Iv always dreamed of creating my own festival and im guessing this is as close as I'd ever come. My area in the North East of England gets no major festivals near it and so I would base it on the outskirts of my City, Sunderland Friday to Sunday some time mid July because even though were named SUN-derland we see very little of the golden thing.
Hopefully you will see some bands you like or want to see and tell me what you think of my choices
I would fill the sites with fair ground rides, shops and stalls selling random junk like at every festival and all the top beer brands I could possibly squeeze into a muddy field.
The opening day of a festival is normally a little bit more relaxed then the last two days and I would try to fill it with few calmer bands to ease people into what would be an amazing 3 days
Kings of Leon- Up there as one of my favourite bands both Live and on CD the voice of the lead singer Caleb from tennessee and the catchy tunes known by millions have been blowing people away live for over a decade now and They are dream Headliners for any festival I think and will be playing at Sunderland Stadium in June anyway so may as well pop to my festival and do a little one hour slot :)
Biffy Clyro- My joint favourite band but sadly not a headlining band even though they are up there as best band Iv ever seen live. The Scottish three piece band would be perfect to get everyone warmed up with their lively songs and classics like Many of Horrors and Justboy
Others that day
Paolo Nutini- Staying with the Scottish Theme a nice chilled out sound and upbeat songs to make the day even sunnier
Futurehead- Have to promote local talent and these are as good as it gets from Sunny Sunderland
Matisyahu- Probably unheard of to most but if I had to describe him I would say imagine Bob Marley if he was Jewish haha. Reggae type of music with meaning and only first heard him by chance at a music festival in Poland and fell in love with the sound.
The Biggest Day will need powerful artists
Pearl Jam- Heard barely anything of this band except a few of the more popular songs like once and Jeremy but got dragged to see them live one day and now I can safely say I have almost every bit of work they've ever produced. Amazing deep voice sing along tunes and just one of those Iconic Names in music
Editors- Best Live band Iv ever seen, Lights and effects, meaningful lyrics excellent voice just as good as on a CD and amazing stage presence as im sure the hundreds of thousands who have now seen them live will agree
The View- Quirky Dundee based band compared to the Libertines but in my eyes (and ears) alot better and their bringing out new album this year so they'll be looking for work :)
Kasabian- Everyone loves a bit of Kasabian and their brilliant anthems from first self titled album to the newer stuff
Jamie T- Not everyones cup of tea (no pun intended) similar to the streets kind of rap but not quite, hard to describe but I like him and its my festival :p
The last day needs a good ending
Sigur Ros- Magical Music that im sure everyone who knows them would agree and their uniques style and beautiful songs would be a lovely way to end festival and send people away happy. (seriously if you haven't listened to then have a listen)
The Killers- Im sure everyone knows the classics like Mr Brightside and Somebody told me and I would love to see thousands singing these tunes at the top of their lungs at my festival
Prodigy- Drum and Bass legends have been blowing peoples eardrums for a very long time and have enjoyed a mini revival over the last few years
Damien Marley- Son of the legendary Bob, Seen him live last year and as well as singing his own brilliant work like road to zion he also inevitably bellowed out some of his dad's classics in his wonderful chilled out reggae style and would compliment the festival well
Well that is my festival, There are many more bands I missed like Motorhead, Queen of stone age, Pendulum, Eminem ahhhh the list is endless and its hard to try fit in the very best you want. Have a go yourself I look forward to seeing how your's compares.
I have just come across the topic and thought 'hey why not' & its a little bit of fun, I mean wouldnt it be great if we had the chance to choose our own line up!. So here goes.
My venue will probably be boring to alot of people but I would have to choose Donnington Park. I went there for a festival a few years ago and the set up was awesome. Of course there would have to be plenty of food stands, after all we have to eat. And most definitely there would have to be a decent number or beer tents scattered around so you didnt have to go far to be refreshed. Now I would say there would have to be other attractions, like fair ground rides, places to buy band merchandise but then if I have chosen the band line up i'm not going to have much time to enjoy any of them because then I would miss my favourite bands.
So lets see who would be my ideal line up for Friday, hmmmm tricky one. Actually its not all that tricky really.
Green Day - There was never any doubt in my mind that Green Day would be my first choice. They are a great punk rock band and I never get bored of listening to them. There playlist would be ~ American Idiot ~ Basket Case ~ Know your Enemy ~ Minority ~ 21 Guns ~ Static Age ~ Macy Days Parade ~ Boulevard of Broken Dreams ~ Redundant ~ Wake me up when September Ends and yes you've guessed it Good Riddance (Time of your Life).
The line up prior to this would be:
Goo Goo Dolls - I'm not sure what it is about this band but after hearing the song Iris I really got into them. I havent had chance to see them in concert yet so I think adding them too my list is the way forward. Playlist ~ Feel the Silence ~ Give a Little Bit ~ Become ~ Better Days and of course Iris.
Taking Back Sunday - I saw these at Milton Keynes in 2005 supporting Green Day and immediately liked them. They are an American rock band who were formed in 1999 and are slowly becoming more and more popular. The playlist would be ~ Make Damn Sure ~ You Know How I Do ~ Theres No I In Team ~ New American Classic ~ Set Phasers to the Sun and Number Five with a Bullet.
Good Charlotte - Love this Band, they're another band that try not to take themselves to seriously. The Lead vocalist and the Lead guitarist are identical twin brothers and their bond on stage is really apparent. The playlist would be ~ The River ~ Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous ~ Girls and Boys ~ Keep your Hands off my Girl ~ Victims of Love ~ The Young and the Hopeless.
Avenged Sevenfold - I got into this band after the lead singer and bass player featured in The River by Good Charlotte, so I am a newbie fan. They used to be a heavier rock band but their last album is a bit less heavy which is great in my opinion. Playlist ~ Crittical Acclaim ~ Beast and the Harlot ~ Gunslinger ~ Almost Easy ~ Afterlife and Dear God.
So all thats left now is the line up for Saturday night, once again this is going to be so easy:
Linkin Park - who else?. This band is my joint favourite band (with Green Day) This band is absolutely brilliant live and i've seem them a few times now and they fail to disappoint. There music is a combination or rock, nu metal and rap which blends together perfectly (biased I know) Playlist ~ Somewhere I Belong ~ Numb ~ In The End ~ Faint ~ Breaking the Habit ~ What I've Done ~ Bleed it Out ~ Leave out all the Rest ~ Crawling and their new single New Divide.
Nearly there now
Bowling for Soup - we all need a bit of happiness in our lives, thats were these come in - a punk rock band who thinks we should all lighten up and be happy (I know, easier said than done) Playlist ~ Emily ~ Girl all the Bad Guys Want ~ The Last Rock Show ~ Get Happy ~ A Hole ~ High School Never Ends ~ I'm Gay ~ When we Die.
Lost Prophets - another band I love - they are a welsh rock band who were formed in 1997. Playlist ~ A Town called Hypocrisy ~ Rooftops ~ 4am Forever ~ Cant Catch Tomorrow ~ Start Something ~ Cant Stop, Gotta Date with Hate ~ Last Summer
My Chemical Romance - I have seen MCR in concert a couple of times now and they are great live, their last album Welcome to the Black Parade was in my opinion brilliant and I cant wait to see if they can top that with their next album. Playlist ~ Helena ~Welcome to the Black Parade ~ End ~ Disenchanted ~ Famous Last Words ~ Sleep ~ Its Not Ok ~ I Dont Love You.
