How to cope with anxiety (My Experience of Anxiety and Panic Attacks)

Member Name: andyoz

Product:	My Experience of Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Date:	04/06/09 (68 review reads)
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I was browsing through the reviews yesterday when I came across this subject. Now this is something that immediately struck a cord with me. I suffered from panic attacks and severe anxiety as a child through into my teens. It's not something I like to talk about as it brings all those unpleasant memories back to the surface. However when I read a review the other day from a fellow member who still really struggles with these problems, I thought maybe it would be good to share my experiences, and in doing so may be even help people who still struggle with the same problems on a daily basis. So that's what I'm going to do. It won't be fun talking about it, but if I can make one person's life more bearable, it will be well worth the effort.

So I am going to explain the history of my problems, what caused them, what effect they had on me, and probably most importantly how I overcame them. This won't be a short review so bear with me.

***Pangs Of Distress***

Up until the age of ten, I lived a very normal happy childhood. I was part of a loving family, had lots of friends, did well at school and was generally a content little boy. Then everything changed. My first experience of a panic attack was when I was visiting a secondary school on an open evening. I had gone with my parents to have a look round the school as a potential next stop after primary school. I remember not feeling myself that night. I kept having hot flushes, and felt a little faint. Being a ten-year-old boy I had no idea what was wrong. Then about an hour into the evening, when we had gone down several long corridors into the centre of the school, something in my head snapped! I suddenly panicked. I felt I was trapped with no way to escape. I started to pass out, and then started screaming 'I have to get out'. My poor parents had no idea what was wrong but quickly got me out of the building and home.

Over the next few days I was kept off school. My parents were very concerned, not really knowing what was wrong with me or what to do about it. That weekend they took me round to visit my friend, a place I was familiar with and often visited. The plan was to leave me there while they went off to do some shopping. As my parents were leaving the sudden sense of being trapped somewhere returned. Again I panicked, screaming that I didn't want my parents to leave. They didn't and we returned home together. From here on life changed.

***My Prison***

Suddenly I had lost it. This was a full-scale mental breakdown. I could barely leave the house without panicking. I stopped going to school, stopped seeing my friends and was almost constantly confined to the house. Even worse I came to depend upon my mother. So if she was too leave the house I would start to panic, thinking that something might happen to her. This was awful for her as she obviously had things to do. My life suddenly became a series of 'Whatifs'. It sounds silly but I would think, 'what if I'm in a car crash' 'what if the car doors lock and I can't escape', 'what if my mum gets kidnapped whilst she's out'. All very irrational thoughts, but they would constantly spin round my head. When it was evident that things were getting worse and there was no end in sight my parents decided it was time to get some help.

***Here To Help***

A few days later a woman showed up at my house. I think her name was Mrs Woodhouse. She was a child psychiatrist come to help me with my problems. I didn't see her like this. She was an enemy determined to hurl me back into life no matter how much it hurt me or how much suffering it caused. From day one I did not like this woman, but she kept assuring me 'she was here to help'. She came a few times a week, and would encourage me to progress back into normality. She tried very hard with limited success. She diagnosed me with acute agoraphobia, or fear of crowds and confined spaces. This did seem to sum up my problems very well.

Given time I managed to get out the house again, but it was along time before I could return to school. And when I did I would only go for ten minutes at a time, with my mum sat there in class with me. As you can imagine this didn't help me get on with my friends. They did not understand me and didn't really want much to do with me. However with the help of Mrs Woodhouse, little by little I gradually returned to school, gradually started living a more normal life. But still I would struggle with many everyday things.

***Progress***

It took about six months before I was attending school on a regular basis. I never quite got my confidence back and would still find it difficult, but I could manage a full day at school without my mum sat there with me. Other things I had struggled with, for example I'm one of Jehovah's Witness' and we would twice a week attend meetings. For these meetings I would have to sit at the back near the door. I quite often would have to leave half way through, as I was feeling panicky. Other things like going to new places I could not cope with. Going into busy towns, standing in a queue of people or generally anywhere that was a confined space I was not able to deal with. However even with this being the case I was living a relatively normal life.

***Relapse***

Over the next two years I carried on making steady progress. There were still plenty of things I found difficult and needed help with but overall I was doing OK. Then in my second year of secondary school it all went wrong again. It was not quite as bad as the first time round, but suddenly everything was a struggle. I stopped attending school, was not able to go to our meetings, and found life very hard. Again over the next six months I gradually sorted myself out and got back to some sense of regularity. But my confidence was still low, I still struggled with many everyday things, and I was always worried that I could just snap and go right back to square one.

