Monkey on my back (My Experience of Anxiety and Panic Attacks)

Member Name: Glory_FishesII

Product:	My Experience of Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Date:	08/08/04 (97 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You learn stuff about yourself

Disadvantages: It's a bit cack

*THEN

I have anxiety. We all get anxious from time to time, but I realised there was something wrong with me a three or four years ago when I started getting pains in my chest and losing the feeling down one side of my body. So my GP bundled me off to have a brain scan. They found one hurrah and concluded that I was having a reaction to my contraceptive pill.

All was quiet on the western front, but I found myself getting stressed by slly things such as buses and birds. As the months went by I found myself conciously avoiding more and more situations.

I realised things were getting out of control and sought the help of my GP who finally diagnosed Anxiety Disorder two years ago.

IF ANY OF THE ABOVE STRIKES A CHORD WITH YOU DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SEEK HELP.

* NOW

I am currently on 40 mg of Cipramil. It has taken two years to find a drug that suits me and some of the side effects have been horrible, I won't lie to you, there is no easy way to treat anxiety. It takes time. It is part medication, part understanding.

I don't know if I will ever truly be rid of anxiety, but I do know that it can be lived with and that although it is a very scary thing, it is ultimately just a small part of you as a person.

I have found the following things to be of help to me:

1. FOOD/WATER.

This may sound silly, but yes good ol' food and water have helped me a great deal. I have found that if I skip meals or allow myself to get dehydrated, I will have more panic attacks. I found this out by making a note of my diet and number of panic attacks for a fortnight. You don't have to be obsessive about it... or start avoiding foods you like, you just have to be aware of your triggers.

2. ACCEPTANCE.

The first instinct when you are having a panic attack is to fight it. Don't. Panic attacks are exhausting and scary and it is very easy to start thinking why me... but don&
#
39;t do that. Panic attacks are nasty. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy but reemind yourself that although it might feel like it... they won't kill you. There are people dealing with real threats every day. A panic attack will go away eventually. Let it happen. I tend to visualise a Donnie Darko type light coming out of my chest and turning into a bubble. I see my panic attacks as a form of energy that can be dealt with. This is pretty hard to do when they get so bad that you are vomiting for the twelfth time that day..... but every episode you deal with is a positive step. There is however, nothing wrong with having a bad day, everyone has them, whether they have anxiety or not.

3. BE OPEN.

As I mentioned in my opening , I had the symptoms for a number of years before I would actually admit I had a problem. There is no shame in having anxiety. I went through a process of ''coming out'' to my friends, firstly because I would find myself having to make excuses all the time and that simply isn't me. I would be having attacks and blaming my vomiting on a virus/hangover/food poisoning. It wasn't long before they started to think I had an eating disorder, so when I told them what was going on they were actually relieved. Remember, that people may not understand anxiety , hell I've had it for years and I don't, but if they are truly your friends they will understand that whatever it is, it is an illness that you are dealing with.

Part of my anxiety can include a bit of social phobia about strangers, when things get really bad. If you find yourself having a panic attack in the tea aisle in Tesco's... don't start thinking that people are staring at you... they are probably more preoccupied with their next phone bill or shag.

BLAG TIP :

If you don't feel comfortable telling people yet , you can often get around it by saying a little white lie. If you find yourself in
a tax
i having an attack, just tell the driver you have
asthma and they will open the windows for you.


4. WORK ON YOURSELF.

It would be very easy to disappear up your own backside and become totally insular. I have known people with the same disorder as me who have retreated into self pity and OTT theatricals. Now that doesn't get you anywhere.

You don't have to spend entire days gazing at your navel, I set aside ten minutes a day to ''work on myself''.

This work can include :

1. A cognitive behavioural therapy diary

This is where you challenge negative emotions. For example:

12th Oct

Emotion:

Walked down street. Felt really ugly compared to other women . Had panic attack

Scale:

On a scale of 1-10 how much do I believe that thought. Mark it on a line if you want.


Challenge:

I know I am not ugly because I recieved a compliment last week etc....


Scale:

On a scale of 1-10 how much do I now believe my original thought. Mark it on a line if you want.

I know it all sounds very simplistic and it may also sound a bit pants, but when you realise that anxiety is best friends with negativity, it actually becomes a very important tool and you will gradually find yourself challenging your negative thoughts more and more... eventually without the use of your diary.

2. Rewards.

If you have ''felt the fear and did it anyway'' you deserve a reward. Sometimes being able to do something you haven't done for a long time because of your anxiety is reward enough. This was recently the case when I finally visited the cinema without a major attack. But if you have visited a place or completed a task, sometimes even something as small as buying yourself a chocolate bar can make you feel even better about yourself.

I have found the following books to
be useful in
my understanding of myself and panic attacks:
:

The Road Less Travelled M Scott Peck
Life Strategies Dr Phillip C McGraw
Embracing Uncertainty Susan Jeffers

I hope that my experiences will be of use to someone out there.

Jo xox

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