The hardest review that I have ever wrote in my life (My Experience of Alzheimer's Disease)

Member Name: birdy22

Product:	My Experience of Alzheimer's Disease
Date:	25/04/09 (89 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: There are none at all

Disadvantages: Seeing the one you love die slowly infront of your eyes

This is something that is very close to my heart and is something that I have never been able to talk about. I do not even know if I will be able to manage to get to the end and submit this review but I will try my hardest.

We first noticed that something was wrong with my grandma when I was just 15 years old. We were all in bed one night at home when I heard the phone ring, I then heard my Mam quickly get out of bed and start getting ready. My instant thought was my Grandma. I was always a grandma's girl and was closer to her than I was with my own Mam. Although I love my Mam very much it was my Grandma I wanted when I was poorly or fell oven and hurt myself at school. She never spoilt me, infact I was probably more spoilt by my parents. She was just very loving. Would always tell me she was proud of me. I climbed out of bed and asked Mam through gritted teach and a lump in my throat what was wrong. She explained that my Grandma's next door neighbour had rang to say that she had found her walking down the street in her nightie, dressing gown and slippers. She had managed to get her into the house and had made her a cup of tea but she said she was very distressed. I told my Mam I was going with her and quickly got dressed. That journey to my Grandma's was only 5 minutes but it seemed like a lifetime.

When we arrived she looked very upset and confused, she was muttering something about someone in the loft. we managed to calm her down and get her back into bed. I crawled in beside her and told Mam to go home alone as I was staying.

The next day my head was all over the place. I didn't know anything about Alzheimers at this point with me being only 15 and I thought it was just old age.

We started to go back to normal but I never left my Grandma's house. It was not long before I was due to leave school and my Mam would come for me every morning to take me to school and then took me back to my Grandma's on a night. I never saw my friends or went out, I just stayed in with my Grandma. By this point she was unable to do certain things for herself and I used to have to get her in and out the bath on a night and help her into bed etc. But I enjoyed every moment of it. I never felt like I was missing out on my life or anything like that.

I left school and became my Grandma's carer full time. My parents were not happy about me doing it as they thought I should be out enjoying my life but what they did not realise was that I was already enjoying it. i was where I wanted to be.

Until one night everything changed. I was in bed and started to feel really sick, hot and sweaty and my head was hurting alot. I was sick a few times and then I called my Mam. I told her that I really did not feel well. It was at the time when Meningitus had just really started to get mentioned and everyone was worrying about it so she and my Dad got in the car and came over. My Dad took me to the hospital while my Mam stayed the night at my Grandma's. I was told that I was fine at the hospital and sent home.

A couple of days later I was told the news from my Mam that would completely change all of our lives. Her and my Uncle had decided to put my Grandma into a residential care home. I was devestated, I instantly felt like I had failed her.

After a couple of weeks we got her into one of the best in Durham. It was a lovely old building and everyone there was lovely. She had her own appartment with bedroom, bathroom and living room on the third floor with beautiful country views.

I continued to go and see her every day and I continued to bath her etc as I did not want things to change too much for her. After approx 1 year in there she started to get very aggitated and forgettfull. At first it was just small things but I can always remember the first time she forgot me, that day will stay with me for the rest of my life.

It went downhill from there. Once her own funds ran out for her care she was moved rooms down to the ground floor where all she had was an en suite bedroom. we were told it was so they could keep an eye on her but I have my own feelings about that. Within 5 months we were called to a meeting and told that she could no longer stay there as it was a residential home and she required a nursing home. She had started to become violent to the staff. She used to hit them with her walking stick so they had to take it off her and put her in a wheelchair. Within only a couple of months she had forgot how to walk.

The day she was moved into the mental health part of the new nursing home I knew that it was the beginning of the end for her. She didn't have a clue who I was or who my Mam was but my Mam's brother who visited every once in a while was the greates thing since slice bread and her face lit up everytime she saw him. She knew exactly who he was.

Until this there was never any mention of the word Alzheimer's and I still did not know what it meant or what it was.

She started having bad falls which resulted in hospital treatment being given, each time me and my Mam were by her bedside holding her hand.

By this time I had a child of my own and the home that she was now in was about a 15 minute drive away and one weekend I decided to spend the hole weekend with my son and not go and see her. She died on the Monday night of a stroke. I will never forgive myself for not seeing her and for not giving her a kiss goodbye the last time I saw her (this was due to the fact that she was having a bad episode so for my own safety I choose not to).

Since her death I have learnt alot more about Alzeimer's and what it does. It is the ost common cause of dementia which effects around 417,000 people in the UK. It is a physical disease which effects the brain which leads to the death of brain cells. It is a progressive disease which means that over time the symptoms get worse. There is currently no cure for Alzheimer's disease although there are drugs out there that are available that may slow down the disease.

My Grandma was given these drugs but was later taken off them as we were told that 'she is in the later stages now so there is nothing that can be done and the drug is expensive'.

Alzheimers is not only hard for the sufferer but also for the hole family involved. It is not something that is mentioned much and not alot of fund raising etc is done.

Some people give Alzheimer's the nickname 'the long goodbye' and it is certainly true.

Summary: The long goodbye