Newest Review: ... morons from the general public. The Love Trap had a heart, light hearted, and wasn't derivative and obvious. This was old fashioned telly... more
Why did Konnie Huq chose that prat Rrichard Bacon over me...?
Top 10 Romance Programmes
Member Name: thedevilinme
Top 10 Romance Programmes
Date: 04/06/10, updated on 08/06/10 (507 review reads)
Advantages: Love in all its forms
Disadvantages: Richard & Judy....
According to a survey in Radio Times Magazine, English men think they have the best chance of bedding a girl called 'Kelly'. The female readers that responded thought guys called Lee, Dave and Andy are the dodgiest geezers out there and top of their steer clear list. Apparently, guys here think they can get Kelly's into bed quicker than any other girl of any other name (the name currently tops the single parent list in the Daily Sport to back that one up!), although the ten out of ten that is Kelly Brook is obviously immune from such frivolous and unfounded journalism. The other good time girls on the list were Debs, Stephanie, Michelle, Tina, Lisa, Carly and Nicky! So, any dooyoo girls want to confirm such scurrilous tat.lol.
= = = STREET MATE = = =
Hosted: Davina McCall
Originally hosted by Davina McCall, the in your face youth TV presenter would walk around the streets of British cities and try and pair up young people. If the two total strangers agreed they would get a free date paid for by the production company made the Channel four show. As we know British people spend a hell of a lot of time eyeing each up furtively but little of that time actually interacting so this a good idea for a show, only excessive amounts of booze getting us together these days.
Most of the time Davina would be packed off to vibrant student towns and most of the participants were indeed be students wanting to get on TV and say 'brilliant and amazing' every sentence whilst talking about their backpacking experiences in South America, rather than actually getting it on. As they were a bright bunch they quickly twigged that this was a TV show not a quest for true love and if they weren't entertaining their segment wouldn't make the show, which all got a bit irritating but still enjoyable in that irreverent way. No one ever got on but it was a fun if contrived half-hour back in the 90s
= = = BLIND DATE = = =
Hosted: Cilla Black
As with the above none of these shows are really about meeting a partner but getting on telly, always a back-story for the tabloids to mulch through when a particularly entertaining couple are on the show. Blind Date was purely about exhibitionists and nobodies being given a stage to perform like apes and the goofy and toothy Cilla the ringmaster with the whip. A couple of couples who did meet on the show did get married although you always felt they did it to get more publicity.
It was that self publicising that killed the show as the researchers selected more and more outrageous singletons that would garner the attention of the tabloids and so the show imploded, people on their revealed as actors, ringers, experienced reality show chasers and posers, any essence of romance well and truly stamped on by the 1990s.
= = = BLUE PETER= = =
Channel: BBC 1
Ok, why is he including Blue Peter in the romantic TV stakes? The reason, of course, is the presenters on the show, surprisingly sexy too, over the years were jumping in and out of bed with each other, between the wild parties and cocaine binges (Richard Bacon). Even though most current male children's presenters look gay, in the old days they were real gigolos and very much on the straight and narrow. Richard Bacon was grinding the gorgeous Konnie Huq (the love of my life) behind the big cardboard Blue Peter badge studio logo between performances of some school kids nativity play, Peter Purvis, he of the bouffant hair and purple flares from the seventies, was boning Valerie Singleton, which was a huge surprise as we all thought she was a lesbian, just two of many famous flirtations. John Noakes, of course, was eyeing Shep the Dog (there were seven Sheps by the way; the kids never told when they got old and died)!! They were all going like rabbits off set and Peter Purvis's biography was where he revealed his fling with Valerie, exposing all manner of naughtiness on the show. I just can't imagine Simon Groom with a woman though.
= = = = LOVE TRAP = = =
Host: Davina McCall
Love Trap was a frivolous and light hearted affair that worked because it was a reality show that wasn't offering a big cash prize or instant fame for complete morons from the general public. The Love Trap had a heart, light hearted, and wasn't derivative and obvious. This was old fashioned telly at its most pleasurable, why it got just the one series, we presume.
The concept was in that reality style, here young men from all around the world applied to be on a dating show set in London, via various websites and media small ads. The prize was Carolina, a gorgeous blue eyed attractive and curvaceous Stockholm girl, who has been invited to London by the same production company to take part in a 'dating experiment'. She didn't seem the type who was particularly keen on a TV career and so immediately made the show interesting. After putting her up in a small London flat five men from five other countries were selected to pursue Carolina, each spending four days with her in the flat, the twist being they didn't know about each other, the experiment set over three weeks. The chosen men that set out to try and win Carolinas heart were a suave Ugandan, a slick Italian, a laddish Brit on home turf, a drunken German and a typical Aussie.
