Listening, I think no sheep (All About Music)

Member Name: Celandine

Product:	All About Music
Date:	15/09/01 (163 review reads)
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Emotions. These can be difficult things. Sometimes, when you're lying awake at night, just thinking, and thinking, they take over, and before you know it the shadows become monsters, and you're having to find ways of fighting them in your sleep.

And sometimes you can't sleep, and so then maybe channelling, somehow, this mad surfeit of emotion is the only thing to do. It doesn't matter whether the emotion is personal, or happy, or sad, or just despairing, feeling lost, helpless, even. It matters more if you've a name for it, a place to put it, because this can make the whole situation more manageable. It's the nameless, chaotic fears that are always the worst, at three 'o' clock in the morning, when the rest of the world is asleep in bed.

I make things, when I'm lost, alone, and wondering what to do. I make pictures, because these help me make sense of the world, and, somehow, allow me to take these stray emotions, and make them into a sort of sense. I get something at the end of it, too - something to look at, and to analyse, and to help me dream again. Something to make good all those random, silly feelings that go nowhere and help no-one. At least with a picture you can tie it down, after the first splurge of activity. It starts off escapist and cathartic, and ends up like looking in a mirror. There's something, at least, to be made sense of, and to be made good. Control, I suppose.

I'm don't know if writing is the same. I know I can't balance words beautifully in the same way I can balance shapes, or lines. And one thing I definately know is that I can't balance notes, or lyrics. But somehow the three things, pictures, music, books, are entertwined, and they do help make sense of the world, sometimes - or at least help us to make sense of it.

This is meant to be music in general, in general, but it's really about 'the arts' in general, in general, because, in a
way, to me, they're all related. What else can make sense of waves of meaningless emotion? What else can make you smile on a grey day? What else can let you cry, when you need to, and you've talked yourself out of words?

But music. When I listen to Bach, and the wonderfully balanced notes, and counter-notes, the magical counterpoint of musical phrases, then I see the world differently. Bach levels - he lets mind and heart work together, maybe, realising life through cleverness and knowledge. He's never gloopy, nor too solid. He, somehow, for meat least writes music that, whatever it's 'interpretation' from different orchestra's, always reminds me of magical mathematical formulae, dancing in front of me. He's a leveller, and listening to him lets my mind flit happily around problems, I suppose. It's maybe like reading metaphysical poetry. There's wit, ideas, balances and counterweight's. When I feel gloopy, he makes me feel better, I suppose.

It works the other way, too. When I want to feel gloopy, then there's music that can make me feel that way. When I want to give myself some energy, then there's music that can do that, too. I like Michael Nymans - all those tooty trombones, and manic, repetetive phrases. He, for some unknown reason, inspires me to work. I suppose it's the energy in his music somehow provoking a reaction in my brain, connecting nodes, or whatever they're called.

If I've emotion to unload, feelings I can't put into words, then I'll probably listen to Verdi, something like "La Traviata". The music is moving, meaningfull, it makes me cry - and sometimes I need to cry, even if the reason for the tears has nothing to do with the music. Music is powerful, that way.

It's been something used, before, too. "Carmina Burana", by Carl Orff, is an amazingly stirring piece of music. I loved it before I knew that it was played at
the Nuremburg rallies (that fact I 'know', but having looked around for more information I've failed to find it, so if my 'knowledge' isn't correct, then I apologise). Now I see it a bit differently. Orff put together folk tales, and turned them into an amazingly powerful musical piece. Music that inspires, and invokes feelings of solidarity. There's no confusion in Orff. When I look at the way this power was used, then I realise how, just how, the arts can bond people, can move people, and that sometimes this isn't a good thing. Look at the Last Night of the Proms. That's harmless nationalism, but, it makes me think that yes, it's great to be proud of belonging to a nation, but don't let music persuade you into becoming a sheep.

I know that there are theories around that say listening to the music of Mozart and Bach when a baby, can increase your ability to solve spatial problems. If this theory leads to 'hothousing' of children, then I'd hate it, but, if it leads to people listening to music, having their awareness of the world channeled, their sense of communication developed, through music, then I like it a little better.

Despite all that, though - the pattern of the notes, and the way different instruments and voices are used, in music there are also lyrics. I'm not a big fan of lyrics, I have to admit. If I want words, then I'll go to poetry, and look at the music, the rythm of the words there. In good poetry, the words come first, but the music is there too. Read any good poem out loud, and you'll see what I mean. But lyrics. Well, a marriage of words and music - and if it works, if it communicates, if it helps make sense of anything, in any way, then that's great. It's just not my taste, that's all.

And we all have different tastes. That's what is great about music, and books, and pictures. There are so many good ones, around, that anyone can like w
hatever they like. There are no rules, really, so long as you aren't bothered about listening to whatever you want to, whenever you want to, regardless of what everyone else likes. Music is individual, and although it has the power to make everyone become sheep-like, following the latest trend, or fad, it also has the power to let everyone be individual.

Only music that you genuinely like can send shivers down your spine. You know that feeling? When you're looking at a picture that somehow you relate to, in some indefinable way - or reading a book, a piece of writing, that can put your own thoughts into words. Well, with music, for me, it's something that can make sense of emotions that sometimes I didn't know I had. It's something that can be listened to with a group of friends, or on one's own, just because you want to. It can be discussed, or just accepted, like books, or pictures, or ideas.

How can I cover 'music in general in general'? Well, I can't. I don't make music. My Father did - he sang folk, and about social issues, too. He saw music as something not just to be enjoyed, but to educate, to inform. I 'play' instruments, but a long, long time ago I realised that I was a listener to music, not a player of it. And where would music, or pictures, or books, be, without listeners, or viewers, or readers. Because we are all individual, too, music means different things to all of us - but, as a group, it lets us communicate, define ourselves, if you like, and, as people, on a personal level, it can sometimes help us make sense of the world around us. And, it can send shivers down your spine, whether that be from beauty, or horror, or bewilderment. It doesn't matter which music does this, but the fact it can makes it marvellous, to me.

Music can do this - it can change your mood, help you channel emotion, and it's rarely silly. Best of all, you can choose what music you want to play
, unlike people, who work as individuals, and are never fixed. If you're bored, or feeling dull, then there's disco, silly music, or music that reminds you of when you were a student, and you felt less dull, or bored.

When you're fifteen, and spotty, and lonely, then you've gloomy music that can match your mood, and make you feel more interesting, and clever. And when you're 25, and no longer fifteen, or spotty, then the same music can remind you of when you were fifteen, and life was simpler. Or, just, when you were seven, and you didn't think about life at all, or what sort of music you were listening to, but just whether you enjoyed it. It all helps, sometimes.

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