menu. Most people consume a whole week's calorie requirements on Christmas Day (and frequently suffer the consequences of excessive eating and drinking) so don't prepare vast quantities of food. In the unlikely event of your guests feeling hungry after leaving the table, they will have the perfect excuse to fill up on chocolates, nuts, dates and the sort of assorted goodies that you find lying around the house in abundance over the festive season.

Make a detailed shopping list, course by course, making absolutely sure that you have all the ingredients necessary for your chosen starter, main course and pudding. Check things like custard powder, sugar, stock cubes, foil and of course all the basics like bread, milk, eggs, coffee and tea. At the same time, look at the Christmas table. Do you need tablecloths, serviettes, crackers or candles? Do you have enough wineglasses, crockery and cutlery for all your invited guests? Do you remember where the carving knife and fork are? Decide on wine and, of course, non-alcoholic alternatives for children, drivers and teetotallers. And begin to clear space in your fridge and freezer.

I usually do all my food shopping on 23rd December, as early as possible in the morning to avoid the crowds. Then, on Christmas Eve, I do a
s much preparation in advance as I possibly can, delegating jobs whenever possible.

If I am using a frozen turkey, I place it somewhere out of reach of the cat to thoroughly defrost. Then, my next job is to prepare the sauces. Cranberry sauce is made by boiling fresh cranberries in orange juice with a generous dash of port (optional) until a thick, gloopy consistency is achieved. I then sweeten with sugar to taste, place the sauce in a sauceboat and refrigerate. Bread sauce involves gently boiling half a finely chopped onion in milk to which a bay leaf, a few cloves and a grating of fresh nutmeg has been added. Once the onion has softened, I remove the cloves and bay leaf (making sure I've counted the cloves in, then counted them out again) then add pieces of white bread from which I've removed the crusts, stirring well. Again, when I have a thick, gloopy sauce, I stick it in a sauceboat in the fridge.

In the afternoon, I prepare all the vegetables. (I try to cook a variety of vegetables, allowing only a small quantity of each per person.) I peel and slice the carrots, cut crosses into the bottom of my Brussels sprouts and broccoli and scrub my new potatoes. I then place them all into a steamer, in a saucepan with about an inch of cold water in the bottom. I start with the potatoes, which take the longest to cook so need to be nearest the steam, followed by the carrots, sprouts then finally the broccoli, pop a lid on the saucepan and forget about it until thirty minutes before I'm ready to serve the meal. I make sure I have white wine chilling and red wine warming to room temperature and even make up a tray with coffee cups, sugar, teaspoons, milk/cream jug, brandy and glasses and after dinner mints. I also lay the table, since Christmas Eve catering is an informal affair at our house - usually a cold buffet of honey roasted gammon with new potatoes and salad, followed by trifle and fresh fruit salad, with mince pies to fill up any odd
corners.

Sorry, I was preparing vegetables before I got distracted by Christmas Eve, wasn't I? I peel the roast potatoes, cut them to size and place them in a bowl of cold water. And I make sure that I have an adequate supply of frozen peas - yes, frozen peas. To my mind they're one of the few vegetables that are as good frozen as fresh. Finally, I make my starter. If it's soup, I leave it in the saucepan overnight, if it's a chilled starter such as melon balls in ginger syrup, I put it in the fridge. (Make sure you turn your fridge up a little to cope with chilling large quantities of food quickly.) If you are planning on serving things like custard or gravy, you can make these in advance too - or at least, half make them. I mix custard powder, sugar and milk in a saucepan, cover it and leave it ready to heat on Christmas Day. I do the same with gravy, mixing stock cubes, cornflour, a little water and a generous dash of port and leaving them in a mixing jug overnight. (Providing you stir both custard and gravy well before heating, they will be fine.) I make up bacon rolls and prick some chipolata sausages with a fork, place them in a shallow ovenproof dish, cover with clingfilm and refrigerate them. And I also make and refrigerate my stuffing balls.

