Me, Myself, and Depression. (Epic!) (My Experience of Depression)

Member Name: Autarkis

Product:	My Experience of Depression
Date:	29/08/09 (187 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: This may just help one person, and may help others to share how they are feeling.

Disadvantages: Not enough people are knowledgeable about this illness, and it is kept in the dark.

I really appreciate you reading this as it has taken me a very long time to write, however do be warned that this article is long and may sound disjointed in places.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I am writing this for myself and also in the hope that someone else can benefit from my experience.


-Takes a deep breath-


This is something which I have contemplated writing about for some time now but have never had the courage to do so. It is quite a tricky subject and a hard one to understand, and something that some people are not willing to learn about. I think people need to be more aware of depression and the signs, symptoms and causes as the more it is aired the more we can help each other overcome this dreadful illness that affects so many of us through our lives.


Depression is an illness which affects many of us, and many of us suffer in silence. It is an illness which the sufferers are afraid and or are embarrassed to talk about. It is said that roughly at this time 1 in 4 people suffer with depression at some point in their life. So that means people that are around you may be suffering in silence with this illness.


The human mind is a powerful thing - keeping it healthy is vital, anyone can get depression at anytime in their life. Have a healthy balanced happy lifestyle and try to avoid stressful situations. If you think you may have depression or you have more bad days than good days then seek help, as once depression grabs hold of you it is hard and takes a lot of effort to get back on top again.


-------What is depression?-------

Depression is often the word used when people feel down or sad, however clinical depression is an illness which affects ones life, each sufferer will experience depression in a different way to another some may experience it in a mild form, whereas for others it may be more severe. The onset of depression can be caused by many things, and you never know when it will creep up on you.


It is a debilitating illness that takes over making you feel empty and lost, lifeless and worthless. It feels like there is a heavy cloud crushing you, and you see the world through a glazed teary eye. Everyday simple tasks seem near impossible and you feel like the world is against you. Everything feels clouded over, making you feel like a different person. You forget who you are, and how to live and be happy. This depression takes over your life and drains all the energy and life out of you, making you feel lost and scared as the world passes you by without you realizing it.

You lose interest in everything you loved and enjoyed, you find it hard to concentrate and focus on things for long periods of time. Irritable, agitated, restless, and exhausted but not able to sleep or relax.

At least that's how it feels for me.


-------My personal journey through depression-------


I have suffered with depression for about 8 years now, before I was diagnosed as having this disabling illness I knew very little about it. At first when I started getting symptoms I had no idea what was wrong with me. I have always been a sensitive person but a lively bubbly character who was always the life and soul of the party. In my college years I was confident, outspoken, and colourful, always up for a laugh and enjoying life to the full.


All a person ever needs is to be loved; we all crave care and attention from others and to be accepted. In today's hard fast world, it is easy to neglect loved ones and people forget to let others know how special they are to them and how much they mean to them. How you treat others really does have an impact on the way they feel. If someone says something nice to you, compliments or praises you it makes you feel good. Smiling at someone even someone you don't know, it can make their day. How often when you walk out of your front door do people smile or say hello to you as you walk down the street, it is very rare. It is so easy to feel lonely in life even though there are people all around us. It's almost as if people don't care for each other anymore, because life is going so fast.


The little remarks you make to people in a jokingly way you may feel are funny, but these can hurt.


-------My Story-------


It is hard to say what exactly caused my depression, a combination of events through my life. Parents have the biggest impact on their children. I was the oldest child of three and to be honest I don't have many happy memories from my childhood, I don't think my parents were very happy together and my mother was always a bit hysterical and thinking back she showed some odd behaviours, I don't think she was a happy person. I don't feel like I had a maternal bond with my mother, and my father didn't have much time for us. My brother was a good 8 years younger than me and my sister was about 4 years younger than me, I felt my mother favoured my brother and she even admitted having a favourite and I was said to be a 'hard' baby. My sister and I would fight like cat and dog all the time.


When I was at the tender age of thirteen my mother had an affair, my sister and I knew about this my mum was not ashamed to tell us about it and we even met the man - as my mum would take my sister and I to the social club with him. Some time later my mum decided to end the relationship with my father and she left her children behind, I must have been about fifteen at the time my dad was bitter and angry and I was the one to bare the brunt of his anger, he became so strict with me and I felt suffocated, I remember he would often run up the stairs to come and smack me and my sister so we would put books in our pyjamas to stop it from hurting. I was never allowed to have fun and do things other teenagers were doing and my dad restricted my life and I often got grounded, I became scared of my dad one day when I came home he asked me where I had been I said that I had been at a friends house, he had been checking up on me and knew I had been at a boy's house, he was so angry with me he pushed me so hard across the kitchen I landed by the front door.


