Run for your life! (Billie Piper in general)

Member Name: bluetones_girl

Product:	Billie Piper in general
Date:	16/02/01 (69 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: erm...it stops eventually

Disadvantages: it was made

I always disliked Billie. I don’t know what it was about her. Actually yes I do; She’s fake, talent less and she fell out of the ugly tree at birth, hitting every branch on the way down. I can assure you it’s not a jealousy thing. I love Britney and Vanessa Amorosi and in my opinion they are far worthier people to be jealous of!

Anyway, her first album was an insult to the word music. Her songs sounded like playground chants and her voice…well the less said the better. She can’t sing high, she can’t sing low. She basically just can't sing. All her songs consist of the same tune with slightly different lyrics.

Then along comes Billie with a new image. She’s no longer just Billie the kid. She's grown up Billie. Apparently older, wiser and aiming for a more mature audience with edgier music. All she really did was add a last name and wear less clothes. So, her comeback single was a cross between Britney and Five and utter crap! Here’s a review of her second album. Not in the right order. I just got them on mp3 so I don’t know what order they’re in.

1. Day and Night
As I said, cross between Britney and Five but nowhere near as good. Her voice sounds dreadful and the entire song is basically the same 3 lines re-arranged in different orders.

2. Something Deep Inside
This sounds like something else but I can’t think what. Still its hardly surprising that she’s ripped off somebody else. The video made me laugh a lot. What’s with her hair? I think its an attempt to look like Mariah Carey – a failed one! She just looks ridiculous. The song is all voice enhancers and vo-coders which shows that she can’t even sing simple songs without help. Its better than the last one but that’s not really saying much!

3. Walk Of Life
This one was a big fat FLOP. Which again amused me greatly. It’s possible one of the dullest songs ever written. I think the problem with this one was that it doesn’t have a catchy hook at all. Its just BORING.

4.Ring My Bell
All the reviews I've read for this song go on about how this song is so similar to Britney's stuff. I'm sorry but, no. Britney's stuff maybe poppy and occasionally a tad naff (I love you Britney) but she has never NEVER sunk to these depths. Its all about how everytime Billie's hears her doorbell ring, she knows someone's at the door. Well duh! Apparently she can also tell all the men in her life apart by the way they ring her bell. Tramp. This is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. It’s not quite as suicide inducing as “Girlfriend” or “Because we Want to” but it’s close.

5. Run That By Me
This is actually the best song she’s done. I mean, I don’t like it but its not as crappy as all the others. It has at least got a tune! The only thing wrong with it is Billie’s voice. I don’t mean to sound repetitive but she really can’t sing. It's all about how she has to put on a brave face when she hears stuff about herself.

6. The Tide Is High
NO! It should be made into a commandment. “Thou shalt not cover and ruin previously good songs” She’s got some weird guy rapping in the middle of it and samples from “Girlfriend”. Why was this allowed? Please shoot the person responsible *NB kiddies, not ACTUALLY shoot them as this would be wrong*. But it’s dire and should not be allowed ever again.

7.Bring It On
God, is it not possible to have a song without electronic enhancers etc…in? The only thing it enhances is the fact that she’s rubbish. This song is boring and unoriginal teenie pop. She’s also heavily outsung on the chorus by her backing singers.

8. Safe With Me
Can i just say I'm biased against any song that starts with doo doo doo doo bits. So this one really didnt help itself. Its not really annoying... just dull and tuneless. Its one of those songs that would be ok if the singer had a strong enough voice to do something with it. I know i always whinge about aguilera going OTT but there is a happy medium!!!

9. Because of you
This one starts with Billie saying "And you dont stop" in what I can only assume is supposed to be a faux jamaican accent. Why would you do that? Its an 'I love you, you're so great, you make the world stop' babble. Nothing life changing. Sounds like all the others.

10.Misfocusing
This is supposed to be Billie being deep but really it’s just Billie being more boring than usual. She just whinges on and on about how people are 2 faced and sell stories about her. She calls us baby and asks if we feel sorry for her. I think we're supposed to, and stop slagging her off. Maybe tomorrow.

Thats as far as I got... I felt sorry for myself and had to stop before the bleeding in my ears led to an early death.

Summary: pile of crap number 2 from Billie Piper