On Christmas Day itself, having decided at what time I want to serve dinner, I work backwards from that time according to the weight of my turkey. (So, if I need to cook the turkey for four hours, and I want to eat at 1.00 p.m. the turkey must go into the oven at 9.00 a.m.). I always use my grill pan (which has removable handles) for roasting the Christmas turkey. Having removed the giblets and washed the turkey inside and out, I stick half an onion and half a lemon where the sun don't shine! I place about half an inch of water in the bottom of the grill pan, then brush the turkey all over with a mixture of melted butter and vegetable oil. I then turn the turkey breast side down a
nd place it on the wire tray in the grill pan, covering it with foil, stick it in the oven and get on with opening my presents.

Two hours before D-time, I drain the water from my 'roast' potatoes, stick them in a shallow oven proof dish into which I've placed a little vegetable oil, rolling them so that they are evenly coated and seasoning them with a little sea salt. As I place them in the oven, I check to see that the juices from the turkey haven't overflowed the grill pan. Finally, I place my Christmas pudding in a large saucepan of water, open the kitchen window and leave the pudding to boil away while I get back to the pressies.

One hour before D-time, I peel and prepare parsnips and stick them in the Christmas pudding water (which, of course, I've topped up regularly from the kettle throughout) for about 15 minutes. While I'm waiting for them to par-boil, I treat myself to a solitary mug of tea and a crafty ciggie (although you might prefer a glass of wine, either with or without the ciggie - the permutations are endless.) Tea finished, I put the parsnips in with the roast potatoes, coating them well with oil and also place the stuffing balls (in a dish with a little vegetable oil) into the oven. At this stage, I place my sauces on the table to warm to room temperature.

30 minutes before D-time, everyone is banned from the kitchen. I put the chipolata sausages and bacon rolls into the top of the oven, although you can of course grill them at the last moment if you prefer. (They need to be turned once during cooking). If I'm serving a cold starter, I place it on the table to lose the ice cold fridge sensation. Unless I'm serving a sparkling wine, I also open the bottles at this stage. I switch the new potatoes, carrots, sprouts and broccoli on to steam, put plates, vegetable dishes and a carving dish into the bottom of the oven and, while I'm doing that, I remove the turkey. I check that it is cook
ed, decant the water and juices from the grill pan into the gravy, then turn the turkey breast up and remove the foil for the last twenty minutes of cooking.

10 minutes before D-time, I give my guests a toilet warning - dinner will be ready in five minutes (!) so, if they need to go and wash their hands, now's the time. I heat the soup, (if I'm serving it) and also make up a thermos jug of strong, black coffee which I put onto the prepared tray, filling the milk/cream jug at the same time.

I remove the turkey from the oven and place on the meat dish to relax, again making sure the cat is excluded from the kitchen. Then I serve and eat my starter with my guests.

That finished, I go back to the kitchen, put the frozen peas onto boil and finish making the gravy which I pour into a serving jug. I arrange stuffing, sausages and bacon rolls around the turkey, then take it, with the heated plates into the dining room where Mr Nikkisly carves. Meanwhile, I place the vegetables onto serving dishes, and carry them from kitchen to dining room, allowing guests to serve themselves as they receive their plates of turkey.

Next, the Christmas pudding. If you are making custard, do it now, although we prefer a generous helping of clotted cream which is far less trouble for the cook, so is to be encouraged. I turn the pudding out onto a warmed dish, douse it with brandy and apply a match. I then sprint from kitchen to dining room hopefully before the flames go out. (Experience has taught me that setting fire to your blouse with the backdraft, melting your bra and spending Christmas afternoon in A&E is NOT a good idea!)

Finally, we relax in the lounge with our coffee, brandy and after dinner mints. And, as is our Christmas tradition, the cook is excused all washing up duties.

Hopefully, by a combination of forward planning and pre-preparation, things should run smoothly, but if by chance they don't, then at least y
ou will have something to laugh about at Christmases to come. (My mothers' liquid Christmas cake was a talking point for many years.) Relax...enjoy...chill out. (It's just another meal, right?) And, of course, have a very Happy Christmas!

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