I felt miserable and unloved and felt like I could never do anything right, feeling incredibly low I sat at the kitchen table and had several packets of pills I was a blubbering mess and wanted to end my life I was all over the place fortunately the pills were all in plastic bottles where you had to line up the arrows to pop off the lid, I could hardly see in front of me so I couldn't even open the bottles. No one ever found out. My mum's friend who lived in the next street knew I was miserable and I had had enough of living there, so she suggested that I should go live with my mum. Although I wasn't happy with my mum for what she had done, I decided to go visit her; she lived close to my then boyfriend and I had little choice over what to do as my life was hell. I decided that I would be better to live with my mum and when I told my dad this he quickly pushed me out the door telling me he didn't want to see me again and my sister was angry at me as she felt like I was deserting her.


My dad stopped me from seeing his mother, I was very close to my Nan and I adored her she was a lovely sweet lady and when she passed away my dad forbid me to go to the funeral, on the day I stood and watched from afar as they took my Nan into the church.


-------Life with my mother-------

My mum was the opposite to my dad she let me do as I wanted so I had no restrictions on my life, I stayed at my boyfriends house over night and at the age of seventeen I became pregnant. When I told my mum she cried and told me I wouldn't be able to cope. I was surprised by her reaction, soon after my daughter was born my mum seemed jealous and she would tell me at the weekend my daughter was hers. I had been with my then boyfriend for 2 years before my daughter was born, during my pregnancy he became angry quite easily and would often lash out at me and he gave me a nose bleed I was quite upset and sat in the bathroom crying. Once my daughter was born he became more violent and aggressive towards me, the slightest thing would make him go mad and he would hold me up against the wall with his hand around my throat holding a knife to me. I never told anyone about the way he treated me, but I would often have bruises and people would ask me why I always had bruises, I would make out I had no idea. A year later our relationship came to an end.


Not long after my daughter was born my Nan (on my mothers side) only got to hold my daughter once she was so happy and proud to have a granddaughter, not long after she went into hospital where she suffered with lung cancer and spent her last days there. This too caused me a great deal of sadness as like my other Nan I had quite a close bond with her in comparison to the rest of my family.


My mum was going away on holiday and wanted me to go, I didn't want to as I was still upset over the breakup of my relationship, but she insisted. I met someone whilst there and spent a lot of time with him over the week, my mum said I should go live with him and she had me packed up, and took me to his mother's house a week later. After a cup of tea and a brief chat she left me there. I was there for a year and I was feeling isolated and lonely, I was a city girl living in the middle of nowhere. It was making me feel unwell as I wasn't happy there, it started to effect my health so my mum said we could come back and live with her and put our stuff into her house whilst we found somewhere, so we did.


Two weeks after being at my mum's she became erratic and moody, she decided she hated my boyfriend and she acted very jealous. She acted very childish and became moody very easily, one day she had an argument with us and she kicked us out, it was 8pm at night my daughter was 2 years old and we had no where to go. We ended up sleeping on the floor in a flat next to the restaurant where my boyfriend had just got a job. When we had found somewhere to live we had to go back to get our belongings from my mum's house, she had piled all of our things up on the drive and our clothes were in oil and everything was just chucked outside. I was shocked, trying to get our things into the van whilst watching my 2 year old daughter who was rummaging through things that were not safe whilst my mum and sister stood there laughing.


A lot of house moving (not through choice as we were renting) and other stressful events and a couple of years passed without me seeing or hearing from my family. All the while my boyfriend was working long hours while I was home a lot with my daughter.


