BEING HAPPY (My Experience of Depression)

Member Name: nona

Product:	My Experience of Depression
Date:	06/07/02 (152 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: How to make things better

Disadvantages: It requires effort and going with the flow.

Have you ever been thinking of somebody you've not seen for months, and then they arrive on your doorstep that very morning? Have you ever been humming a tune in your head and found it playing on the radio when you turned it on? Good thoughts are like magnets attracting to us good things, just as bad thoughts attract to us bad things. Thoughts are a form of energy. If you have studied quantum physics then ideas about energy may not seem so strange.

Now here is a thought for you: "Thoughts and feelings have their own magnetic energy."

I read that in an excellent book called "Being Happy" by Andrew Matthews (published by Price Stern Sloan) 1988, (Amazon may have it) and much of this review is based on the ideas of Matthews and similar people.

We all get a little depressed at times. We get stuck in a rut. We have fears.

We attract what we fear. If we think about getting mugged, we may well get mugged. If we worry about spiders, we will see spiders. Better to think of things we want to see and happen.

If we imagine ourselves being happy, we will be happy. If we imagine ourselves being loved, we will be loved.

I once went on holiday to Italy and had a fear of flying, bad hotels and mafia types.

The flight was terrifying, the hotel was awful and I kept on meeting men in dark glasses.

It may be a good time to consider what we fill our minds with. Are we watching too many horror movies? Shouldn't we be taking more notice of happy things and happy people?

Not that fears are always to be seen as a problem. When we confront fears they disappear.

Depression and pain can even be useful. Pain causes us to contemplate: to change direction.

Disasters aren't so disastrous. The sooner we recognise what we gain from a bad experience, the easier it is to deal with.

Take humour more seriously. Laugh when things go wrong.

The new car
got scratched! Good! Now I don't have to worry about driving around a totally perfect car.

The house has major structural faults! Good!
This reminds us of the teachings of Buddha and Jesus that suffering comes from an attachment (a magnetic attraction?) to earthly things like money and possessions. The structural faults give us a chance for some exciting changes to the architecture of our home.

Death? Death means a moving on and a fresh and exciting beginning. Consciousness exists separate from the brain (see the work of Professor Eccles). There is no unchanging individual. All people are manifestations of one life. If our best friend has died, remember that they are still there, and, in any case, we should love everyone, not just one 'best friend.'

Various kinds of pain? Pain can help us
to stop touching the hot stove. Pain can teach us to stop pitting ourselves against the universe. When we relax, we can let the pain ease away.

But, how are we to be truly happy? Ah, we have to make changes!

If you are serious about changing your life, get serious about changing what surrounds you. Maybe you need to change your room, your job, your location, your route to work, your exercise habits, your choice of books and films and music, some of your friends, but, above all, your attitudes.

Do you get angry sometimes? And it spoils your day? Do you feel anger about the past? I used to be too full of anger and I spread it around. It made me somewhat depressed. I'm getting better with anger. Usually I can remember to say to myself that anger does me no good.

Live in the now. As Matthews writes, "It is always our choice whether we get on with our life and live in the now, or whether we chain ourselves to grudges and upsets of the past."

One person sees the beautiful mountains, lagoons and spires, and the other sees the dirty window. You choose what you see and you choos
e what you think.

I went to Florence and could only see the horrid traffic and the scaffolding and the unsmiling people. I missed the beautiful people. Silly me.

The tennis player who wins Wimbledon is the player who is always thinking, "I want this point. I am going to win it." The player who loses is the one who thinks, "I had better not make a mess of this shot. I hope I don't blow it."

We gravitate in the direction of our dominant thoughts. Positive thinking works. Plant your goals inside your subconscious. If you want to be a self confident person, picture yourself brimming with self confidence in your imagination. Imagine yourself being successful and happy and it will come true. Sounds weird, but, it works! Try it!

You are in control. You decide what you think. You decide what you put in your mind and so determine what you get back. We get from life largely what we expect.

Now this next bit may sound silly. But it does work!

Make positive affirmations: "I am going to get on well with everyone", "I will play a good game of tennis", "People always treat me with love and respect", "My head is relaxed and at ease", "My anger is going away", "I am in a good mood", "My illness is going away", "I am going to help lots of people today".... Our words affect how we think and feel.

"If all that we are is the result of what we have thought, all that we shall be is the result of what we are thinking now." These are the words of Buddha.

Jesus said more or less the same thing. It's the thoughts inside a person that make that person feel at ease or feel dis-ease.

Think noble thoughts. Think contented, moderate thoughts. Think self-confident thoughts. Think happy, light-hearted thoughts.

Count your blessings. Today is a whole new beginning.

Now this next b
it is really important. Goals are what keep us going. Set yourself goals. What do you want to achieve? Do you want to be a film star? A TV personality? A successful parent? A great doctor? A prize winning gardener? A top student? A happy salesman?

Make sure your goals are noble. The goal that will make us most happy is the goal of 'helping others.'

I was once an unhappy teacher in a British city. I could see no way out. Then I decided on a new goal. Eureka!

I have found that once I know what I want I can generally get there. Ah! But the problem is overcoming the fear. You really need a bit of a push.

Just think: the most important thing is not reaching the goal, "but what you learn and how much you grow along the way." You almost certainly can achieve your goal, but most of the fun is the getting there.

No goals are achieved without setbacks. Learn from your mistakes. That used to be my big failing. I kept on making the same mistakes.

Helen Keller refused to allow her blindness and deafness to prevent her from spending her life helping the less fortunate.

As Andrew Matthews points out: "Some of the greatest challenges you ever faced were in your first few years as you took on the problems of walking, talking..."

We can learn a lot from children. Learn from children about laughter, spontaneity, curiosity, acceptance, resilience, trust, determination and imagination.

Put very simply: You reap what you sow. The universe is fair and just. We get back from life only what we put into it.

There are risks, but they are worth it. Getting a job is a risk. When we love people, we face risks. To learn to walk we must risk falling over a few times. Making changes to your thinking and to your life does involve risks. Grasp the nettle. Stop the pain. Get out of the rut of depression.

As Matthews writes, "The universe is continually encouraging
us to stretch, to climb, to be extraordinary."

Now here is an enormously important tip: Go with the flow.

Get the balance right between effort and relaxation; in golf you may miss the ball if you are tense and trying too hard to beat your opponent; it doesn't matter if you win or lose the game.

When you play Monopoly, try saying to yourself "It doesn't matter whether I win or lose." You then relax and the magic takes over. You win!

Maybe, in the World Cup, England were trying too hard to win.

Let go of the past; see beauty and magic everywhere you look.

Today will be much like yesterday, unless we put in an effort to make it better. "When everything looks black, it could be time to celebrate; you may be near to achieving your goal." Be persistent. When necessary, ask for help.

We can change our reality by changing our mind.

Not convinced that the world will treat you well? Love is about looking for the good in people and things. Love is everything.

Be a magnet that attracts good things.

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