Take My Bladder - Please! (Cystitis)

Member Name: Ophelia

Product:	Cystitis
Date:	03/07/02 (5218 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Why is there a box here? None, of course none!!!

Disadvantages: Pain, discomfort, more of the aforementioned

Until you have known the nagging discomfort that accompanies cystitis you have no idea how agonising it can be. Those of you without wombs will probably be lucky enough to escape this condition but, beware, it is possible for men to be struck down with the infection and then you will suffer, and know what hardships life can bring to a woman (you can't hear the bitterness in my voice can you?).

CYSTITIS

This condition occurs when the protective lining of the bladder is broken down by toxins, causing the bladder to become inflamed and tender. The infection is more common in the over 40s, although 25% of sufferers are under 30. 10% of sufferers are male (a bit like the Lottery - it could be you!).

SYMPTOMS

· A constant need to go to the loo but when you arrive, to your absolute annoyance, there is but a drop waiting to be loosed into the porcelain bowl.

· Pain or a strange tingling sensation while urinating.

· Cloudy or smelly urine

· Blood in urine

· Pelvic pain

A quick glance at the symptoms might have you thinking, 'What is this woman making a fuss about? I've had worse hangovers than that'. However, the sensation of needing to urinate is constant and pressing and eventually takes over all your thoughts until you become obsessed with spending all your time in the smallest room in the house.

The discomfort is so acute that it can stop you from sleeping or wake you during the night. The rest of your waking hours the pain just causes you to be damned miserable.

CURE

While suffering from cystitis the pH of the bladder shifts to being too acidic and if this balance can be redressed the infection may pass. Bicarbonate of soda can be dissolved in a glass of water and swallowed (I recommend holding your nose whilst doing so and, whatever you do, don't think about vomiting!). The bicarb is an alkali and will help to pull your bladder back
from the brink of acid overdose!

However, I have to say that this has rarely been successful in my experience. Often, after feeling only the tiniest of twinge and fearing that an attack may be on the way, I have swallowed copious amounts of disgusting bicarb, which seems determined to act as an emetic but has little effect on the cystitis.

Products can be purchased at the chemists that claim to cure cystitis, which consist of a course of powder sachets that must be added to water and drunk. These products normally cost around £5.00 and are a massive con. If you scrutinise their ingredients you will see that they are made up of nothing more than sodium bicarbonate and citrus flavouring. You are paying huge sums of money for a product that you could make yourself from ingredients costing 59 p at your local supermarket. And (see above paragraph) it doesn't cure the infection!

The only real cure is to go to your local surgery and beg the receptionist to let you see someone as soon as possible. The doctor will probably carry out a quick urine test to see if you are indeed infected and will then prescribe you antibiotics! It is usual to have a course of two tablets per day for a period of three days and this is normally completely successful in eradicating the dreaded cystitis. The doctor may also send your urine off to the laboratory for a full test, so that they can ascertain that they have prescribed the correct antibiotic for the infection.

After taking the antibiotics an improvement can often be felt within hours, although it will take a few days for all the symptoms to disappear completely.

RELIEVING SYMPTOMS

If you can't get to your doctor or you can?t bear the pain whilst you are waiting for the drugs to take their effect you will want to ease that need to urinate and the stinging that accompanies it.

Drinking lots and lots of water will help. At least when you make your twentieth tri
p to the loo in one morning you will find that you do actually need to go! This also helps to flush out the infection and if you have only got a very mild dose it may actually eradicate it.

Bearing in mind that your insides will be sloshing about with what sounds like the Pacific Ocean, you probably won't have much room for more liquid. However, as much as you might like to drown your sorrows, you must cut out the alcohol. Alcohol aggravates the condition and makes things a whole lot worse (at this point I could tell you a tale which would be better found in the Embarrassing Moments category - I may be open to bribes from the curious).

A hot water bottle on the tummy does wonders, especially if contained in one of those cuddly Eeyore hot water bottle covers (the cover is purely psychological). The heat soothes the nagging feeling in your bladder and for a while you can forget that you feel like you need to dash up and down the corridor to the little girls' room like a thing possessed.

PREVENTION

Ensuring that the conditions within your bladder remain alkaline will help to keep cystitis away. Fear not though, I am not going to make you drink sodium bicarbonate every day. Cranberry juice works equally as well, as a preventative measure and if you don't want to waste a couple of hundred calories of your daily intake of food (and, let's face it, it could be better spent on ice cream, chocolate or booze), then cranberry tablets are now available.

The next bit of advice will probably go down like an empty packet of condoms at an orgy but I am afraid that you are going to have to cut out tea and coffee and cola. All caffeine is a no no! This really does seem to make a difference; bravely and in desperation at this recurring infection, I once gave up the glorious bean and, despite suffering from hideous cold turkey, the bouts of cystitis disappeared.

Now, I don't want to teach my grandmoth
er to suck eggs (or in this case, teach her to wipe her ass) but bathroom hygiene is very important. Infections can be passed to the urethra from the anus (I use the biological terms but it still sounds rude!). Always, always, always wipe from front to back (even if you have only been for number 1s). As an addition precaution, if you have the time and the energy, you can douche after every bowel movement.

If you contract thrush (men - it's okay for you to have blank expressions, this is another delight you probably won't encounter), ensure that it is treated swiftly. If thrush is left untreated it can then make your life a greater misery by causing cystitis.

Whenever you pass water ensure that you have fully emptied your bladder. Give a little extra squeeze even when you think you have evacuated everything! Wait 1 minute and then wee again, you will be surprised to find that there is a tiny dribble left - and we don't want that hanging around your bladder causing infections, do we?

Finally (and this one takes a bit of getting used to and can be a bit of a moment spoiler) urinate before and after making love. You may find that you do not have enough liquid to do both (unless you have been drinking gallons of water per day, as instructed), in which case ensure that you wee after sex - even if it is in the middle of the night!

PAIN IN THE BUM

(Well, more like a pain in the bladder, actually).

Those of you who have suffered this will know how painful and disrupting this infection can be. Men - imagine that your urethra has been blocked and yet you are desperate to go to the loo. That is a bit what the feeling is like. Then, once you actually manage to squeeze some urine out from that blocked penis of yours, you find that some b*st*rd has slashed your insides with a knife, or that is how it can feel anyway!

Hope that was vivid enough for you. Well, if I'm suffering then I have to fi
nd someone to suffer with me.

Remember, prevention is better than cure. I had cut out the caffeine, I used to take cranberry tablets every day and then I just got bored of it all, as it seemed so pointless and a few months later, here I am writing an opinion on cystitis with a hot water bottle on my tum and antibiotics in hand. Be warned.

I'm off cranberry picking now.

Summary: