Praski's Quick Guide on how to reduce stress (Stress Management)

Member Name: Praskipark

Product:	Stress Management
Date:	09/08/09 (64 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Relieves stress and gets your life back on track

Disadvantages: A stress free life

Some degree of stress in life is inevitable and even desirable however, prolonged stress can lead to serious mental and physical problems; so what can be done to reduce the harmful effects and take back control of your life?

The first step is to understand how stress works. As animals, we have a fight or flight mechanism which leads us to respond to threats.

Some people's 'threat sensors' are over-sensitive and like a car alarm that goes off at the slightest vibration, they over-react to situations and become stressed very easily. For such people, there are two useful techniques that can be used. The first is to interrupt the bi-feedback loop. When you feel stressed it's likely that your heart will race and your breathing will become shallow and laboured. You notice this and say to yourself, 'Oh my God, I feel stressed!' When you feel like this, work at slowing and deepening your breathing and telling yourself that you are calm and in control. The second approach is through rationalisation. Think of all of the things that you worried about in your life; there's a fair chance that most of them never happened. People who experience a lot of stress tend to over-estimate the likelihood of something going wrong and the magnitude of the consequences. Try to be more rational and also consider the worst outcome and accept it. OK, what if your presentation was a disaster? It wouldn't be great but it wouldn't be the end of the world either.

Another approach is to identify and write down all of the things that stress you and to take action on the things you can change. Many life events such as births, marriages and deaths are naturally stressful and it is worth noting that even 'happy events' can be a cause of stress. People can experience a stress overload when too many big things occur at once,eg, new job, moving house, birth of a child, increased debt, etc. Accept what you can not change but look carefully at steps you can take in the things you can. All long journeys are made of many small steps. Try to align yourself with yourself. Develop a lifestyle that suits your personality as trying to be somebody you are not is not sustainable in the long run.

Apart from life events, two big causes of stress are money and relationships. Debt can be an enormous millstone around your neck which constantly wears you down. You have to confront your financial reality. If necessary see a debt counsellor. Avoid paying off one debt with another as this will eventually reach the point where you just can't keep up the payments and all you will have achieved is to double your debt. Act now before it gets out of hand.

Relationship problems can cover anything from an overbearing mother-in-law to sexual problems. Whatever it is, you have to talk and be honest about your feelings. Try to avoid blame and accusation but talk about behaviours and how they make you feel.

Be clear in your mind about what you want to be different. Bear in mind, that this is not a magic formula and that people aren't always going to become what you would like them to be. By the same token, you are the only true judge of your behaviour and should not try to live up to other people's expectations, whether real or imagined.

Unrealistic self-beliefs will create unnecessary stress also so if you are the sort of person who uses a lot of 'should' statements in your internal dialogue, then think again. If you say, 'I should never fail, I should be able to cope, I should have been more successful,' ask why and says who?

Let go of trivial and self-created stressors like impatience. You can see people in traffic jams or supermarket queues getting themselves all worked up. If that's you, learn to let it go before you give yourself an ulcer. Poor time management is another self-imposed stressor. If you are always racing against the clock, either you are saying 'yes' to too many jobs, setting unrealistic deadlines or leaving things to the last minute. You may say that there is nothing you can do about it but in fact, you are the only person who can do something about it.

Be wary of ineffective coping strategies centred on avoidance and blocking. Troubles won't diminish by ignoring them and although drink or drugs will provide temporary relief, they come back to haunt you once the fog clears.

Apart from the suggestions made so far, other helping strategies involve diet, exercise and sleep. Stay off coffee and drink plenty of water and green tea. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and avoid junk food and comfort food particularly late at night. A good night's sleep makes the world of difference but isn't easy to get when you are stressed. Try to get as much exercise as possible during the day. Walk whenever possible and take the stairs instead of the elevator. If you suffer from insomnia, don't read in bed or catnap during the day or evening. Go to bed only when you are really tired and get up if you wake up. Try to get a solid block of sleep, even if it's only for a few
hours to start with.

Work at changing your general outlook on life to a more positive perspective. Don't get involved with people who just want to moan all the time and reinforce how bad life is. Think of the things that make you happy; think of the things that you are proud of. You can identify a high point or achievement in your life and touch your hand or wrist, using this gesture to recall the moment at times of stress.

Another technique is to imagine a peaceful sanctuary, a beach or a garden and retreat to it in your mind as a relaxation technique. This is particularly useful when you go to bed, rather than milling over all your worries.

Finally, you need to change the balance of positive and negative experiences in your life. If you have one life box called 'stress,' it will occupy 100% of your thoughts and stress equals 100% of your life. Although you might not feel like it, develop other activities; do some sport, meet friends, go to the movies, even if it's a real struggle to get motivated. By doing so, you will reduce the proportion of stress filled moments. Take time to think about and notice happiness and joy around you; the blossom on the trees, a squirrel in the park, a child's smile.

Somebody once said, 'life's just one damn thing after another,' and it's true that there will always be something else on the horizon to stress you out. On the other hand you might derive more happiness by sticking with Louis Armstrong when he sang 'What a wonderful world.' It can be yours, if you let it.

* This article has also been posted on Helium under the name of Janet Sandford*

Summary: Best ways to reduce stress