overcoming depression (My Experience of Depression)

Member Name: ajbluestar

Product:	My Experience of Depression
Date:	24/04/09 (202 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: when you can start thinking positively again

Disadvantages: not wanting to do anything, suicidal thoughts, constant vicious cycle of negative thoughs

After reading about some people's experiences on this site about their battles with depression, I have decided to write my own little piece on my personal battle with this particular illness and how I believe I have mostly overcome it.

I was always a quiet person in school and teachers used to always comment in reports about this, that I was shy and didn't talk up much in class. This was certainly true and I focussed alot on my studies and this worked quite well up until getting to university. The first year I was managing and doing ok and the studies were going ok as well which was really my main focus. After my 2nd year I didn't do as well as I had hoped and starting 3rd year I put myself under pressure to do really well and this is where my anxiety started and led me to having bad moods, constant negative thoughts and finding it difficult to do many things such as eating properly. I did not talk to anyone really about it. I had never really talked to anyone about problems in my life before , I tended to always deal with them mostly on my own and this had worked ok for me up to now. I didn't know what was happenning at the time as I had never heard of the term depression before and I just didnt know what to do. I experienced a panic attack and was taken to hospital while I was with my parents. Again I didn't know what was happening at the time but my heart was beating extremely fast and I had constant negative thoughts.

This continued for a while and I had a few more quite serious panic attacks which led to being taken to hospital.I became quite paranoid and thought people were after me etc and was put on tablets to help with these 'psychotic' thoughts- Still I wasn;t really diagnosed but it was advised I would be taken out of University and try to go back the following year. In between this time I was looked after by my family and I am grateful as otherwise I may have had to be hospitalised. I went back and still the problems were there, the paronoid thoughts were less but the low mood and depressive thoughts were still present. I was able to see a great Psychiatrist when I went back this time though who diagnosed me with severe depressive disorder and put me on anti depressants. I was still very depressed at the time but I felt at last I was getting somewhere. I had not been able to attend any of my classes or lectures so the University advised that I could take another year off and see if I could come back again the following year again to finish my degree which I did accept. In between this time my Psychiatrist advised I should undertake some therapy (Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy) or CBT. This type of therapy was good at trying to change my automatic negative thoughts and try to counteract them with more positive ones. At first this was very hard as I was very depressed and didn;t want to leave the house and was virtually suicidal on a daily basis but it was a good technique which I learnt after a while and still try to use if I feel down even today.

What really helped me through it was joining a football team which had members who were going through similar or even worse problems then I was. This was the real turning point for me as it gave me more of a focus and gave me something to look forward to each week as football was something I really enjoyed and was passionate about. The people in the team and staff members running it were very welcoming and I enjoyed playing there each week. This helped me to grow my confidence and eventually led me to make the decision to try and finish this university course (my third and final year) at the 3rd attempt. My psychiatrist when I went back was suprised to see me but I did go back and I was able to finish the course. One thing that kept me going was the football again as a I joined a group so that I was able to play usually once a week to give myself something to look forward to each week.

I have now come off the medication and don't receive treatment after around 2 years of being on one medication or another. I have started to follow my passion in football even though my course was not in sport and am helping out with a football team working as a community coach at the moment. I don't know whether I will continue with this but I am hopeful of a succesful future now and am a bit more focussed on what's important and that is trying to be healthy and happy.

I am very grateful to all the people that have helped me and would advise people to try and get as much support and help as they can and not to suffer alone. I think I have been quite lucky in the support I received but if you can find one person even who can support and listen to you that can make all the difference and give you the confidence to move forward. Also exercise can be great of any kind which helps to get your mind away from your thoughts and focussed on something else-anything that does this is useful for beating depression!

I hope this has maybe been helpful to someone . Thanks for reading!

Summary: can be beaten with hard work and the right support!