-------The symptoms start to show-------


One day I started feeling nauseous and the feeling remained with me over a few days, I was feeling worse and worse as this horrible feeling wasn't going away, 2 weeks later I went to see the doctor who seemed puzzled and couldn't find anything physically wrong with me, in fact she didn't even give me much time or take me seriously. So I left feeling worse, as I was feeling bad and still had no idea why. I didn't get better, I was feeling rough and exhausted unable to relax or sleep and I was finding it difficult to finish a meal. I wasn't feeling like myself at all, I was feeling very low in mood and there were no signs of me getting better; after several trips to the doctors where they didn't seem to be interested and seemingly have the prescription printed off for tablets to stop me from feeling nauseous already. I have never been a great believer in the use of medication to treat any illness so I was very reluctant to actually take the tablets I was prescribed, however the feeling of nausea eventually forced me into starting to take them.


After several months of taking these tablets I started to become dependant if not addicted to them. It was becoming to the point where I would be taking them prior to me feeling ill as a precautionary measure, almost like setting a bear trap outside your front door just in case a bear came along. Despite my taking the tablets physically I did not see any alteration in the way that I actually felt, and they seemed to be nothing more than a placebo. I then returned to my local GP and insisted upon seeing a different doctor, he seemed more helpful than the others that I had seen previously although he wasn't sure what was the cause of my illness he suggested that a low fat diet in conjunction with me eating little and often may be the solution to my problem. By this time I was feeling desperate to try anything to alleviate this illness that I seemed to be suffering from. So I immediately made my way to the supermarket with renewed hope and scoured the shelves for low fat labelled food. For the first few weeks of me changing over to this new diet I did find there to be a slight upturn in my general well being however the lack of fat in my diet did lead to my overall body mass becoming less and less to the point of me weighing as little as 6 stone.


I spent most of my days lying around with little energy and I struggled with every day normal activities, I felt completely lost and empty. I was a complete mess I would break down in tears and have no idea why. I became agitated and restless but I was unable to relax, my sleep pattern was all over the place. I couldn't get to sleep my brain would go into auto pilot and worrying thoughts would go through my mind. I found myself waking several times in the night feeling panicked finding it impossible to relax to get back to sleep. I was unable to focus and find enjoyment in anything which I would normally enjoy doing, nothing was fun anymore. I was lifeless and felt hopeless, I would walk around in a daze and everything seemed dull almost like all the colour was sucked out of the world. I needed reassurance all the time; I didn't trust my own judgments anymore. My thoughts were irrational and obtrusive, and I would have disturbing images of nasty things happening to me or people that I cared for, vivid images that were horrific. I felt like my life was no longer worth living and I wished I was never born, I felt so insecure. I started getting fears of eating certain foods as I believed they would make me be sick, and I had formed a phobia of being sick. I would read the labels on packets of foods before I would eat anything to make sure they were 'safe' for me to eat.


Feeling worse than I had ever felt I went back to see my doctor, I was dehydrated and lethargic. I went in the room sat down and lent my self on the desk holding my head in my hand hardly able to sit up, before I was able to speak tears were running down my face. I didn't need to speak she said straight away that I needed to go to hospital. I had the look of dread on my face and refused, as I was scared. She said go home and if you changed your mind phone me and you can go straight to hospital. It wasn't long after that I was on my way to hospital; I was dangerously underweight and completely dehydrated and lucky to be alive. I was put on a drip to rehydrate me. They prodded and poked me and done a few routine tests but they didn't find anything physically wrong with me.


My daughters Nan came to visit me in the hospital, she looked worried and she said to me "I think you should see your mum" I was weak and vulnerable; she contacted my mother who came to visit me in hospital. She stood by my bedside and looked at me in disgust and told me how pathetic I was, she ripped me apart and left. I lay there feeling empty the tears rolled down my face and the elderly lady next to me said "Take no notice of her" I said," That was my mother" she gasped and looked appalled!


I was booked in for some tests and was sent home, feeling worse as nothing was done and still no answers as to why I was feeling so dreadful. I just wanted an answer - a cure, I had been feeling bad for so long and I was at my peak of my illness. My mother started visiting again she picked my daughter up from school on the way and would sit and play with her. I felt like she was only ever interested in my daughter. She never showed any love or affection towards me, and I never felt like she cared.


Over the next couple of months I was back and forth to the hospital having every test you can think of, some of which were very unpleasant. I was fragile and delicate but not treated that way, as I sat in the corridor after having a rather horrible test feeling empty and numb with tears in my eyes a lovely nurse came over to me, she comforted me in a soft voice and was very caring and she listened to me, she made me feel like a person. She went and got me a couple of chocolate biscuits and offered them to me, I felt incredibly unwell and was eating very little I was still on a diet of low fat plain food anything was a struggle, she said to just nibble on one. She told me to eat whatever I wanted when I got home whenever I wanted, even chocolate if that's what I liked. She was very comforting and reassuring. It just goes to show that being nice to even person a day can really help. I will always remember her and be forever thankful to her but she will never know that she made a difference to my life.