Well thats the end of my fun and oh what fun it would be if it was happening this weekend, oh well I can keep dreaming. I know alot of people wont like the line up at all and those who do may not like the playlists, but i'm happy with my choices
I was just reading another dooyoo members review on this and had to have a go.. If I could list all the bands I wanted to see I could have a year long festival, I'll try and keep this as brief as I can!
Ok, I'm going to keep it current as other wise choosing between bands like Queen, The Beatles and and T Rex just may be too impossible. Here goes ...
THE WHITE STRIPES-
Quite possibly the best bands of the last 10 years. Jack White's stirring vocals have to be witnessed. (I saw the Raconteurs live and they were mind blowing but my ultimate goal is to see him in the Stripes). Plus, their version of Jolene has to be one of the best cover songs ever. Sends shivers down the spine, this live would be electric as the sun goes down on the last night of a big festival.
This band, if not the coolest or current of bands at the moment know how to fill a place. Despite Michael Stipe being one of the shyest rock stars going he can sure put on a show. They could take a crowd form jumping around and singing along with Man on the Moon and Losing My Religion to swaying with lighters in the air to Everybody Hurts. A great live band.
How could i leave them out? I'm not sure there's a person in the UK that doesn't know most of the words to I bet you look good on the dancefloor. A real crowd pleaser.
For those into things a little heavier than REM, these guys are also great live. With festivals you need bands that make a lot of noise. I think we're guaranteed that with Muse.
Ok, right now you are probably thinking this is a very odd choice. Wasn't he in America with a beard and chasing UFOs not so long ago? True. But think back about 10 years and what a show his guy could put on. He could make people 2000 deep in a crowd feel like he was singing for them. Any one who went to live8 will know what I'm talking about. Robbie we're waiting for the comeback..
THE GOSSIP -
This festival has been way to male focused so far. Beth Ditto has the biggest pair of lungs and the best female stage presence right now. I would love her to don her blue catsuit and belt out Standing the way of Control. Hopefully they'd treat us to their cover of Careless Whisper too.
Ok, this guy is like marmite, but for those that love him, he puts on a great show. For those that don't it gives them time to get the beers in. Mika shows have become like the Rocky Horror Show, where the uber fans will dress up in characters form his songs. Atmosphere a plenty and great fun! Ooh and also hopefully he could collaborate with Beth Ditto like he did at the Brits last year because that was fantastic.
BLOOD RED SHOES-
Not as super famous as the rest so I guess they'd be lower billing but one of my favourite bands right now.
Writing this has made me crave some sunshine. Roll on summer...
The best festival i've ever been to was one in Sopot in Poland, with Daft Punk and Kanye West, absolutely fantastic, it had that mix of seaside, great music, wicked weather and just a really fun time.
But ok, to start with where would my ultimate festival be, well i'd love it to be somewhere hot, somewhere green where I could chill, have a few beers and just enjoy the music with no fears of getting up for work the next day so it'd be as far away from here as possible, i'd choose New Zealand, somewhere with greenery, mountain and lake views and so far away I wouldn't have a care in the world.
My festival line up would be as follows:
Blur - I'm looking forward to seeing these guys reform, great lyrics, musical chameleons, Blur are cool, they are the sum of their parts, Damon's voice and Lyrics, Grahams raging guitars, Daves solid drumming and the flamboyance of Alex James, a mixture of their old hits would have me buzzing from the start.
Daft Punk - Mixing up the electronic beats with a cool live show this would have me pumping, really jumping up and down and loving it, they were fantastic at Hyde Park last year and i'd love to see them again.
Kanye West - With songs from all four albums, starting with Stronger (following on from Daft Punk) and building into the anthems, Kanye's a great performer and is eclectic enough to get the crowd rolling.
The Raconteurs - Some heavy guitars, great voices, great rhythym section, these would fill time with their Led Zeppelin-esque sound and would be great because Jack White would be around for a performance later.
The Killers- Brandon Flowers and his Las Vegas crew would have everyone bouncing with their smart anthems, they'd be great in late afternoon, building up to.....
Foo Fighters - Rocking up with so much heart and soul you can't help but love em, Dave Grohl and the boys are amazing at festivals and they'd hopefully duet with my next act who likes collaborations.
Jay-Z - Going through his greatest hits, he is a star performer, many who expected nothing at Glastonbury were shocked, a great performer, with hidden depths, he would provide class and attitude and have the crowd pumping.
White Stripes - Roaring onstage, these two would have the crowd in the palm of their hand, with huge guitars and Meg's drums, performing all of their greatest hits, Fell in love with a girl, the hardest button to button, seven nation army (This was strangely huge at the Euro 2008 and would be an anthem at this gig). They would be a sound explosion and would get the stage ready for the coolest man alive.
Prince - Playing whatever the hell he wants, I don't care really, his guitar playing is amazing, his song writing incredible, his voice is wonderful, giving it funk, soul, rock, collaborating with Jay-Z, the White Stripes and Kanye, he would be the ultimate performer to close my show.
These are my favourites of living artists, if it was total fantasy, bands like the Beatles, The Doors, Jeff Buckley and Jimi Hendrix would be included with guest appearances from Keith Moon and Tupac, but I still think if I ever got to go to this festival i'd quit listening to music as it wouldn't ever get better than this!!