***Taking Stock***

Over the next few years I managed to cope with things pretty well. I got through my school life, did well in my exams and had my entire life ahead of me. At this point when I was about sixteen I remember looking back on my life. I had missed well over a year of school, had missed countless opportunities to experience things and to go places, and had basically missed out on much of my childhood. I was still very limited in the things I could cope with. For example flying on a plane was out the question, going in a lift a no no, at the meetings I attend you have the opportunity to put up your hand and give a comment, I would never be able to accomplish that! But I decided I would plod on with my life, make sure I held it together, and avoid any relapses that would result in another breakdown.

***Triggers***

When I was seeing my psychiatrist there was a lot of talk about triggers. The fundamental cause of ones problems. We never discovered exactly what my triggers were. There were a few little things, such as my friends had moved away, the change of schools soon talking place, and a few other small events, but nothing major. I am sure in many cases a series trigger, the death of a loved one, some illness, marital breakdown etc.. are the actual cause. But as in my case sometimes there is no rational explanation for the way our mind works. It just happens, and instead of looking for the problem, it's far better to work on the solution.

***Who I've Become***

Well all these things took place a long time ago. I am now 28! Life has moved on. And I am amazed at what I have achieved in the past ten years. This may sound like boasting but it just shows what anyone with these serious problems can do. I have been on several long plane flights. I regularly use lifts (although still don't enjoy doing). At out congregation meetings, not only to I give comments, I actually get up on the platform and give fifteen minute talks to over a hundred people! I have performed (music) in front of a crowded club with over 250 people! I can basically do anything I set my mind to.

***Techniques For Coping***

So how have I achieved all this? Well there are several things that help me. To be honest none of it really came from my psychiatrist. OK if your having problems with agoraphobia I recommend watch a film called 'What about Bob?'. This may sound like a very strange thing to suggest but it's all about a man named Bob (Bill Murray) who struggles with all sorts of problems. He is told to take 'baby steps'. This really helped me. So for example your crossing a river, there are some very wobbly wet stones in front of you. Don't look at the far side, don't focus on the final goal, its to far, you will give way to panic. Instead take one small step at a time. Don't worry about what's to come, don't think about the future, just concentrate on the one problem that is confronting you at that particular time. Deal with problems one at a time taking 'baby steps' to deal with the issue! This sounds so simple but for someone with serious anxiety it's a very difficult thing to do!

Another trick is don't think about what you can't do. Think about what you can do, and what you have achieved. I play guitar, and after a few months of learning I was frustrated at my slow progress, I felt I was getting nowhere. Someone suggested I switch hands and try and play left handed, when I did, they told me that's how I used to be when I would play right handed. This showed me what I had achieved. So each time you do something, be proud of yourself, tell yourself how well you are doing. Coping with anxiety is all about confidence, if you build your confidence, you can progress.

Always look to be moving forward. If you achieve something for the first time, tell your self that's it. I've done it. If you climbed a mountain, why would you go all the way back down and start again? You wouldn't! So when you overcome a problem tell yourself 'I can deal with this now'. Don't get worked up about the problem again, you do it once you can do it again!

Don't be afraid of backing off. Know your limitations. Sometimes even now I will try and do something and realise I can't quite make it. Don't let that dishearten you. If you come across a large precipice you might have to back away to get a run up at it. Do the same with your problems, if you feel you're not ready to deal with something, don't! It's better to leave it for a while than to attempt it and fail! Wait till your ready.

As I mentioned earlier confidence is a huge tool you can make use of. When I first got up to do a talk at a meeting I was terrified. But the way I dealt with it (and still do) is by telling myself I'm the greatest speaker there is! Everyone wants to hear what I have to say. I'm better than all these people; I'm the best there is! It may sound like over confidence and you don't want to be like that in life all the time, but as a tool for over coming things it really does work!

***The Future's Bright***

So at 28 I feel like the world is mine for the taking. I have come so far in the last ten years, but even so some things I do still find difficult. But I know that with mind over matter there is nothing I can't accomplish. As long as I'm realistic and don't put to much pressure on myself I know I will be fine.

***What Lies Beneath***

Even though I do feel good about my future, there is always that lurking doubt beneath the surface. I find it hard talking about these things as it does bring it all back up. I try my very best not to dwell on these matters but to cram them down where they can't affect me. As I mentioned thinking about what I can do, what I have accomplished, keeps these fears at bay, and when they occasionally do break free and I do feel somewhat panicky, I know how to deal with the feelings and how to live a happy successful life free from anxiety and panic attacks.


So there you have it. There are loads of details I didn't mention; I would be here all week if I had. But that is my basic story, and how I have come to deal with my problems. If you do suffer from these problems, remember you are not alone, there are millions of people who feel the same and know exactly what your going through. Never give up in your fight, never think 'there are things I will never achieve', with a strong will and some determination, the world can be yours!

Thanks for reading

Summary: This is a horrible illness but can be overcome