-------Finally the doctors get it right-------


After having every test possible with all the results coming back clear there was nothing physically wrong with me, I was eventually diagnosed with clinical depression. This was hard to come to terms with, I was hoping to feel relieved once I had an answer to what was wrong with me but instead I was distraught as I knew there was no cure - no quick fix, and I felt ashamed and stupid. Since it took the doctors and health professionals so long to take me seriously and even longer to diagnose me, by this time I was a complete mess.


-------Treatment-------


I was then prescribed anti depressants, which I didn't have any faith in and was very sceptical about; I thought how can a pill make me happy? I didn't start taking them straight away but eventually caved in as I was at my lowest point. After some time of taking them (they usually take about a month to take affect) I didn't feel any different or better, so returned to see my doctor where I was prescribed a different anti depressant and was told that different anti depressants react differently for different people. The side effects made me feel worse and even persevering with them it didn't get any better. I felt like a 'lunatic' and taking two different kinds of medication 'happy pills' and tablets to ease the feeling of nausea was making me feel spaced out and strange. Other than making me feel crazy the medication did nothing to improve my well being, I was also referred to see a councillor at my doctors surgery, after two meetings she really didn't seem to have any answers or know what to say so I was then referred to see a psychiatrist - "great, "I'm a complete mental case" was the thoughts that were going through my head. I thought there was something terribly wrong with me to need to see a psychiatrist.


I wasn't sure what to expect on my first meeting with a psychiatrist, I sat in the room feeling very uncomfortable. I was just asked questions, after leaving I thought was that it, little advice or comfort was gained from my first visit. I went back a month later and had a meeting with a different psychiatrist he asked me questions which made me feel belittled, while he sat there with a grin on his face, it was almost as if he wanted to laugh. He stared at me inanely whilst nodding his head and spoke to me in a slow voice as if I was stupid; At least that was how I felt at the time.


My mental state was no better, I was an anxious mess so far nothing had helped me I went back to see my GP who suggested I tried_ St Johns Wart_ which is a natural anti depressant that can be bought from a chemist. I was quite surprised that they were £16 for a box which would last me a month, after coming to the end of my month's supply I didn't feel like they were doing anything for me other than making me feel spaced out and strange, so I decided to come off them. A couple of days later I was in town with my daughter and I experienced a full blown panic attack for the first time in my life. I was quite close to Boots so made my way down to the pharmacy and asked for help - they just asked if there was anyone they could contact to come and get me, as my partner was at work the only other person was my mother, I sat there waiting for 45 minutes I felt scared and upset from what I had just experienced. I can vividly remember my mother coming down the escalator she stood in front of me, looked at me and said "come on then!" as she walked off, I walked behind her with tears in my eyes as I felt so uncared for.


I made another appointment to see my GP who told me that I had had a panic attack, could I feel any worse? I was diagnosed with having clinical depression, anxiety, panic attacks, health anxiety, and OCD - all of these mental health problems are linked, they all suck the life out of me and drain my energy, constantly exhausted and looking incredibly unwell as I was pale, washed out and scarily underweight. My eyes were only ever half open and everything seemed blurred. I was a complete mess, I was incredibly tense and on edge all the time, crying all the time. I would lie on the sofa lifeless but would feel very agitated and irritable unable to relax, but my mind would be wired constantly ruminating and worrying, almost like I'm having a conversation in my own head, and I would have unpleasant thoughts. Looking in the mirror I didn't know who I was anymore.


I was referred to see another psychiatrist for my OCD, he asked me to shake his hand and after told me that he had had his hand in the public toilet bowl and that he hadn't washed his hands since he left his house that morning. He also remarked upon how he had eaten his lunch without washing his hands first - I felt repulsed. I left feeling quite disgusted and thought that he was more crazy than me as he sat there quite proudly telling me he had his hand in the toilet. Needless to say I didn't go back.


I started to attend S.H.A.R.E (Self help relaxation exercise) course which my doctor had arranged for me, this is a course that helps people that suffer with anxiety and panic attacks. I had a volunteer driver from the course come and collect me, I felt incredibly anxious on the way over, he was very nice and made conversation as he knew how I felt as he had felt the same way when he first attended.