I hope your not expecting this to be realistic! I’m balancing on the brink of insanity at the best of times. But hey, that just makes life more fun! I also have an extreme mix of taste, this way theres something for everyone and at the same time all for moi! So..not too selfish! ~ Setting ~ Britain is dull, dreary and wet most of the time, so there absolutely no question of having my perfect festival here. I think Ibiza is perfect, well it would be without all those crazed clubbers, simple. They aren’t there! The only people with access to the whole of Ibiza at this time are the people attending the festival. (Hey, I told you I was selfish!) We are on a long flat beach, sand, no pebbles! At one end of this beach there are monster waves, and at the other it is calm and peaceful, I have no idea how this is possible! It probably isn’t but this is never really going to happen, so who cares? ~ Small Attractions ~ Huge fairground rides are littered across the boardwalk, waltzers, ferris wheels, rollercoasters, do not even begin to suspect that I would have silly little carousels or spinning teacups. I don’t think so!!!!! Obviously we have the emblazoned T-shirts, Caps, etc on sale but this is not very important so we’ll set these aside. There are ice-cream stalls EVERYWHERE. Sure theres all the usual fast-food venders but that’s not my favourite food now is it? Ice cream Ice cream Ice cream, everywhere! (Now I think about it I ate a whole litre of the stuff just days ago…I really should slow down with it! My uncles nickname for me is the dairy-queen….not that I actually like milk!) There are a few cinema tents set up a short walk away from our centre attraction showing only the best films such as: ‘The Ring’ I’ve heard theres an older version, so make no mistake it is the modern one which I viewed last week, absouletely excellent, even if not all
too realistic. ‘Scary Movie’ there was a point at which this was my favourite film, however I did find Scary Movie 2 a complete let down, very good, but no match for its prequel and after that my thoughts lowered….Not enough for me to forget how much I enjoy it! ‘Shrek’ Hilarious, can’t get better animation than this, however I must warn you anybody found impersonating these characters will be escorted off the premises, I cannot stand it when people do that! ‘Van Wilder Party Liaison’ Another hilarious one!! Can’t beat Ryan’s acting! Love him in 2 Guys and a Girl, love him in this too, great when along side Tara Reid. I find it has a unique plot, not a quality easily found among teen films anymore. ‘Sweetest Thing’ Now where on earth does this fit in?? That question I cannot answer, I do know that I adore this film! I thought it was brilliant although sometimes when Cameron Diaz opens her mouth I do wonder if we will all fall in! So that’s that done, anything I’ve missed? I expect theres a million and one things, if you can think of any I haven’t mentioned just throw them in there yourself. ~ The GOOD Stuff ~ No were not talking milk! I honestly cannot describe stage settings etc I am useless at it! So knowing full well that I will fail to do my stage justice you shall have to use your own imaginations, its big, its loud and that’s all I can really tell you! Nah that’s reeeally bad of me, its absolutely ENORMOUS!!! And can be heard for miles and miles. There we go, still bad, but not insulting! So as I mentioned earlier I have an extreme mix of taste, (atleast I like to think I do…) lets get this show on the road, or the beach atleast. There will be so many groups and artists appearing that as much as I love them all I’m afraid they have a time limit… Starting off with
a short introduction from Frank Skinner, (now how’d he get there?) He happened by and took it upon himself to make an appearance that’s how. This bloke is great I think, side splittingly funny, so now that everyones chuckling we can lead GREENDAY on to the stage! A great start for all the punk-lovers out there, I was introduced to their music by a former boyfriend and it must be the one good thing he did for me! GREENDAY Basket Case ~ Minority ~ Waiting ~ Redundancy ~ Poprocks and Coke ~ Nice Guys Finish Last ~ Good Riddance Not going to be the last punk band to make an appearance, but I have to keep everyone interested through out so all music genres will be spaced out to stop people becoming altogether disinterested, so all the fans will have to take a backseat for now whilst we have: SHAKIRA, no wait, wait, I’ve seen her performing live on television, and that was torture enough! Terrible! Do you really think I would put you all through that? So we’ll have a 10 minute break whilst we argue the toss with our dark rooted columbain. Now for a different female artist… PINK! I will have to put a limit on just how wild she goes on her dress sense though! I watcher her on the Brits and can someone please tell me, was she wearing yellow or green trousers? Well anyway, it was disastrous and it will scare my audience, so she can’t be wearing those. Most Girls ~ Get The Party Started ~ Numb ~ Eventually ~ You Make Me Sick ~ 18 Wheeler AVRIL LAVIGNE This time she won’t go skidding across the stage, although this will be a comical addition it will be all too familiar, I find that her most rewarding songs are the less heard of: Why ~ I Don’t Give A Damn ~ Losing Grip Now I read in ‘The Sun’ this morning that Avril is a rather depressing young lady. So before we all get too downcast there will be a dramat
ic pause, as a presence from beyond the grave (I TOLD you this wouldn’t be realistic) appears on stage alongside Dave Grohl and whats-his-face. Yes of course its Kurt Cobain and.. NIRVANA Lithium ~ Smells Like Teen Spirit ~ About A Girl ~ Rape Me ~ Penny Royal Tea ~ All Apologies Ending with his final track ‘You Know You’re Right’ before sloping back to where he came from. Now I’m the plum in the jam, what on earth can we do to back up THAT performance? I don’t know if this comes as insult or compliment but the best I can do for this situation is RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS Aeroplane ~ The Zephyr Song ~ Scar Tissue ~ By The Way ~ Butterfly ~ Californication Calming things down a bit with ‘Dose’ before having another well deserved much longer break. During this time my security guards discover Michael Jackson having a heated argument with Christina Aguilera and insisting that ‘he did not have plastic surgery’! ! Back to the set and we now have Kelly Osbourne introducing the next appearance, but not before singing her unreleased fab song ‘Too Much Of You’. Sorry guys you shall have to over look the crude language!! SUGABABES Round Round ~ Breathin Easy~ Blue ~ Virgin Sexy ~ Shape ~ Switch 2pac now appears, not from the grave, as you would think. On stage he really admits that he was never killed, it was all a publicity stunt as a back door out of fame. Thus proving the far-fetched theory I’ve read and believed!! (Hey don’t laugh!) 2PAC Letter To My Unborn ~ Changes ~ Til The End Of Time ~ I Aint Mad At Cha Troublesome 96 ~ How Long Will They Mourn Me THE POLICE What on earth? Not very likely in this scene, but I only want them on for one song so im sure we can stand it. Of course it is ‘Roxanne’ not a song I particularly like, it
portrays me as a prostitute!! But still, it is the sole inspiration of my name so… has to be played. Jennifer Lopez is also here. You would never have guessed it for the lack of servants, forget it honey, you aint bringing plus60 people here to do your work. There are no specific dressing rooms to be deocrated white, and you’re not having £260 bubbly. You are here to sing and sing you will…. J. LO If I Had Your Love ~ Im Real ~ Im Gonna Be Alright ~ Play ~ Feelin So Good Waiting For Tonight ~ The Block Another problem has arisen, in the cinema tent they have foolishly played an advert for the film ‘Crossroads’ this has resulted in Justin Timberlake jumping up and displaying affection for….the screen? Even when stopping the projection Justin still cannot be parted from this blank television? For the finale MYA has appeared backstage and requested she be allowed to sing her new comeback song (not that there actually is one) alongside JA RULE. The crowd loves it and she is flung straight back into the music business, from which she is much missed! Then joined by BLACKSTREET to sing the hit ‘Take Me There’ from which the backing for Rugrats was taken. ~ Times ~ Times? Did I really mention that? Well throughout this half term I can’t remember the hour let alone the day, so whilst having this much fun do you honestly think I’d be keeping track? Nope! Not at all, so I shan’t bother to dream up times for all of this…it just happens as it happens! We could go through the day and into the night stopping short of dawn, it could last longer, shorter. Who knows? We’ll just give or take 10 minutes! But seriously, for me to watch all of those films, eat as much icecream as I can stomach and see those performances I would give it less than 2 days. I hope you found something in there you liked?? That was only the tiniest selectio
n of bands and artists I could bring together, my contacts list only goes so far ;o) But seriously, if you would let me I could go on for hours, days, weeks! No, maybe not, but still! Is it such a big deal to ask for….? Hope you’ve all done one of these! I find them very interesting! Hope you had the same impression of mine. Thanx
