Feeling down (My Experience of Depression)

Member Name: truffellady

Product:	My Experience of Depression
Date:	16/07/09 (15 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: none

Disadvantages: can take over your life

I have suffered from depression from the age of 13, struggling with being over weight and self loathing and feeling useless and unable to cope.

Most of my depression is down to my self image, I have not looked in a full length mirror for over 10 years and I have not looked at my full face in a mirror for about the same time, I do my make up in a hand held pocket mirror as to avoid seeing my full face.

On my worst days I struggle to have the energy to move, before I was a mother I use to spend these days in bed, sometimes 3 or 4 days could pass without me getting up, now I am a mother I have to get up and if I have a bad day I avoid doing house work and make simple food for my children's lunch, I avoid eating myself and spend most of the day laid on the sofa.

I suffer from social anxiety and I believe this as a lot to do with my depression and it stops me from going into public on my own.

I struggled with self harming when I was younger but I now manage to keep it in. This was hard to deal with, it was like a release of anger, the anger was always with myself.

Depression is a constant in my life and I know I will never get rid of it, it is difficult being in a relationship with someone who doesn't understand depression and I think if you haven't suffered from it yourself you can never fully understand it.

I have often in the past had fantasies about death, picturing throwing myself out of a moving car or throwing myself down the stairs, It is scary but I am quite sure I never will.

I have been on anti depressants now for 4 months, this is about the 4th time I have had to be treated, I find they are helping and are taking the edge off.

Having children I find even though I do my best not to let them know I am suffering they do get effected when I am having a bad day, luckily now I am on medication we are enjoying a pleasanter life with both me and my children being more contented, I think on the other hand having children has improved my depression significantly and gives me a reason to keep going.

Summary: get help!