The idea was this was a voyeur experience for the viewer, the flat, wired up with secret microphones and cameras, plus the visible camera crew who film the five contestants and their efforts to get off with sexy Carolina on various dates and situations, each guy doing the same tests and tasks to see how they compare. We would then learn about the mating ritual of the cosmopolitan male.
It was a fun idea to see how guys flirting techniques vary around the world although. They weren't just four dates to see if they could get her pissed and in the sack though but some less than scientific tests to work out which nationality is the most gallant, romantic, generous and attentive etc... Carolina taking the option to carry on seeing any of the guys who most impressed her after the experiment ends and she and the cameras go home. Again, no cash prizes, no 'Nuts magazine' front cover, no whirl of media interviews: just honest dating.
The tasks of how gallant they were included protecting Carolina from a fake mugger, sorting out an over-charging London cabby, and defending Carolina from an aggressive guy trying to steal her away in a pub (all the stooges played by actors).With fail-safes deployed so the five contestants didn't rumble there was more to the experiment than copping off with a sexy Swede the tests continued all week. They didn't seem to have twigged what was going on throughout which made it feel refreshingly uncontrived. I think some were suspicious of possible hidden cameras, although it is fair to say none of the guys were the inquisitive type.
The tests were the show and were great fun and quite revealing, although depended on how much alcohol the boys have drunk. What wasn't surprising was just how many of the guys accepted the phone number and come-on of a pretty girl (actress of course) in a club while Carolina was in the toilet.
The shows attractive quality (apart from Carolina) was that it genuinely felt like what it was advertised as-a show about a nice girl looking for a nice boy, the bonus for them being it was on TV.
= = =Mr. & Mrs = = =
Host: Derek Batey
In the old day's quiz shows were tame affairs and involved more blindfolds and elderly people than a rough swinger's party in Essex. In this one old dear's and their hubbies were tested on how much they really knew about their other half in marital bliss, answering questions on each others habits and traits etc, and could win two weeks in Benidorm or a Stenna Starlift if their bond was true. But controversy would strike, this the most of sedate early evening family shows, cheating being discovered! Two octogenarians from Bolton worked out that if they listed all their answers in alphabetical order on the magnetic boards on the blindfold and sealed booth challenges then the other half of the couple would get them all right if they too listed them in alphabetical order. It worked a treat and neither the host Derek Batey nor the production team twigged until some viewers wrote in two weeks later. The couple won all the prizes and the money and once the accusation was made no one was ever charged or prizes returned. Sadly the quiz was cancelled on TV now the cheat was out in the open. Hey recently did a celebrity version but the celebs were too coy to give away their marital secrets so it died on its ass.
= = = Arrange me a Marriage = = =
Host - Aneela Rahman
Asian families have always enjoyed the idea that men and women should have arranged marriages, on the surface a union of two similar people, but really about matching their daughter up with a wealthy suitor with prospects. The reason Asian families are so much larger than British families (4.4 children per family to 1.7 in white English units) is because the women are expected to produce sons. A boy can generate as much as £40,000 pounds dowry in some circles whilst a pale skinned Indian girl can also generate a tidy some come the wedding season. It's that cynical and cold in many cultures. A pale skin is seen as classy as it suggests the person is of white-collar pedigree and works in an important office and not in the fields in the sun so getting darker skin. We mustn't be naive about this type of arrangement as they are exactly that, couplings based on religious caste, culture and hard cash over love and genuine tenderness. In some families the shame levels for being unmarried adults in traditional Asian extended families are very high one would presume.
Here, hosted by Aneela Rahman, it was a show again styled in that always tacky reality way, why not make a program out of the process of an arranged marriage, the twist being that an India presenter applies the Asian arranged marriage method to white middle-class professionals dating scene. Not surprisingly, host Aneela was the most eligible and attractive thing on the show (not available because she has been married for 15 years through a successful arranged marriage), the contestants (and that's what they are) in comparison, as expected, the production team picking the usual odd balls and posers who want to be on Telly rather than couples looking for love, these the type of people you wouldn't want to marry, and indeed no one had.
As much as Neelas intentions were genuine to match-make, the producers seemed to have other ideas. Modern 'telly' is rarely about happy endings. That's not what the audience wants. There would be know need for Neela to 'buy erself an 'at', as Cilla famously put it.