I just discovered this on the dooyoo and I thought that I would write my ultimate line up for the ultimate rock concert ever. It's a one day fantasy event and there is no security guards, no hippies can enter and also there is no coperate stands ripping people off and charging a million pound for a minging hot dog. welcome to MARTFEST 2003. LINE UP: THE SMALL STAGE THE KODO Drummers from Japan ASH THE BEACH BOYS BLINK 182 THE FLAMING LIPS CHEMICAL BROTHERS THE SISTER RAYS (my band) THE MUSIC SYSTEM OF A DOWN LINE UP: THE BIG STAGE WEEZER ATARI TEENAGE RIOT MARILYN MANSON TYPE O NEGATIVE THE BEASTIE BOYS KELLY OSBOURNE (WHO IS THEN BEHEADED FOR REAL AND EVERYBODY CHEERS, 'THE OSBORNES SUCK AND I USED TO LOVE OZZIE BUT NOW HE'S A MEDIA WHORE) INCUBUS (ARE YOU IN?) KRAFTWERK SONIC YOUTH THE HEADLINERS JOY DIVISION THE VELVET UNDERGROUND
Christmas is over, we're into the new year, and it's that time of year again...when you spend half your life trying to decipher the fact from the fiction, trying not to get too excited about the ' alleged ' line ups, signing up for text alerts just in case your favorite bands suddenly announce they will be making an appearance at 4.30pm in a mud filled pit somewhere in deepest Somerset...indeed, even as I write this opinion, someone, somewhere in the UK, in on the phone trying to book my top fave artists to appear at one of the many music festivals that will take place in the summer of 2003. If I had my way, it would go something like this..... ** ~ Location, Location, Location! ~ ** My first choice was somewhere in the desert in Arizona, but, after some serious thought, I realised this would have some serious repercussions...my target market of festie goers would be American. Now, I have nothing against them at all, but this one's for the Brits, so I changed my mind. Think Derbyshire... In a lonely area of the Peak district, surrounded by grassy hills and mining museams, not too far from Matlock Bath. Very central to anyone who wants to make the journey, fantastic acoustics ( the hills! ) Lot's of sheep to talk to if you get lonely in the night. Perfick! I would arrange for stalls selling the traditional festie fayres...for example, a vegan food stall that has a menu, but no matter what you order, it always looks the same. Ethnic jewellery stalls would litter the hillsides, rainbow coloured silk scalves waving in the wind ( more usually splattered to the awning sopping wet through, looking like manky dog fur. ) The ' Smokers Paradise ' stalls...." Yes, I sell Rizla kingsize...but only the blue ones ". I could go on, but I think you get the picture. All of your old festie favourites will be there.... In addition to the main stage area I would arrange at least 6 smaller entertain
ment venues, that would remain open for the full 2 day 48 hour extravaganza. A cinema tent would show delights like ' Apocolypse Now ', ' The Excorcist ' and ' Matango - Fungus Of Terror'. A gaming tent would have all of the latest in Arcade / Video technology, plus an internet area complete with machines to combat E withdrawal. The Karaoke Circus Tent would be a constant delight...no fixed performers here, just my talented bunch of festie goers putting on a show for those of us not quite so worse for wear. Other tents would house the dance / rock / pop non stop party nights. Huge fairground rides would be situated throughout the site, almost acting as ' Landmarks ' to assist you in finding your way around. All of these attractions will be included in the ticket price! The main stage ~ ' The Reaping Field ' would be the primary attraction, an outdoor mother of all stages, the biggest stage to appear at any outdoor event in Britain to date. This area would, of course, be semi coverable if the weather failed us...but of course, this is my dream, so nothing but sunshine will touch my area of the Peaks for at least 2 full days :) The best sound and lighting engineers in the world work with the artists playing on The Reaping Field, ensuring that the audience are treated to the best special effects they have ever seen. Let the show begin! **~ The Music ~** The following is a list of those who can produce music worthy enough to play on The Reaping Field. The list is not in any particular order...I would employ someone to arrange the order of appearance, as I simply couldn't place one above the other! * Bob Dylan ( alot of albums! ) I love Bob, his lyrics are brilliant, and his music is festie worthy. Setlist to include On The Road Again, Bob Dylan's 115th Dream, Maggies Farm, Subterranean Homesick Blues, Like A Rolling Stone, Highway 61 Revisited. * The
Dandy Warhols ( The Dandys Rule OK?, Come Down, Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia ) Now, I've already seen them live, and believe you me, they are Good!!! It's a shame that due to a rather overplayed advertising campaign, courtesy of Vodaphone, The Dandys have yet to truly make thier mark here in the UK. They are Gods in Australia, I believe. And yes, they would have Genius on thier setlist. * Primal Scream ( Screamadelica, XTRMNTR, Evil Heat...and the rest) Again, I've seen them already, and they are brilliant live. The setlist would definately include Kill All Hippes, Rise, MBV Arkestra, Come Together ) * Pink Floyd ( The Piper At The Gated Of Dawn, Obscurred By Clouds, Relics, Dark Side Of The Moon, The Wall and so on and on and on...) Oh, my dream come true! And the setlist would be....The entire Pulse concert please! Possibly followed by ' The Wall ' concert. Oh alright, you can play one on Friday, the other on Saturday. Sorted! * Metallica ( Kill 'em All, Master Of Puppets, And Justice For All, The Black Album...more...) I used to love Metallica way back in 1988, when they released ' And Justice For All '. I thought to myself...Rock doesn't get better than this! ( C'mon, I was 15! ) I've not been too impressed with any album they made since The Black Album, so they're playing for the memories! Setlist would HAVE to contain One, Enter Sandman, Unforgiven, And Justice For All, Welcome Home ( Sanitarium ), Battery, Wherever I may Roam. * Ozzy Osbourne , (Blizzard Of Oz, The Ozzman Cometh, No More Tears and then some! ) with a special appearance from Black Sabbath, but mainly Ozzys Solo stuff! ( Paranoid, Master Of Reality, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Heaven & Hell, Live Evil....loads more) + The entire Osbourne entourage. I have to admit, I was never overly keen on Black Sabbath, but I did, and still do, love Ozzy. Setlist to in
clude No More Tears, Mama I'm Coming Home ( I want him on one knee singing this to Sharron lol ), Stayin' Alive ( do a search at Kazaa lol ) War Pigs, Crazy Train, Bark At The Moon. * The Chemical Brothers ( Exit Planet Dust, Dig Your Own Hole, Brothers Gonna Work It Out, Surrender, Come With Us, lots of others ) Now, I've not yet managed to catch these live, but I've heard they're fantastic. So, bring 'em on. Setlist to contain Brothers Gonna Work It Out, Setting Sun, Block Rockin' Beats, Where Do I Begin, Come With Us. * Groove Armada ( Goodbye Country, Hello Nightclub, Lovebox, Back To Mine, Northern Star, More ) I like this band alot. They'd have to be abit careful when they played the set at my festival, don't want everyone falling asleep, so save the more ambient stuff for later, lads! But then, they are Gods live, I've seen them already! Setlist must contain If Everybody Looked The Same, I see You Baby, Superstylin'. OK, we have our ' Headliners '. The following is a list of some of my personal faves, not quite of God status, but given time and a few more great albums, who knows? They'll be filling the spaces on my festival itinery, to make for the best festie I'll ever go to. Mine! * Black Rebel Motorcycle Club ( B.R.M.C. ) Saw them at Brixton supporting Primal Scream - Brilliant. Thier first album was great, long live Black Rebel! * Dirty Vegas ( Dirty Vegas ) Thier album was in my top 3 of 2002. Brilliant band. Even better live, thier frontman can play the bongos like you wouldn't believe! Long live Dirty Vegas! * Basement Jaxx ( Rooty, Remedy, some remix stuff ) I think they're brilliant, and I've not yet seen the live, so I'd love to have them play at my festie! * Orbital ( Snivillization, In Sides, more ) I love 'em! Some of thier stuffs a bit too weird for peak festie tim
es though, so shove 'em on when it's really dark, that's what I say! * The Ramones ( Mania, Rocket To Russia, a shedload more...) I used to collect thier albums when I was a kid, all second hand vinyl from a shop called ' Select-A-Disc '. Half of them might be dead, but they're still a great rock n roll band worthy of my festie. * Apollo 440 ( Electoglide In Blue, Gettin' High On Your Own Supply ) I have great memories that I associate with Apollo 440, the above two albums always seem to come with us on our summer holidays. It would be great to see them live. ** ~ Dodgy Guest Appearances From - ~** Michael Jackson - Seen wondering the site in the Grim Reapers Outfit, humming ' Kill 'em All ', being chased by Jimmy Hendrix with a sawn off guitar. Tori Amos - Duetting with Bob Dylan, a one time only performance of ' Crazy For You ' ( Madonna ) Cliff Richard - To be found hiding under his chair crying whilst watching The Excorcist at 3am, being comforted by Christopher Lee. Elvis Presley - performing some of his funkier numbers as a special guest of Fatboy Slim, who is the resident DJ in the dance tent during the early hours of Saturday morning. I could keep going forever....so many bands, so little time, and I'm sure anyone reading must be getting sleepy by now. So, if you want a good time, with good music, bad food and a shedload of Soma, come visit is in summer 2003. You know you want to!
