My Funny Observation Of Nu-Metal Kids (I Am An Annoyed True Metal Fan!) (All About Music)

Member Name:

Product:	All About Music
Date:	04/02/02 (0 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Funny

Disadvantages: Numnetal kids

Nu-metal kids, you suck because-

-Your hair is dyed a color that doesn't appear naturally in humans.

-"Suck" and "Rule" are the best descriptions you can come up with for music.

-You think ICP is funny.

-You think Korn is a metal band.

-When you write or type words, you do it LiKe tHiS because you think it looks
ReAlLy KeWeL.

-You think "Eighties Metal" refers to Motley Crue, Bon Jovi,
and Poison.

-You call yourself a metal fan, but when someone mentions Tom G Warrior you
just get a confused look on your face.

-You're white, yet you wear really baggy clothes and try to come off as being
hardcore.

-You make fun of 80s glam rock, but have no problems with the hair or dress of Wayne Static and Coal Chamber.

-You look ugly on purpose.

-You call people ****.

-You think that Slipknot is the heaviest band out there.

-You assume that if someone doesn't like Deftones, they must listen to "*****
stuff like Hanson".

-You claim to like heavy metal, yet can't name any German thrash bands.

-You claim to like heavy metal, yet think that My Dying Bride must be one of
those old low-budget flicks from the 60s.

-You own a Dr Suess hat.

-You're really into "hardcore" but CBGB's doesn't ring a bell.

-You bash Mushroomhead for "stealing" Slipknot's look (or vice versa) even though BOTH bands clearly stole their look from Mr. Bungle...or Devo.

-You think "goth" means Marilyn Manson.

-You associate "industrial" with NIN and Prodigy instead of Skinny Puppy and
Foetus.

-You have a tribal tatto.

-You'd just die if Jonathan Davis touched you!

-You think black metal bands are trying to copy KISS with their image.

-You say things like
"Korn rules and always will! If you don't like them, you
suck!" (with more grammatical and spelling errors, of course)

-You're under 20 years old and claim to like "extreme music".

-You think the cops probably want to steal your pot.

-Your music collection consists of less than 100
CDs/cassettes/whatever, yet
most or all of these names appear: Korn, Deftones, Limp Bizkit, Fear
Factory, Machine Head, Coal Chamber, System Of A Down, Downset, Soulfly,
Pantera, Sevendust, and Static-X.

-You like some rap music.

-You can say "rap sucks" but openly profess love for Limp
Bizkit and POD, and with a straight face, no less.

-You love Incubus and don't know that there was once a Florida speed metal
band by the same name that was much cooler.

-You still live with your parents.

-You're a 17 year old female and wear crop tops under your open ski jacket in
January to show off your navel piercing. Flabby abdominal muscles do not
seem to deter you.

-You know who Fred Durst is.

-You think Korn "revitalized heavy metal", even though the band themselves
want to be disassociated with the genre.

-You have covered the back of your car in stickers, including at least one
anarchy symbol, one alien, and one of the bands listed on this page.

-You think death metal is Satanic.

-You consider Limp Bizkit "sellouts" (as if they were ever underground!).

-You think that by dressing and looking and talking like every other Mall
Metal simpleton that you're showing your individuality and expressing your
uniqueness.

-You think Fear Factory keeps getting better on every album.

-You think the last Slayer disc is their best ever!

-You think that Metallica sucks, but don't feel betrayed by them.

-You think that
Metallica is good for a bunch of old geezers - Reload rocks!!

-You consider the black album "old Metallica".

-You think that Roadrunner is an underground label.

-Best Buy meets all of your music needs.

-You think you're on the cutting edge of music after seeing
such "obscure"
bands as SOAD, Snot, Ultraspank, and Kilgore at Ozzfest 98.

-You learned your ebonics from Hatebreed and Vision Of Disorder.

-You never experienced the torture of "Headbangers Ball" - sitting through 2
hours and 50 minutes of White Lion, Extreme, Enuff Z Nuff and Aerosmith to
see a Kreator video.

-You think Kid Rock is the first person to combine rap with "heavy" guitars.

-You actually like Godsmack. Enough to buy it on CD. Enough to see them live.
Enough to wear one of their shirts in public.

-You say you hate the government yet can't name more than 5 people who
actually work in the government. And one of those people is your aunt Irene
that works at the DMV.

-You don't find this amusing in the slightest.

-When someone says "hardcore" you think of Drain STH instead of Agnostic
Front.

-You think your backpack goes nicely with your backwards baseball cap.

Summary: