Letting go (My Experience of Alcohol Addiction)

Member Name: Ickle Lynnie

Product:	My Experience of Alcohol Addiction
Date:	13/01/09 (94 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Becoming Balanced again

Disadvantages: It breaks my heart

It's so hard to accept that I cannot help my husband to get free of this. All my efforts have just resulted in me becoming more entangled and trapped in the situation and have had no impact on him.

I keep looking for miracles in his life but this obessesion has left me almost as hopeless and desolate and self-obsessed as he is.
2 years ago I freed myself from this situation and left him but fear of what would happen to him if he were left to his own devices drew me back. Now I am where I was before only now more trapped as in order to 'help' him, we now own a house together and are married. I thought that the responsibility and the demonstration of my committment to him would give him a reason to get control of his life again.

There were so many promises made and I so wanted to believe we could have our happy ever after I ignored all the warning signs.

I now know that living with him sober is not an option. I need to live with the drunk or not live with him at all and I hate the drunk.
Either way I can only see pain ahead but I know that I need to put my daughter first.

She at least still has a future.

My strength in the last 2 years has been not to hide what he is but to talk openly about it. It is not my shame and I need the support of others who understand. I have found the US Al anon message board a good support - it's a shame there isn't a UK version as I can't get to our local meeting as it;s in the evening and I can't leave my daughter here with him and Christian Wives of Addicts is an ok site but more based at sexual addictions rather than alcohol.

I am keen to correspond with others though for mutual support and can be contacted on ickle.lynnie@gmail.com

Summary: I can't help him