Life with an alcoholic (My Experience of Alcohol Addiction)

Member Name: MissMeg

Product:	My Experience of Alcohol Addiction
Date:	12/08/08 (162 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Love

Disadvantages: Heart ache

My boy friend is an alcoholic. Or at least, that should now be ex-boyfriend, as he walked out for the umpteenth time ten days ago. I feel very guilty about not talking to him about his problem in the weeks leading up to this. Actually, I feel guilty full stop. I have only come to admit to myself the extent and reality of his addiction in the past two months, previously (we were together three and a half years) I buried my head in the sand and tried to ignore the problem, as this would mean dealing with it. So in a way, I am no bettter than him. In fact right now I think I am possibly worse as I am not the one with the problem and should have at least tried to get him to seek help.

I am very sorry that this is rambling and probably sounds extremely self pitying. I am feeling very confused and emotional about the whole thing as I do not know what to do. He walked out last year too and I didn't hear from him for three months, at which time he got in touch and told me how sorry he was and how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was so overwhelmed with happiness at being back with him that I didn't address his penchant for drinking til comatose (the stronger the better - Super lager, Vodka, JD, Rum). So now, I am trying to deal with the fact that he may have left my life for ever. Or he may turn up again - next week, next month, next year. What to do if he does? My head and my heart say very different things. My head tells me there is only so much of this heart break I can stand. I want a future that doesn't involve watching the man i love drink himself to death. But my heart tells me that the future I want is with him (sober) and that i want to offer him all my love and support in trying to kick the booze. I just don't know anything right now.

Summary: What to do?