| Product: |
My Experience of Depression |
| Date: |
16/07/09 (68 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Hopefully this may strike a chord with someone...
Disadvantages: It may upset some people - please believe this is not the intention
Oh boy - this is going to be controversial....
I've read a few of the reviews on here detailing some personal experiences with depression, some of which have been movingly honest and well written.
I want to add my own thoughts, but I'm aware that what I am going to say is controversial, so please be aware this review is placed squarely in the 'Opinion' corner....
It's also quite long, so those with ADD should click away now.
Depression and Me
>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;
I had depression - I think. I was 'diagnosed' with it, given anti-depressants, etc etc. I was unhappy, overweight, lacking direction, and miserable. I'd quit University, and thought that I'd probably never make much of my life. I ate too much chocolate, drank far too much, and generally wallowed in my own despair.
Why do I say 'I think'? Well, I think 'depression' is a catch-all diagnosis given out too freely these days. I think, far from being stigmatised as several reviewers have suggested, it's becoming increasingly socially acceptable, even common to claim 'depression'. A lot of people are unhappy - just look around you - does that make them depressed? No. It makes them unhappy, there's a significant difference. No-one ever suggested to me that perhaps, just perhaps, I was unhappy, not depressed. I wish they had - depression is a condition, unhappiness is a state of mind, and therein lies the essential point - agency. You can change your state of mind. You can't change a 'condition'. It's been imposed on you.
Why was I unhappy? Well, for one thing, I was 19, and still growing up. I was selfish to the point of monomania (as most teenagers are), I found my own life the most endlessly fascinating experience a person has ever gone through (cue some dreadful short stories and poems... oh the existential angst of BEING ME....), and this aimless navel-gazing and over-analysis of everything led me to believe that I had cause to be unhappy.
I wasn't terminally ill, I had a home, I had (some!) money, I had clothes to wear, food to eat, a job to do, friends to talk to, a family. Was I really the unluckiest person on earth? No, of course I wasn't.
So, having tried anti-depressants, and 'counselling' (offered through the CPN - the most unhelpful 'help' I've ever received...), how did I 'get better'? I stopped. I stopped thinking of myself as the helpless victim of circumstance, ill-fate, a illness inflicted on me by a vengeful deity, however you want to characterise it.
I decided that I was not going to believe in 'being depressed', I was going to believe in being happy, as opposed to unhappy, and that my motto would be: 'so, life sucks sometimes. What else is new?'
And do you know what? It worked. I'm not claiming to be Pollyanna (god, she was annoying), but I generally take life on the chin and smile at the end of each day.
Happiness is cool. Despite the fact that happy films don't win Oscars, happy television and radio is usually dismissed as facile, cheerful music is often treated as second rate ("so, you're 'depressed', and I see that you list your favourite band as Portishead, and your favourite song as 'Why does it always rain on me'? by Travis...."), trust me, happiness is cool. Try it. You might like it.
Depression in my family
>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>
My sister has 'suffered from depression' for some time now. Says her doctor. She's 26. She's intelligent and beautiful, talented, witty and very blessed. She doesn't feel it. She feels worthless. She self-harms and has attempted suicide.
Why? I wish I knew. I have all sorts of theories, but in the end, I don't actually believe it matters why. What matters is what you do about it. You have responsibility for your own life. If you don't put any effort it, you will get nothing out. Basic physics.
I know this may make a lot of people angry, but I honestly believe, with no malice or hurt intended, that if 'depression' is a condition of the mind, then the mind can overcome it. If you were diagnosed with high cholesterol, would you opt to continue eating a diet high in saturated fat, and taking no exercise, and say 'it's a condition, I can't help it'? I hope not.
I'm not (really, I'm not!) trying to say 'cheer up, misery, it's all in your head'. I'm saying that you have the cure within you. You have to try and find it. If you lie down and accept that a 'condition' has beaten you, that you 'can't help it', you're lying to yourself. You can try.
The power of the human mind is extraordinary - it can help people to beat apparently incurable illnesses, it can conjure up the most beautiful images in words, images, and sounds, it can grapple with the furthest reaches of the universe and the inner workings of human cells, it can cause you to reach out to a stranger in need, to run a marathon for a charity, to smile at a stranger. Doesn't that make you happy?
Summary: My own take on depression, purely from personal experience.
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Last comments:
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- 19/11/09 I'm obviously not a doctor, but I don't think that what you had was depression. I think doctors give far too much crap out and make terrible judgements a lot of the time, especially with mental illness.
Secon dly, comparing depression and obesity is comparing apples and oranges. The reason why you found it easy enough to snap out of your low moods was because you weren't depressed, you were just feeling down.
Being depressed is more comparable to having an allergy - you might think dogs are the cutest thing ever (ie you might want to stop being depressed), but that doesn't make you sneeze less or stop you coming out in a rash (ie doesn't make you suddenly happy). What I'm saying is, things don't always happen just because you want them to. |
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- 17/08/09 Interesting but I think a bit oversimplified.
As Stampeding Turtes above has said, if you are actually clinically depressed then it is not possible to shake it off by positive thinking. You are indeed at 'empty' and help is needed to just give that little boost to help you climb the next fence.
I think it is really easy to assume everyone can do what you can do but i don't believe this is actually so.
We are all made differently, with different resources and come from different histories.
I love the intent to use positive thinking, I agree there are many times it can be all you need, but I am also sure that for many, there are occasions when positive thinking is a step too far.
I too hate the instant option of medication and if that doesn't work, stronger medication.
But the alternative, something like a talking therapy is fraught with danger too because in my experience, many of those who go into this type of work in fact need help themselves. Some, on decent training programmes are properly monitored and supervised and can certainly go on to do great work supporting others.
Unfortunately, there are also many, in my experience, who see it as a chance to 'help', they impose their view, plant their ideas and do way more harm than good.
Don't ask me what the answer is as I don't know.
I do however feel sure that not everyone can, in fact, lift themselves.
I think it depends hugely on the reason for the depressive state and their ability to understand the mind and the mental process. This is not exactly easy when sunk in the depths of despair.
So a plea for more understanding and perhaps a kind word to a passerby or a smile to a stranger could be just what they need to indeed lift themselves but if they can't let's not pre-judge. |
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- 12/08/09 A remarkably positive review, given your experience. I admire your spirit. |
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