It would have to be in a converted field somewhere (probably at Balado or Kinross where they have T in the Park) in Scotland. Why? Because I live in Scotland, goddammit, and we have NO metal festivals, only braindead pop 'events'. Ozzfest was the shit and well worth travelling but this time other people can get a 500 mile coach trip - not me. I would also like a limited crowd size (as long as I'M in it - hell, it's MY friggin festival after all) as I prefer smaller, more intimate gigs than soulless arena shows (only a few bands can pull these off). Things would kick off with Raging Speedhorn tearing shit up and providing a nice warm up for the crowd. This would quickly be followed by Seth (an unsigned band from Glasgow who really deserve a deal - check out www.seth1.co.uk if you like true metal) who i'm sure would play to the high standard that they always do in pubs and clubs around Glasgow, land a multi million pound record deal and become huge. As a prelude to the big bands coming on, Skindred would turn up unexpectedely, kick arse with their heavied up ragga-punk-metal show, make the moshpit go crazy and leave about 10,000 people chuffed but confused as to who they'd just seen (Skindred are criminally underlooked). That would be the 3 best bands in Britain as opening acts. Now for the heavyweights... Biohazard would come on and lay the Brooklyn beatdown on the pit. Yes, the lyrics are retarded, but the riffs are top class, the beat and groove is awesome and their experience means they would be a surefire success. System of a Down would come next (as a surprise to keep the teenyboppers away from this gig - I don't need no mini moshers fucking things up for everyone else here) and the crowd would go apeshit. Christ, the fans already think that they've had their moneys worth! Soulfly are next and Max Cavalera shows that he can still fock sheet up and make the crowd go fucking cr
azy. Everyone in the crowd is mesmerised by the man with the strongest throat in history and riffs that would make a paraplegic get up and mosh. Chants of 'Soulfly' and 'Hail Max' ring out. Jesus christ, look who it is - it's Lynn Strait!!! And he's ALIVE!!! I guess rumours of his death were greatly exaggerated (for some reason) and Snot are on stage tearing shit up and plastering a grin on EVERY single person for 3 miles. Bloody hell, how did that happen??? Who should come on next but Pan-fuckin-tera (hell, yeah). What more can I say? Pantera's awesome brand of redneck groove/thrash/fucking H-E-A-V-Y would have metalheads of all shapes and sizes grinning, moshing, whooping and a hollering. And drinking beer. Lots of beer. Billed as headliners, Slayer are quite possibly the finest live band in the world. Having seen them, I was blown away. I wasn't even expecting that good a set from them but they were THE SHIT!!! Razor sharp, super tight, consistantly brutal - Slayer have honed their live skills to perfection. Awesome stage presence, even with the limited dialogue Tom Araya has with the crowd, the crowd are always transfixed. Slayer make the crowd headbang until their heads fall off, their experience would make them the perfect headliners for this festival. Or would it......... Completely by surprise, Max comes on with the original Sepultura, they have reformed for one gig only!!! My biggest regret is that I never seen Sepultura with Max. This would be the hardcore metal equivalent to seeing Jimi at woodstock. Sepultura were, for me, THE finest band on the planet from 1993-1996. Igor Cavalera amazes the crowd with unbelievable drumming (he IS the best drummer on Earth), Andreas Kisser riffs out the heaviest tunes known to man, Paulo Jr goes fucking apeshit and Max astounds the crowd even more than he did with Soulfly. Then I wake up with a wet crotch, wondering where the hell I
am and what the fuck just happened.... THE ORIGINAL SEPULTURA SLAYER PANTERA SNOT(!) SOULFLY SYSTEM OF A DOWN BIOHAZARD Skindred Seth Raging Speedhorn What a show..........
The time is immaterial. Several of these performers had passed away by 2002, but this is what fantasy line-ups are all about (or should be). The place is Hyde Park, the occasion a huge free open-air gig in so-so weather – dull, slightly cloudy skies, not too hot, but perfectly dry. By sheer good luck the tubes were running OK, slightly crowded but no more than usual. I’d just found myself a good place near the front of the crowds as the buzz was getting louder, when – good grief, ROLF HARRIS – came onstage. He offered us a choice between ‘Stairway To Heaven’ and drawing a couple of pictures on his easel. Now, Rolf is a lovely guy. We didn’t want to upset him, so we voted for the pictures. He had a mic attached to his lapel, and I’d swear he was singing ‘Two Little Boys’ under his breath. A few people near me were joining in gently and trying not to look too conspicuous. Then he introduced LONDON. A punk and new wave quartet formed in, er, London at the end of 1976, they made two singles, a EP, and an LP before splitting. Fronted by Riff Regan (a.k.a. Miles Tredinnick) and future Culture Club drummer Jon Moss, their anthems ‘Everyone’s A Winner’ and ‘Summer Of Love’ got everyone between the ages of 20 and 50 jumping around, some less sedately than others. Miles formed a band at school called Cobweb with a certain dooyoo member, and said member later formed a band on his home patch of South Devon which went through various line-ups and name changes (Gremlyn and Burn were the ones which lasted the longest) before calling a halt in the late 70s. Some of these joined London onstage for a rather ragged version of ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’ at the end of their set. Next were the TREMELOES, who backed singer Brian Poole (whose daughters Shellie and Sharon are the mainstay of Alisha’s Attic) in the early 60s, before splitting with him
and enjoying even greater success in their own right. Even in their 50s, the surviving members plus newer pairs of hands are playing the nostalgia circuit. Within a few minutes of starting, we were all looning around to ‘Do You Love Me’, singing along to ‘Even The Bad Times Are Good’, and pausing for breath to enjoy those harmonies on ‘Silence Is Golden’. No. 3 on the bill were MUNGO JERRY. Having started out as a drummerless blues and skiffle band, they later became a glam rock-meets-rock’n’roll outfit, and nowadays can be either a six-piece rock band or front man Ray Dorset plus a washboard player or even (heaven help us) a karaoke machine. This time, thankfully, backing tapes were dispensed with as he brought half a dozen musicians on for a selection of oldies including ‘In The Summertime’, ‘Alright Alright Alright’, ‘Baby Jump’ and a handful of call-and-respond singalongs. After all that partying, time for something a little more restrained. What better than a set from JUDIE TZUKE, much-underrated chanteuse whose band was guaranteed to offer us a contrast with a few tasteful ballads and a hint of jazz, culminating in her classic ‘Stay With Me Till Dawn’. Something folksy was then provided by an all-star folk and roots band, including (take a deep breath), RICHARD THOMPSON, MADDY PRIOR, various former members of STEELEYE SPAN and FAIRPORT CONVENTION, plus the CHIEFTAINS and the CORRS. You’d never heard so many concertinas, bodhrans, Uillean pipes and tin whistles on stage together before. Oh – and were those a couple of the DUBLINERS in the corner too? A medley of Irish jugs and reels, followed by ‘All Around My Hat’ and ‘The Irish Rover’ had us all suitably exhausted and hoarse by the time they leave the stage. During a brief interlude, BEN ELTON came on to tell us some anti-government jok
