Wanna have a MMMMMmmmmmmassage? (Massage)

Member Name: Pookypop

Product:	Massage
Date:	06/06/01 (1087 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Scrummy, Sexy, Fun

Disadvantages: Can have tiny side-effects

Okay Let's look at Massage - it's funny the way some people still conjure up lovely images of those dodgy lil' "massage" parlours down some crummy down-town side-street, but there is a lot more to massage than sexual benefits and quick thrills (honest!).
:)

I'm officially qualified to give massages and set up my own (undodgy) little parlour thingy of my own (sounds good huh?). Massage is used for a number of reasons:

O Relaxation
O Stress relief
O Muscular tension relief
O To help drain the tissues of harmful toxins
O Fun
o The sexy bits of course!!!

First of all, if you decide to have a massage at a salon, etc, always make sure that you go to a reputable place where they interview you first (this is completely normal, for your own good and is kept completely confidential). Anyway - enough of the boring stuff already...

Once that bit's done you'll be asked to remove your clothes until you get to your grotty Wednesday knickers/boxers and get on the massage table (ladeez may be asked to take their bra off or at least undo the straps for the back massage). You'll be covered with a nice clean and fluffy towel and then massaged into relaxation (at least if the massaging person knows what they're doing - which they should.

Anyone can do massage at home as well - jus be careful because you can totally cripple someone for days if you're not careful (mind you - good revenge plan for ex-partners *evil cackle*)...

A few things you want to avoid:

o Don't massage over recent scars, over areas where an operation has taken place in the last 6 months
o Massaging someone after a full meal (unless you want a pretty pattern on your walls)
o Massaging on the spinal cord
o Using too much pressure (always ask how the person likes it!!!)
o Massaging directly on top of any joints (only go around and stroke over them)

o Use any medium that the person is allergic to (duh!)

But of course you do wanna:

o Keep one hand on the person at all times
o Warm the oil first (unless you want one of those hot/cold sexy massages!)
o Communicate, while not disturbing
o Use nice relaxing background music


There are several mediums you can use to give a massage (although I wouldn't recommend whipped cream - gets kinda sticky - hehe) for example:

o Massage cream - Suitable for any skin type and gives a steadier slip.
o Oil - Suitable for most people with very dry to combination skin.
o Powder - Suitable for hairier people as it doesn't knot the hair, but gives you enough slide to give a good massage.


After having a massage make sure you try and do the following (to gain maximum benefits), although admittedly not many people can be bothered... (like me - tut tut!)

- Drink plenty of water to clear the toxins that were released during the massage.

- Eat light foods for the rest of the day (eg. healthy, not a take-away from the local curry-house).

- Cut down on tea, coffee & alcohol (obvious reasons I guess)

- Avoid smoking (lol)

- Rest so that your body can heal using the surge of energy that many people get after a massage.

Massages are just really fun and relaxing and nice and.... I won't go on.
:)

Basically have fun and by all means incorporate them into your weekly routine (be it in relationships or with friends!!!).

It's all about stimulation, muscular kneading and pounding (hehe).

Have fun with your messy massages,
Pooky

(It is also a very bad idea to massage people with cancer as this can help the spread through the lymph)

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