Didn't get a Brit on Monday, had a big sulk on Tuesday... (Craig David in general)

Member Name: george_lazenby

Product:	Craig David in general
Date:	01/03/01 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None

Disadvantages: Soulless pop pap

Oh dear, how sad, never mind. After a year of endless, incomprehensible adulation for the Sultan of Smug, Craig David, finally a small measure of retribution comes from a somewhat unlikely source. After all, I would have thought that the record industry, whose creature the Brit Awards is, would have been happy to hang gongs around the neck of such an uncontroversial, passion-free record-selling poster boy. I'm not sure who votes for the Brits, but my guess is that all the record industry bods who were so loud in his defence secretly whooped for joy as they put their votes in for someone else. This'll wipe the smile of his face etc..

But no. Six nominations, and six other people win the Awards that little Craig obviously thought were his birthright. I mean, the rest of his meteoric rise to fame has been pretty seamless, as housewives and teenies trot out relentlessly to buy his dull single and his dull album, while Radio One sweep the airwaves clear for wall-to-wall CraigRadio, as if he is some sort of Marvin Gaye for the twenty-first century. We had a No Brits For Craig Party on Tuesday, and we even managed to cheer when A1 won best newcomer. Really, I think he's that bad.

I do think that popstars have a responsibility to be excessive and unstable, but even given that some of them might shirk their duties to be dilletantes for us to enjoy vicariously, but Craig really does resemble no-one in pop so much as Cliff Richard - smooth voice, bland tunes, personality of a felled tree.

If you listen to his songs, they are arrogant, meaningless pap full of endless self-reference and facile depictions of what a gorgeous charmer Craig is, how the ladies love him and how cool he is. The worst of it is actually that album shot, the eyes closed in faux-passion, the hands clutching the headphones and the statement: 'Born To Do It'. Born to write and perform tedious, soulless, repetitive cack which will be forgotten before Craig hits
thirty - bring back Luther Vandross, all is forgiven.

It must be something of a dent in the old self-image to know that more Radio One listeners voted for A1, surely the worst, most pallid boyband yet, rather than old CD. It doesn't say much for the state of pop, but at least the edge will be taken off his smugness. Yes, he'll be stoical, yes, next year they'll probably shower him with awards, but for one night, somebody did it all over Craig, and I was happy.

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