es about how good the National Health Service and public transport used to be. Just as he was getting to the punchline his mic went mysteriously dead. However, by then a grand reunion of members of THE MOVE and ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA was ready, with Roy Wood, Jeff Lynne, Carl Wayne and Bev Bevan plus assorted guitarists, sax players and a string section. They moved seamlessly through a handful of the greats, from ‘See My Baby Jive’, and ‘Fire Brigade’, to ‘Flowers In The Rain’, ‘Mr Blue Sky’, and to close, ‘Roll Over Beethoven’. Rumour had it that CLIFF RICHARD was going to perform a duet with MEL C or GEORGE MICHAEL. Now that really would have been a fantasy. The two latter didn’t show up, but Cliff appeared in a white suit that someone suggested he borrowed from Martin Bell, plus a band led by Brian May, to play half a dozen of the oldies plus an instrumental that started off as ‘Apache’ and finished up as ‘We Will Rock You’. If there’s one British act that can rival Cliff and Queen in the ‘British institution’ stakes, it’s got to be STATUS QUO. “You all right, then?” Francis Rossi shouted at us before the familiar strains of ‘Whatever You Want’ and ‘Rockin’ All Over The World’ had everyone behaving foolishly and loving every second of it. After they left the stage, there was a 20-minute interval with certain sections of the audience getting increasingly restless, word went round that something very special was coming up. Sure enough, when the curtain rose, it revealed a darkened stage with the sounds of shuffling about and several people sorting out instruments in near-darkness. Then a spotlight picked out BOB DYLAN striking the opening chords to ‘Like A Rolling Stone’, with an invisible band in the shadows accompanying him, plus a vaguely familiar colle
ction of three people hovering round a mike singing backing vocals on the chorus. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, MICK JAGGER and BONNIE RAITT? Either that, or this was one pretty stunningly rocktastic ‘Stars In Your Eyes’. A thunderous version of ‘Born To Run’ with the spotlight on The Boss came next, then the lights brightened and we saw a band of a dozen so onstage. Blow me down if it wasn’t ‘Brown Sugar’ after that, and though we couldn’t pick out any sign of Keith Richard, Brian May was back doing the honours on guitar. Plus a small but vaguely familiar presence beside him – yes, DAVE EDMUNDS, who tacked a snatch of ‘Sabre Dance’, then a couple of verses and choruses of ‘I Hear You Knockin’ on the end. The applause had just died down and we were wondering how much better the show could get, when a disembodied voice asked us to put our hands together for Paul, George and Ringo. Astonishing, isn’t it, how many classic songs from the era you can recognize from just the first couple of chords. GEORGE HARRISON struck up that oh-so familiar intro on acoustic guitar, PAUL McCARTNEY pulled off that spine-tingling lead solo, and it seems like the whole world was singing along to ‘My Sweet Lord’. Just as it was dying down and we all thought, “what next, ‘Yellow Submarine’?”, we were saved with a stirring ‘Get Back’ – and somehow it just never sounded better. Again, the applause died down, the lights dimmed, and we noticed more shuffling around onstage. Then the whole area was bathed in bright light, and a familiar tall figure stepped to the front as he announced through the mic, “OK, if you’re gonna cock it up, you might as well – “ The rest of his words were drowned in a torrent of applause, boos and catcalls. We looked just behind BOB GELDOF and we made out a host of other household nam
es – ELTON JOHN on piano, GERI HALLIWELL in half a dress, ROBBIE WILLIAMS and LIAM GALLAGHER glaring fiercely at each other while a couple of stage hands twice their size tried to keep them apart. Something had happened to the p.a. system, and I couldn’t for the life of me work out whether the final number was meant to be ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’, ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’ or ‘Johnny B. Goode’ – the sound mix was diabolical, and I kept hearing bits of each. And heaven forbid, was it really the prime minister on guitar, or just some joker wearing a face mask? Anyway, he obviously learnt his miming skills [sic] on ‘Top Of The Pops’. Never mind. It was worth it, just to see all those people together for one evening. I just turned to my neighbour, punched my fist in the air, and shouted “Woohoo!” Then I hit the bedside table and the alarm clock went…
Well, I am afraid that by writing my fourth opinion in 24 hours that Mauri may well call me a churner, but the other three had been in the pipeline for a couple of weeks, and were finally submitted and polished up somewhat yesterday. Explanations aside, when I saw this review I could not resist but to make my own Rock Fest, so if there are any teeny boppers reading, prepare to see actual musicians mentioned, and not people who mime and nonce about on stage. We are about to enter Blonde Fest 2002, 3 days of rock, indie and downright metal. I have been looking forward to getting the chance to write something like this even more so than i looked forward to doing my room 10Blonde review. To those unfamiliar with me, reading my reviews, it is easily apparent that I love rock music, and that there is no room for pop in this Fest. Although there is definite room for several beer tents. Read on my friends, I hope you enjoy! *********** *Fest Name* *********** Blonde Fest 2002 ********** *Sponsors* ********** Dooyoo Kerrang Stella Artois Guinness **************** *Bands Featured* **************** U2 Blur Stereophonics Manic Street Preachers Muse Linkin Park Iron Maiden AC/DC Megadeth (For One Night Only) Motorhead System Of A Down Alice Cooper Aerosmith Deftones ****************** -HEADLINING BAND- ****************** It was only ever going to be the almighty METALLICA wasn't it now. ********************** *Facilities available* ********************** There will be several toilets, portaloos are the most likely. The restaurants/eating places will include: McDonalds, Burger King, A Hawaiian Burger Joint, Domin
oes Pizza. There will be places for vegetarians to eat also. There will be 8 beer tents dotted around the festival site. These will serve a variety of alcoholic and none alcoholic beverages, but will also have a strong supply of the aforementioned sponsor’s products. There will also be a Guineas tent, where their merchandise will be available. There will be a large area for those who are camping, the paths to stages and to the camp areas will be proper paths, in order to aid against the mud problem, common to most 3-day festivals. The car park will have coach/car and motorcycle parking. There will be tents that sell festival merchandise around the event. All proceeds will go towards paying the world debt (Bono from U2 will be playing the festival after all). ****** *Fees* ****** 1 Day Pass - £25 (8AM - 12AM) 2 Day Pass - £60 (8AM - 12AM, camp fees included, Pass lasts for 2 days) Full Weekend Pass - £100 ************************** *How the Bands Will Line-Up* ************************** Friday 12:00 PM 12:00 – 14:30 Stereophonics. These will play a variety of tracks from all three albums. The Phonics will be the First band to play this prestigious event, so please, show some respect and give them a good welcome. They will in effect be the warm up band for the festival, their mellow indie style will start the crowd off. They will perform some of the more rock-aimed tracks such as Bartender and the Thief, aswell as some of the softer ones such as "Just Looking". They are here to get the crowd warmed up as we start to wind things up towards what will hopefully be a fantastic finale on Saturday night. 14:30 – 17:00 I select Blur for my next time slot. Fantastic range of music, Song 2 alone will psyche the crowd up. Their variety of music may not appeal to all people at the Fest, but they ha
