Do you have a vacancy for a back scrubber? (Smiths in general)

Member Name: Diaz

Product:	Smiths in general
Date:	27/02/02 (861 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Beautiful music, Beautiful lyrics

Disadvantages: Can be too contemplative

Speeding down the motorway with a bucket of pig muck in the back of the car probably isn’t the way an artist envisages their audience listening to their masterpiece; still, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I bawled myself horse to the smiths as I careened down the A30 going way too fast, but it was a hire car so what the hell.


“And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine.“
--There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out


I’m sure he won’t remember me but I met Johnny Marr at a party once, he was drunk, I was drunk and I’m sure I said something stupid, I’m afraid I was very, very drunk….. That and the fact I offered the synth player from Level 42 some of my chips outside the Manchester Apollo are pretty much my only brushes with fame.

My first experiences of the smiths were foisted upon me, I was fortunate enough to get a job working at a Virgin store, I’d say it was just about the best job any music obsessed teenager could get. I got a whole store full of vinyl to play with, plenty of teenaged girls wandering around and money for the privilege I was happy as a pig in muck.


“I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now”

--Heaven knows I'm miserable now


Of course I didn’t get completely free range of what went on the record player (a record player with a stylus and everything, ah sweet memories) the other people there got a crack of the whip too. This meant we got everything from Bros to Iron Maiden gracing our decks. Of course the shop had its share of Indie kids, which was where the smiths came in, we had it played to death. At the time I was into rock, hovering between the likes of
Guns and Roses, Marillion and the Sisters of Mercy (it was the 80’s after all). So the smiths were anathema to me, I hated it with a vengeance. I took the opinion that Morrissey was the most miserable man in music and that’s as far as it got. I bravely endured the endless plays of smiths albums at work


“Burn down the disco
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music that they constantly play
IT SAYS NOTHING TO ME ABOUT MY LIFE
Hang the blessed DJ”

--Panic


I didn’t count on the persistence of my workmates and the fact that they split up, so now I was being exposed to the smiths wherever I was, the TV, the radio, work, home and school. Gah!! I finally cracked when a fellow Marillion fan (we didn’t know what we were doing, we were only 17) admitted he liked them too, but then again he liked Bronski Beat and Marc Almond, I was always a little worried about Mark.

I gave in and started to listen to the lyrics

They were funny

They were really funny


”I was minding my business
Lifting some lead off
The roof of the Holy Name church
It was worthwhile living a laughable life
To set my eyes on the blistering sight
Of a vicar in a tutu
He's not strange
He just wants to live his life this way”

--Vicar in a tutu


I mean anyone who can write a song called “Vicar In A Tutu” has to have a sense of humour.


“As Anthony said to Cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale :
Oh, I say :
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl's mothers are bigger than
Other girl's mothers”

--Some girls are bigger than others


Of course sometimes the sense of humour goes a little far, apparently Johnny Marr was none too pleased when the lyrics above were bolted onto his musi
c, which is wonderfully swirly, light, airy piece of music and Morrissey changes it into a comic turn. I’d be peeved too.

The smiths above all the morass of indie bands around in the 80’s were the probably the definitive British indie-rock band, certainly amongst the few that can be recalled. Morrissey and Marr were a strange partnership, which probably led to the groups demise. Marr was a classic rock musician, a meticulous sculptor of music. Morrissey was bizarre for his time almost effete, with his penchant for Gladioli and Oscar Wilde. This and the veiled homosexual references in early hits like “Hand in Glove” fueled much predictable tabloid speculation, though Morrissey himself insisted he was celibate.


“A dreaded sunny day
So let's go where we're happy
And I meet you at the cemetry gates
Oh, Keats and Yeats are on your side
A dreaded sunny day
So let's go where we're wanted
And I meet you at the cemetry gates
Keats and Yeats are on your side
But you lose
'Cause weird lover Wilde is on mine”

--Cemetry Gates


Morrissey’s lyrics although sometimes comical and ironic often dealt with less than comfortable subjects; “Reel Around the Fountain” caused an upset before the release of their second single “This Charming Man" in late 1983 when it was aired on a BBC radio session since the lyrics seem to condone child abuse. Another subject Morrissey wrote about was the Brady and Hindley the Moors murderers which as a Mancunian myself was a little too close to home. This caused controversy when it was released as the B-side to "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" which marred the fact it was at the time their highest charting single at number 10.


“The flesh you so fancifully fry
the meat in your mouth
as you savour the flavour
of MURDER”


--Meat is murder

As well as courting controversy with his lyrics and his statements Morrissey became more political speaking out on issues such as Margaret Thatcher, Band Aid (his denouncement made him less than popular with the press) and Vegetarianism. The lyrics to this song and the forlorn bleats of what we can probably assume are doomed livestock coupled with Marrs ethereal, hypnotic tune make for a very powerful song. That and an attempt to save money and impress a woman was the reason I became a vegetarian. An excess of wind and a bacon sandwich were the reason I became an omnivore a fortnight later. Sentiments the rest of the smiths bar Morrissey are likely to sympathise with. Morrissey claimed that the Smiths were all vegetarians, and forbade them to be photographed eating meat, even though they were still carnivores. Which was unlikely to have improved the prevailing atmosphere in the band.


“And now I know how Joan of Arc felt
Now I know how Joan of Arc felt
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her hearing aid started to melt”
--Bigmouth strikes again


Morrissey was annoyed with Marr playing with the likes of Bryan Ferry and Billy Bragg, Marr on the other hand disliked Morrissey's penchant for '60s pop and wanted diversify the music. Eventually something had to give and a few weeks before the release of “Strangeways, Here We Come”, Marr left the Smiths. The group was subsequently disbanded, Morrissey went on to a solo career and I think at the moment he might be unsigned. Marr played with a variety of artists and eventually formed Electronic with New Order’s Bernard Sumner.


“Frankly, Mr. Shankly, since you ask
You are a flatulent pain in the arse
I do not mean to be so rude
Still, I must speak frankly, Mr. Shankly
Oh, give us your money !”
--Frankly, Mr. Shankly


In 1991 after the split
Joyce and Rourke mounted a law suit against Morrissey and Marr, claiming they received only 10% of the smith’s earnings while the Marr and Morrissey each received 40%. Rourke eventually settled out of court, but Joyce won his case in late 1996.

Over the three years the Smiths made an indelible mark on the music industry and have probably influenced most of the guitar based groups in the UK and abroad. Their influence can clearly be heard in artists and bands like The La's, Railway Children, Echobelly, the verve and Gene. Since they split up in 1987 chances are you have either never heard them or it’s been a long time since you brushed off the record player and put needle to vinyl. If that’s the case, go to your bedroom, draw the curtains and let the smiths carry you away, no pig muck required.

Discography

1984 The Smiths Sire
1984 Hatful of Hollow Sire
1985 Meat Is Murder Sire
1986 The Queen Is Dead Sire
1987 Strangeways Here We Come Sire
1987 The World Won't Listen Rough Trade
1987 Louder than Bombs Sire
1988 Rank [live] Sire
1992 The Best, Vol. 2 Sire
1992 The Best, Vol. 1 Sire
1995 Singles Reprise
2001 The Very Best of the Smiths Wea

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