As I walked into the building to get my name badge, I took a seat (near the back) and sat there feeling incredibly tense. I looked around the room which was full, with people of all different ages - they all looked so normal I thought to myself. I sat listening intently, as the man started talking he told us that he knows how we were all feeling as he too along with his assistant had all suffered with panic attacks and mental health problems.

As the weeks went on I started to feel ever so slightly relaxed and felt more confident, as a group we learnt relaxation techniques and how to cope and manage panic attacks. I also gained knowledge on anxiety and panic attacks and this helped greatly! After a few weeks at the end of each session there was hot and cold drinks available so we could socialise with others in the group, this did take some courage as we were all timid and nervous, over the course we all started to get to know each other and could share our feelings with one another, this was very comforting to be able to talk to people who looked genuinely interested and listened! It was nice to know I wasn't the only person and others could understand me and what I was going through. By the end of the 12 week course I had learnt so much and I left feeling positive and had gained some confidence. There was the option of returning to repeat the course at any time if needed which was also nice to know.

If you suffer with anxiety or panic attacks then ask your doctor about the course, as for me it was really helpful. It was more relaxed as you are in a group so you don't feel isolated and the volunteers understand and can relate to how you feel.


-------On the road to recovery------


I didn't bother going back to see any health professional as I felt they made a mockery of me and no one took me seriously, I didn't feel like they really understood me or even cared to help.


I was free of medication, and decided not to go back to see any health specialists. I was however more knowledgeable about my illness and had a greater understanding of my mind, I had hit rock bottom - I knew that I had to get better myself, I didn't want to be in this place anymore.

This was the turning point for me, understanding depression and learning how to regain my confidence and realising that I wasn't a 'lunatic' I wasn't a weak person for having this illness. It is said that people with mental health problems are intelligent beings who are more attuned to life.


-------My self made treatment-------


I visited a Chinese herbal medicine clinic, where I explained how I was feeling and that I was feeling nauseas and unable to sleep. They recommend that I had a course of acupuncture and they also made me some herbal tea which looked strange and tasted vile! After the first session of acupuncture I walked out feeling relaxed and dreamy, that night I had a sound sleep. The course of acupuncture really did help me to get my sleep pattern back on track which was vital as sleep makes everything seem a lot brighter and it gave me the energy to live!


I started to practice yoga at home; yoga not only gives you a good work out improving posture and body shape, but it is also great for relaxation making the mind and spirit healthier. Yoga also benefits by boosting self esteem and improves concentration.


Retraining my thoughts and changing my behaviour; change is hard, very hard! I had to think more positively and believe in myself. Having some understanding of my illness, I knew that when I was/am feeling bad I would usually think something was physically wrong with me and I would worry, this would mean I wouldn't eat well which would make me feel worse and then I would panic even more. Now I know it is all in my mind - I tell myself that I am okay and find things to do to keep my mind active and busy so I'm not thinking about my health. A great way of doing this is through Escapism for example I would watch movies that don't have a dark tone to them, anything that is easy to follow as you can lose yourself in a movie and forget about anything else that is going on in the world.


Eating little and often helped me to build my body weight back up and improved my appetite, I started to introduce food that I had cut out of my diet back in.


Focusing on the positives in my life - it is easy to forget just how much good there is in life when you are in the 'black hole'


Filling my time, having things to do and keeping busy but having balance in life is important.


Work:
I went to my daughter's school and asked the head teacher who knew my mother, if there was any work that I could do I was honest and open about my mental health and she was very understanding as she had had bouts of depression, she offered me some part time paid work assisting in the classroom, and I also became a lunchtime supervisor as a position became available she offered it to me. She also said that I could come into school anytime and they would find tasks for me to do, I loved working with the children as they are a breath of fresh air and they can make you laugh and smile without even trying, they are so innocent and I loved working there. I took up the offer to do extra work, I was helping out in the office with paper work and other duties and I worked alongside teachers, and I was making my own activities which I carried out with small groups of children. This gave me a great confidence boost and gave me something to focus my energy on. My daughter always looked proud when she was to see me around the school, and I was able to keep up with what she was doing at school.


Along with other self help strategies, my health was starting to improve although I was still a long way off being stable, still in the midst of depression and still quite anxious and on edge but I was going in the right direction.


**

My dad began visiting me once a week, but had started to make excuses about why he couldn't make it and then he eventually stopped coming round altogether.

My mother had tried to get my sister to make an effort but she really wasn't all that interested, we were always having cat fights when we were kids as siblings do and it felt strange seeing her now that we were adults we never got to know each other.

My mum started interfering a bit too much once again and was showing strange behaviours, she would pick and pull me apart at every opportunity, and she really knew how to bring me down. She wanted to control my life and she seemed very jealous when I was happy. She had got angry with me and we had a fall out over something, she came banging on my door, and was screaming through the glass - of course I didn't open the door when she was frightening my daughter and making me feel uncomfortable, she threatened to call social services on me - not long after social services were on my door step, the lady was very kind and said that I would be better off cutting my mother out altogether because her behaviour wasn't healthy and she was only cause me pain and problems. I have not seen my mother since, although she would curb crawl outside my house and daughters school, and sometime later I had a second visit from social services and the reason for them coming out made me believe my mother had contacted them again, as no one else had reason too.


My brother had become withdrawn and shy and was scared to do what he wanted to as he was stuck in the middle of our parents who would use him against each other. Needless to say I have no contact with him either, which I feel was more the fault of my parents as opposed to him.


The fact that my family have nothing to do with me and over the years that they have been in and out of my life causing me pain and grief. It still saddens me to not have my family around me, and it will always be something that plagues me.


-------How am I doing today?-------


While my mental health may not be brilliant, I have a better outlook on life and I am fighting my depression, it will always hover over me and be in the background.

Now I just need to work on my other mental health problems, which seem far more difficult for me to know where to start.

I must be a nightmare to live with, I am very lucky that my partner has stuck with me for the last 12 years, although he doesn't fully understand what I am going through he has been a rock and has given me light and happiness in my life. I am the proud mother of 2 beautiful children who are my world. I now have my own family who bring me happiness and love.

8 years on and I am still living with depression, but I do not fear it anymore, instead I am aware of it and understand it. So I am able to fight it once I notice it dragging me back in.


Take care of the ones you love, and make sure you remind them how special they are to you.


Thanks to all my regular readers who have given me confidence, and helped me grow. As this site along with some of the other review sites which I participate in have given me something new and exciting to focus on and I have met some great people along the way.


This is my personal account of my depression, these are my thoughts and feelings - I am aware that each sufferer has a different perspective and what can help one person may be of no help to another. Do what helps you to get on the road to recovery.


Although this is long this is only a snippet of my experience of depression, and factors and causes.


-------Signs and Symptoms-------

Here are just SOME of the signs and symptoms

* Losing interest in the things you would normally enjoy.
* Feeling tired all of the time and having no energy.
* Difficulty in sleeping and waking early or through the night.
* Having a poor appetite, no interest in food and losing weight/ Comfort eating.
* Finding it difficult to concentrate and think straight.
* Feeling restless, tense and anxious.
* Losing self-confidence.
* Avoiding other people.
* Finding it harder than usual to make decisions.
* Feeling useless and inadequate
* Thinking about suicide. If you feel this way, talk to somebody about it - get help!


-------Places to find extra help-------


If you or anyone close to you is suffering or you suspect is suffering from clinical depression, then these are a couple of useful websites and organisations that can offer help:

**

Depression Alliance Tel: 0845 123 23 20; http://www.depressionalliance.org/; email:
information@depressionalliance.org

Information, support and understanding for people who suffer with depression, and for relatives who want to help. Self-help groups, information, and raising awareness for depression.

**
Depression UK
http://www.depressionuk.org/; Email: info@depressionuk.org

A national mutual support group for people suffering from depression.

**

Samaritans: Helpline: 08457 90 90 90; (Ireland): 1850 60 90 90; http://www.samaritans.org/; e-mail: jo@samaritans.org

National organisation offering support to those in distress who feel suicidal or despairing and need someone to talk to. The telephone number of your local branch can be found in the telephone directory.

**

SaneLine: Tel. 0845 767 8000; http://www.sane.org.uk/SANEline

A national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support and information for people affected by mental health problems. Open from 6pm to 11pm every day of the year.

**

All comments and questions are welcome.

Thank you for taking the time to read this it means a lot to me.

Summary: Take control, enjoy life.