In the show the actual first meeting point of the potential couple is a proper Indian do, lots of garlands and petals chucked about, all in sundry dress and traditional attire, Saris all around for the girls. I have always thought Saris were kind of sexy!
Here at the formal ceremony the potential couple's parents also meet, along with friends and family, to close the deal if you like. Aneela tried to look positive about things but it was never going to work, the couples having as much chemistry as Saddam Hussein's most recent and non existent WMD program, the body language gauche and painful to say the least. But the sad reality is that if this was an Asian family meet they may well have had to get married, regardless if they got on, another point the show didn't daren't address. It may be work and booze that brings Brits together but at least we can change our mind the morning after.
= = = Big Brother = = =
Hosted: Davina McCall
Ultimately BB is a dating show, or at least it started out that way, attractive young people locked up in a house with nothing to do but flirt. It was show that quickly deteriorated as far as natural behavior went as the years rolled on but in the early ones you did get to see close up how sexual politics works, the alpha males and picky females quickly establishing themselves in the house in order of a hierarchy of attractiveness. When you're young your looks and athleticism is what attracts the opposite sex and we saw how extroverted people used those assets here. Melanie was that alpha female and she worked the boys one by one, extended her stay in the house week by week as she snogged her way though to the final week, men discarded like empty fag packets. It was a clear demonstration of how women use their sexuality to get what they want and all the men were willing suckers for it. I don't know if there were any genuine romances on the show over the years as we approach Big Brother 10 next week but being a couple certainly kept you in their longer in the early ones, until the audience began to tire of it and enjoyed splitting them up just as quick. The show was eventually spoiled because the contestants learnt from previous shows and just acted everything out, the social experiment long gone.
====This Morning ====
Host: Richard & Judy
I suppose TV's greatest love affair is that between Richard Madely and Judy Finnegan. Richard, the likeable and surprisingly open local Yorkshire TV journalist, was snared by cougar Judy, his boss in the 1980s at the same local TV station. But the age gap was big, Judy now an old bag with more chicken wings than Kentucky's, Richard, rather mysteriously, looking exactly the same age as he did in the 1980s, a unique Botox role reversal. Why they got together is a big a mystery as his sexuality but their bitching on the king of unemployment TV shows, 'This Morning', is legendary. Whether Richard fancied his mom and is living that fantasy vicariously through Judy is mere conjecture but there does seem to be a weird attraction going down on screen. I daren't think what domination goes on in their bedroom and what sort of websites Richard looks at but they are enduring and it is rather sweet that they are still together. He even pops her boob back in on live TV award shows because their love is that strong...
= = = The Simpson = = =
Channel 4 & Sky 1
If we are honest Homer and Marge are TVs most realistic romantic couple, Homer lucky to have a gal like Marge and Marge using that to keep Homer and the family on the straight and narrow, be it with a few marital escapades in-between. But Homer never ever cheated on Marge and although both have come close (Marge, rather bizarrely, with Ricky Gervais!) they have stuck it out through thick and thin and it's those little gestures of Homers (between beers) that holds it all together. Although women won't admit it they marry beneath them because they prefer a man that fewer women desire that will do what he is told than a man other women desire and he will stray. Rather ironically women find the same single man more desirable when he is married to another woman as they must have something desirable about them, the true test if he is a catch....I want what she's got type of attraction. Homer is a catch because he provides for his women and kids, not because he's cute, the man all women want deep down.
= = = The Office = = =
Who could not be entranced by the romance between Tim and Dawn, he the graduate dossing in a menial admin job, she the secretary to scared to follow her dreams, dragging along in life with her safe but ignorant blue-collar boyfriend.
Tim (Martin Freeman) and Dawn (Lucy Davis) are perfect for each other, Brent and Gareth's incompetence in their workplace a mere distraction to amuse and appall them in equal measure. They are on a higher plane and Wernam Hogg's sole purpose in their life is merely to bring people like them together who need each other to move on in life.
Most romances people have are through work or friends of and Gervais and Merchant really capture that stolen romance you have in the work place when you know the other half is with someone else. In a recent survey one-in-six women in Canada that has worked in an office confessed to having an affair with their boss in their working lifetimes. The office is a real hotbed for romance and Ricky and Stephen's brilliant writing and characterization of the dissection of the social class system and the rules of it in that workplace are absolutely nailed in this brilliant sitcom and the sweetest of romances. The Office is the greatest sitcom of the last ten years because its creators know people and how they interact. Dawn and Tim's romance is so real because we can all identify with a very British unrequited love story in the work place. You have all been Tim and Dawn at one point in your working career...
Summary: Love is on air..