ve something for everyone. A real crowd pleaser, with lots of music to wet the appetite for the harder metal session that will happen on Saturday. 17:00 – 19:30 Muse will kick the evening’s festivities off with anything they wish to play, I feel they are the best British “newcomers” For a couple of years, they have real purpose to their music, which should have the crowds wowed. This band can do it all, they can be mellow, they can rock, they use a variety of instruments, all of which adds great depth to the performance that they will give 19:30 – 22:00 Manic Street Preachers. Under most circumstances I would have these as my headlining band for the first night of the festival, but under the circumstances that I want the roof to raise off the floor, I think that tonight’s headliners will need to be more metal/heavy rock orientated. Manics have been going for donkey’s years and they have a vast discography. They can do mellow, and they can do rock. Politically orientated, and out to set the festival’s first night on fire, the Manics will rock. 22:00 – 00:00 Linkin Park. I will shorten Linkin Park’s session because they currently have only one album released, and may not have the material to carry a 2 and a half-hour set. They do however, have the freedom to play on if they feel like it. I want these to headline tonight’s festivities as they have a huge following, and they can rock the hell out of any festival that they play. The only thing that is left to say is that hopefully after tonight’s line up, and the amount of alcohol that will have been drunk, it is a safe bet that people will be “Crawlin” home! Bands will be free to jam through the night, and the beer tents will not be closing throughout the weekend. The campsite will be far enough away from the main stage so that sleep will be an option, especia
lly as bands will most likely choose to play through the night of their own free will. ************* *SATURDAY* ************* 08:00 – 10:00 We will start today with breakfast, if there is a band on stage, they will either be rehearsing or they will be warming up. The crowd can watch if they wish too. There will be food available throughout the day, but please remember that McDonalds stop serving breakfasts at 10:30 AM! 10:00 – 12:30 Alice Cooper will start us off for today, not too heavy for a starting band, but heavy enough to maintain last night’s momentum. Classics such as School’s out, Feed My Frankenstein and Poison will all be definites. The stage show theatrics may suit a later slot slightly better, but the music itself will give the crowd a welcome boost as the festival kicks off for day 2. 12:30 – 15:00 U2. Bono and company are going to start to make the rock music come to light, so far we have had some bands that have been mellow, some that have been heavyish. Now we will introduce our first of the mega-bands, the ones that are firmly established as being innovators of bringing rock music back to the forefront of the music industry. Let’s just hope Bono doesn’t choose to rant too much after the music ceases. 15:00 – 17:30 The Deftones will be given this slot, hard metal, new school, and they have attitude, all that they need for this segment, as I want this to be the show that welcomes in the heavier stuff. We are about to enter the evening session. Tonight will be the night that the Festival’s overall headlining band will do their stuff, so the music needs to be really pushed to crank the volume and pace of the bands up, building to a hell of a climax for the headlining session. Deftones are going to be the start of this. 17:30 – 20:00 Megadeth will continue what Deftones start.
Back together for one night only. They will take us back to the old school with their performance, and really start to kick the true metal rails into place. Megadeth will set the show alight, it is up to the rest of the show to make the light burn and shine even brighter. 20:00 – 22:30 Motorhead. The main band that Metallica based their music on, what better way to get the headlining band introduced. They have a massive discography of music that will be suitable for this kind of gig. A real rock band, with Lemmy, middle aged and amazing as a vocalist. Bound to make the show come to life. ********************* *HEADLINING BAND* ********************* 22:30 – Till whenever the hell they like METALLICA. The Kings Of Heavy Metal. Hetfield, Ulrich, Hammett, and a mystery base player will take to the stage, and if the festival was not already alight, these will have it blazing. The top band in the world, they will play as many songs as they want to, ranging from the classics like The Four Horsemen, all the way through to some of the newer songs such as King Nothing. They will play for the crowd, and maybe even just do what they do best and start to jam half way through the set. They will wow the audience until they cannot be wowed any more. They will take the heaviness of the festival, and make it heavier. Prepare for it, Metallica have entered the building!!!!! ********** *SUNDAY* ********** 08:00 – 11:00 A longer breakfast period may well be needed this morning, after the heavier music kicked in yesterday the crowd may well need time to rest, and to restock on food. McDonalds breakfasts will be requested to stay going throughout the day for today only, because some of the meals are somewhat larger than may be needed. The other food outlets may well decide to provide a breakfast menu for the weekend, although it will not necessarily be required. <
br>11:00 – 13:30 We will start the final day with something old school I think. I feel that a little Iron Maiden would suit this part of the day quite well. Vast discography, can be mellow, can be heavy, and besides, what better way to start a final day of a rock festival than hearing the infamous words of Sir Winston Churchill, we will indeed “fight them on the beaches……….” 13:30 – 16:00 As we are going to make this the final night of the festival, I feel that we will need to wind down somewhat after such a heavy weekend……. NOT! AC/DC are going to take to the stage for this performance. They are one of the oldest of the old school, and they will lift the tent from the floor tonight. They will play a selection of their choice, as have all of the bands, and they hopefully will show some of the young whippersnappers what rock music is all about. 16:00 – 18:30 Aerosmith will take the stage for the second to last performance of the festival. Yes I did steal the idea for Aerosmith from Wayne Stock, but then again, they are a band that I do actually think are a dam good band, so why the hell not eh, I am running this show afterall. They will play a selection of music from “Love in an Elevator” right through to “Walk This Way”. 18:30 – 22:00 The final band of the entire festival, and what a weekend it has been. I feel that the weekend is memorable now, but it needs something with substance and a hell of a fast pace in order for the crowd to leave on a total high. Hence my decision to hold System Of A Down back until this point. It is time to allow the Iranian speed metalists take the centre stage, and leave the crowds totally exhausted after such a weekend of music. The sheer pace of System will drain the crowd of the last bits of energy that they posses, and leave them on a total high. The show will finish e
arly tonight, as crowds may wish to leave either after System cease playing, or early tomorrow morning. The times set for each band would not necessarily be held strictly in place, but then who is complaining really after such a line-up. System are supposed to finish at 22:00, but nobody is going to stop them if they decide to play for a little longer. I hope you have enjoyed reading this review as much as I have enjoyed writing it. As you have probably noticed I have really got into this review and have spent the last 4 hours on it, carefully deciding on where the bands would play. I wanted the headlining band (Metallica) to play on Saturday night instead of Sunday, because I wanted the crowd to be on a total high, and if I had left it until Sunday there would be tiredness setting in. No offence is meant to System Of A Down, any one of the bands in this review could have taken that stage for the final show, with the only exception being Metallica of course. Thanks for reading the review. It has been a real pleasure to write this one!
