Say what? (Hear'Say in general)

Name: JackW24

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Product:	Hear'Say in general
Date:	12/09/01 (33 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: They are rich., Soapstars!, Novelty factor.

Disadvantages: I am jealous that they are rich., Soapstars!, They really truly suck.

We saw it from the start, and I doubt it'll be long before we all see the finish of Hear'say.

Hear'Say themselves, and the whole popstars bundle, is just a conclusive experiment that once and for all proves the sorry state of chart music today. Five people, selected, for being slightly better at singing than everyone else who turns up, are made into a band, given a song, shown a dance, and go straight to number 1.

We all know that they're frauds, we say them from day number 1, what are they called again?
Right, here they are, one by one:

Noel: The effeminate choirboy, needs to go home to his mum. Really doesn't have the personality to be a popstar, and let's face it, he's going to spend all his money on sandals and sherbet dips..

Kim: The bar singer. Yep, she's got a great voice for a bar singer, if you like that sort of thing. They picked on her so much to tell her to lose weight so that she'd "look better" and then they went and did that to her hair? are they having a laugh? When she sings, I can't help thinking she's Vic Reeves from shooting stars.. sorry.. but it's true

Danny: Possibly the most annoying person ever. That huge pugly grin from ear to ear. His voice really grates me, but you guys listen to it? It really stands my teeth on edge..

Myleene: With the award for the most mis-spelled name ever (I think I'm probably chalking one on her board there), she is the member of the group who actually has a lot of talent. It's just a shame that she is a talented musician, because all that instrumental talent is completely wasted in hearsay, well do you ever see her playing the piano anymore?

Suzanne: Worst make-over award goes to Suzanne, I'm sorry, but I really don't know how they managed to make her look so daft, it must have blown most of their budget;
£15 : Sandwiches
£20 : Petrol
£1.50 : Costume made from coal
sacks
£3.5million : Making Suzanne look worse
£20 : Kiddies toy to distort voices to add "hip and trendy" effects to some of their "music".

I think they really got that budget wrong..

There are some amazingly good bands out there who are not getting the recognition they deserve, while HearSay are hogging the limelight. They don't sound good, they don't fit in with each other, and "Hearsay it's Saturday"??? with the "Hearsay comedy wall"??
Who's idea was that? It was probably the same man behind Noel's House party.

His current projects include "60 minutes of variations of the chicken crossing the road joke" and the fabulous gameshow "Happy family snakes-n-ladders tournament challenge"

Yes, I enjoyed popstars, because it was funny that people were so bad. I laughed out loud at the guy quietly reciting the lyrics of "Robbie Williams - Angels" in a monotonour drawl. I snickered at the antics of Darius and his lovely rendition of Britney Spears, but when they made HearSay into a band? When they released single after single of mindless, re-released, over-hyped stale shallow trash?

I'm sorry.. but that's one joke too far, and I just don't get it...

Cheers anyway HearSay boppers.

Jack

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