Weapon Of Mass Destruction (Garden Fertilisers, Pest Control and Herbicides in general)

Member Name: kenjohn

Product:	Garden Fertilisers, Pest Control and Herbicides in general
Date:	19/07/04 (321 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Very effective Weapon of Mass Destruction

Disadvantages: Has to be used with care

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THE ANT GAZETTE
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Dateli ne: Tuesday 13th July 2004

Reports have been received from our roving reporters of a horrific attack on the Irish ant community that took place on two consecutive days, Sunday 11th and Monday 12th July 2004.

A large and thriving ant colony in the environs of the Dublin suburb of Walkinstown has been practically wiped out in a demonic onslaught by a human being of unknown origin who goes by the pseudonym of ?the mad cabbie?. This human has been identified as the same person who savagely attacked another colony of peaceful, law-abiding ants in the same garden during the summer of 2003, spraying them with the deadly ant poison ?Bio Ant Kill Plus?.

This most recent attack was of a most dastardly nature, and once again weapons of mass destruction were employed, (WMD?s) despite the fact that the nest contained many young and pregnant ants.
The worker ants were going about their daily business with their usual vigour, and as well as successfully invading the garden environment and the surrounding patio area, had even made some inroads into the hitherto unexplored territory of the kitchen sink and larder. This unprecedented achievement was made possible by the sterling work of our scout ants, who spotted a small cavity in the surrounding wall large enough to give unfettered access to the kitchen.

On returning to the cracks in the garden path that led to the nest entrance, the worker and scout ants were horrified to discover dead and dying ants littering the walkway. After further investigation they came across an odour free white powder, which appeared at first glance to be harmless.
Regular readers of this newspaper will recall the amazing discovery we recently reported by an enterprising nest of ants in the 
6;allsbridge area of the city, where a similar white powder was found littering the glass table in the living room area of a house they had infiltrated. On carrying it back to the nest they found it had truly amazing properties, especially when ingested through the nose! Thinking that this new white powder would prove equally efficacious in inducing a euphoric state, several of the worker ants immediately pounced on it, partaking of it freely.
Far from inducing a happy party mood however, this new white powder instead proved almost instantly fatal!

Totally horrified by the discovery of this new WMD, the remaining worker and scout ants immediately sought refuge with a nearby colony of marauding snails.
Here they were told that even the peace loving snail community had not escaped the attentions of this savage human calling himself the mad cabbie. On a nightly basis he attacks them without mercy with yet another weapon in his deadly arsenal called salt, which leads to a slow and lingering death!
The brave ants then effected an escape to a neighbouring garden, where scouts had reported the human owner had been seen vacating the premises, and immediately began the long and arduous task of re-establishing and repopulating their decimated community.

We publish this report as a warning to any unwary ants in the Dublin area that have not yet come into contact with this merciless human called the mad cabbie.
Avoid his premises at all costs, and report back to this newspaper if you see him talking to any other humans in the surrounding area, lest he is selling them his deadly secret weapons.

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~ ~ I couldn?t resist a little bit of fun when writing my review of this product, a very effective insecticide called ?Doff?s Ant Killer?.
Some dooyoo members may recall that I wrote a review last summer on a product called ?Bio Ant
Kill Plus?, a liquid insecticide I had found very effective in killing of the pesky ants that had invaded my garden. Well, this year they decided to wreak their revenge, and returned in even greater numbers than last summer, literally crawling out of practically every little nook and cranny in my patio, and even managing to find their way into the kitchen. (Through the ventilation vent is my best guess.)

~ ~ My better half (a keen gardener) was visiting the local garden centre, and I asked her to replenish our stock of ?Bio Ant Kill Plus?. Instead, she returned with this white powder called ?Doff?s Ant Killer?, which comes in a plastic cylinder containing 300g of the pesticide. It has a shake top, rather like a large saltcellar, and all that is required is to shake it liberally around the cracks and runways that the ants use. The effect is practically instantaneous, and after only two days there wasn?t a nasty wee creepy crawly to be found anywhere in the garden!

~ ~ The active ingredient in the powder is called ?permethrin?, which is not only effective in controlling and killing ants, but can also be used on a variety of other pests such as cockroaches, earwigs, and woodlice. It?s also the active ingredient in many preparations used to control lice in children?s (and adult?s) hair, but I wouldn?t recommend that you use this particular product for that purpose!
As with all pesticides and insecticides, there are dire warnings on the container about how to use it safely, and about what to do if you accidentally get it on your skin, or worse, in your eyes or mouth. You shouldn?t use it near a fishpond or a river, because as well as killing ants and other creepy crawlies, this stuff is also deadly to fish.

~ ~ The product is made by an old family owned business based in Hucknall, Nottinghamshire, called Doff Portland Ltd, who hav
e grown from humble beginnings to become the largest independent manufacturers of insecticides, weed killers, and other pesticides in the UK.
We paid ?5.99 for the 300g container, and after two liberal uses it?s still about half full, and our ant problem appears to have disappeared. It?s available in most garden centres, hardware shops, or on the Web, and comes with a strong recommendation from the mad cabbie. (But ALWAYS use it with care, and follow the instructions on the container)

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© KenJ July 2004

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