Aaah, Bisto! (Other Car Accessories)

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Product:	Other Car Accessories
Date:	16/01/01 (39 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: So Much Choice, So many odours

Disadvantages: None that are really outstanding for both effectiveness and phat-ness

I've just got my first set of wheels. Don't know anything about cars - mine, or anyone else's. All I know for sure is that it's red, and it's got a funny smell inside.

Having been assured that the MOT, service, tax and other similar luxuries can wait, I have been racing around garages and supermarkets checking out the latest and most up to date ultimate must-have car accessory - the dangling smelly air-freshener. Not wanting my lengthy and thorough research to go to waste, I have decided to fill you lovely dooyooers in on my findings.

First we have the classic model, "Magic Tree". The Magic Tree range. Cheap and outdated, with an overpowering odour reminicent of riding in the back seat of Grandpa's metallic green Volvo, the Magic tree range has been going for years. It boasts over 30 different colours and smells, each one in the shape of a rather unspectacular yet memorable for the sheer degree of unspectacularness, fir tree.

The Magic Tree is one for desperate measures only - that is, if you're stuck in the middle of a desert with your car, Rab C Nesbit is sweating in the back seat and the onlyshop for 3000 miles is out of everything -including Bisto - except Magic Trees. A definite no go, so it's a mystery why every shop I visited insists on keeping a good stock of Magic trees at all times.

Next up, the Simpson's selection. Available from large Tesco stores, B&Q and Woolworths as well as the odd hip happening BP garage, the Simpson's range comes as both a traditional hanging style, and a more stylish and modern "sit it on your dashboard style". Then when the smell runs out (doesn't take long) you can leave it looking cool on your dashboard and add another member of the family, and so on. The smell is gorgeous, but doesn't work terribly well - the hanging Simpson is much more effective - and the "Sitting Simpson" is ridiculously expensive, at £3.49 a f
amily member.

Alongside the Simspons collection you will often find Loony Tunes characters - Daffy Duck is common, and often sits next to Taz and Wallace and Grommit on the shelf. Good for the young 'uns.

Up a notch on the scale, South Park fans will be delighted at the Talking Cartman fresheners which yell "Oh no! The Smell killed Kenny" at the touch of a button. Perfect for hopeless fans who could use such an accessory to initiate hour long dialogues taken directly from the programme. Guaranteed to make light work of a six hour car journey.

Finally, we come to Neutradol, a series of Air Fresheners designed for everywhere and anywhere - including your smelly motor vehicle, happily! Plain or super fresh, the Neutradol car sachets have a sticky back, and are light enough to stick pretty much wherever you want - and this is not one you really want to go parading all over your dashboard.

Although the product claims to destroy the smell rather than just covering it up. However, I found the product to have a very definite smell, which reminded me a bit of toilets. Clean toilets, but toilets all the same, which is not really the odorous image I want to give off in my new set of hot wheels now, is it?

So, being not very sensible, I plumped for a d'oh-ing Homer Simpson, standing on my dashboard. The nasty smell in my car has faded somewhat, although the divine smell (honestly, it's lovely) doesn't really come through. That's why, in that brief moment between switching the engine off and opening my door, you'll find me leaning forward and sniffing at my Homer for all I'm worth, before I get out of the car, content in the knowledge that I'm up to speed with the latest car accessory.

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