Firstly, I have to say that this is a gem of a category isn’t it? For those of you who don’t like pop music, click away now, cos this is going to be a bit of a pop fest (sorry). Hmm, ‘Pop Fest’- good name for my festival? Maybe. But there are going to be a few elements of rock in my festival too, so that wouldn’t fit. I’m going to keep it short and sweet (like me!): LaurenFest2002. A bit like Ozzfest, but what the hey? He won’t find out I’ve copied him, will he?! Ok, here goes: I think I’d like LaurenFest2002 to last for three days…In my opinion, any more is too much, any less is too little. It would be a weekend festival (from Friday to Sunday), cos everybody loves the weekend, and I just think it would be more fun that way. My guests could stay for the whole weekend if they wanted to, and hire out one of my deluxe, state-of-the-art caravans on-site. Or they could just pick and choose which parts of the festival they’d like to see, and go home and return, go home and return…You get the picture. The good thing about LaurenFest2002 taking place at the weekend is that festival goers wouldn’t have to worry about missing work the next day (a minor detail, I know, but still very crucial!). Students wouldn’t have to worry about college/uni or anything, cos my festival will be in the summer: I couldn’t stand having a festival in the winter, when it’s all cold and wet. Saying that, the weather isn’t too great in the summer either (after all, this is Britain we’re talking about), so I want to choose that too (unrealistic, but hey- it’s my festival!). Hmm…I’m going to go for the obvious choice, and say it will be very sunny and warm, with clear blue skies and fluffy white clouds…One might wonder why I don’t want to hold my festival in another country with a hotter climate (like Australia), but Britain is my native co
untry and I should show some patriotism. Oh yes, and I want it to be easy for the festival goers to commute to LaurenFest2002: There’d be a lack of interest if it was taking place halfway across the world, and I don’t want that. I’m not really sure where I’d hold the festival…Maybe a seaside resort like Newquay in Cornwall, where the air is clean and fresh, and the seagulls friendly. Newquay is a pretty good place actually, cos a lot of young people go there around summertime anyway. Two bonuses with that: More people will want to come to my festival, and there are more people for my guests to get off with. I have to be considerate for others, or else this just won’t work out! As I’m not really too familiar with Newquay, I don’t know of the exact whereabouts of everything. Obviously, it would be an outdoor festival, but I’m not entirely sure where it would be. Ok, here are my options: - The beach Sounds like a nice idea, but what happens when the tide comes in…? I don’t want my guests to drown or anything, do I? And then there’s all that expensive musical equipment to think about too. So, as lovely as it sounds, it won’t be the beach then! - A large supermarket car park A depressing choice, I know, but I’ve got to consider all options! Nah, too much concrete for me, I want something beautiful and grassy… - A nice, large open space of, erm…grass A field then, basically, albeit a very attractive one. It would be very close to the beach, so my guests can have a nice view of the sea, and watch the surfers and stuff. Ok, so I’ve got my location sorted. And now for the amenities, such as restaurants/takeaways and toilets, etc. I don’t want to discriminate against anyone’s eating habits, so I’ll try to offer something for everyone. Firstly and forth most, I’ll have to do the selfish t
hing, and cater for myself: On site, there will be two Pizza Huts, and either side of the venue. And there’ll also be a nice vegetarian café, which would offer culinary delights such as Quorn sausages, and salad, etc. Here’s the list of all the restaurants/eateries there’ll be: -McDonald’s: There has to be really, doesn’t there? Although I’m not really into it, I know many people who are, and I have to keep my guests happy… -Burger King: See above. -KFC: Erm, see above. -An Indian restaurant/take-away: May cause some unpleasant odours in my festival, but who doesn’t love a good curry?! -A fish and chip shop: Of course! Life itself wouldn’t be complete without the great English chippy!! -A jacket potato shop: Strange choice, some might think, but a jacket is both tasty and filling, and would be an excellent choice for my worn-out guests! -Chinese restaurant/take-away: Again, I’m not really into this, but many like to tuck in to a carton of egg fried rice accompanied by a helping of beefy stuff in a sweet and sour sauce. Or whatever. -An American-style diner: You know the type, huge hamburgers, thick milkshakes…All the really fatty stuff basically. -A deli-style take-away: For the more healthy among you. -A traditional, nice restaurant: This one will be the one all the romantic types will go to…The three-course meal, “first-date” style place. And that’s about it methinks! For restaurants anyway. Now on to toilets. As I’ve already mentioned, my guests will have the opportunity to stay in one of my deluxe caravans on-site (if they wish). However, for all the day visitors (and those who can’t be bothered walking all the way back to their caravan for a wee), there needs to be adequate toilet facilities. NO PORTALOOS IN MY FESTIVAL!! Oh no- there’ll be nice, fully-equipped loos dotted all over the venu
e, and I will not stand for any mess made! I want everything to be perfect basically. I don’t want any rubbish littered around either, so there’ll be a hefty number of bins dotted around too. There’s no excuse then! Other facilities will include: -An outdoor water-world, for cooling down periods. -A number of gift shops, to buy souvenirs of this great occasion (!). -A couple of traditional pubs, and a handful of slick, trendy bars. -An internet café (to catch up with what’s going on on Dooyoo, of course!). Ok, so maybe I’m being slightly extravagant. But like I said, it’s my festival! Now I’ve described what the venue (etc) will be like, I’ll move on to the actual acts, and the sequence of events: Friday Guests arrive in the afternoon, and the stage is set up for the legendary Beatles. Now, what a show-opener that would be! Of course, I am aware that half of the Beatles aren’t with us anymore, but this is a fantasy, right? Their opening song would be ‘Help’, to get the crowd going. They will perform 5 songs in total, the rest being ‘Yesterday’, ‘Strawberry Fields’, ‘She Loves You’, and ‘Penny Lane’ (in no particular order). They would finish their set around 5pm, after two magical hours. Next up would be Take That. What a challenge it would be for them to follow the Beatles, hey?! Now, I was a big fan of Take That when I was younger, but never got the chance to see them, so I’d like to see what they’re like live. They would perform a selection of tracks, from the classic ‘Pray’, to more modern songs such as ‘Back For Good’. Their set would finish around 8pm, where there’ll be a late tea break for my guests (where they can visit one of the fab eateries on-site!). After a couple of hours, No Doubt will finish the night off with a set of
tracks from their earlier days, such as ‘Don’t Speak’, and ‘Just A Girl’. As night falls, people can either retreat back to their caravans (or home), or go to the pub. Saturday Steps will start the morning off at 10am, with their summery tracks, and upbeat dance routines. They’re sure to wake everyone up! They will play the following tracks: -Love’s Got A Hold On My Heart -Tragedy -Stomp -Chain Reaction All of which are very positive, happy songs: The perfect way to the start the day! After the excitement of Steps, there’ll be an hour lunch break, when the next act, Blink 182 can set up their stuff. I like Blink, and I’d like them to add a bit of diversity to LaurenFest2002, so it’s not just pop pop pop. They will play classics such as ‘Dammit’ and ‘Anthem’, and more well-known hits, such as ‘All The Small Things’, and ‘Rock Show’. They’ll even play the naughty stuff, such as ‘F**k a Dog’, cos I’d like a bit of humour in my festival. Blink will play for quite a while, until 5pm. After a short tea break, the Beach Boys are up on stage, to get us all in the mood for Saturday night festivities, when they’ll perform well-known songs like ‘Surfin’ USA’. The said festivities include a massive party, and evryone's invited! There'll be a huge game of Twister, and a pop/rock stars lookalike contest. If you win, you get to go backstage tomorrow, to meet the stars! What a fab day! I’m very impressed with my excellent festival planning! Sunday (final day!) All my guests have to be gone for around 5pm, so this is a bit of a short day. To start with (at 10am), Spandau Ballet take to the stage to perform classics such as ‘Gold’ (of course!), ‘True’ and ‘Through the Barricades’. I’m really
starting to want this festival now! Spandau will finish at around 12pm, when there’ll be a break. At 1pm, Kylie will perform all of her best hits, from ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ to ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’. Finishing with the title song from her latest album ‘Fever’, this is the perfect end to a perfect festival. I hoped you all liked my ideas! Whilst the music might not be to your taste, I hope you can appreciate my ‘fantasy festival’ idea. If it was real, I’d definitely invite you all (at a reasonable cost!)! Also, I'd like to add that there would be no discrimination at LaurenFest2002, and everone would be welcome :)
It's that time of year again when all of the festivals start to name their line ups, and normally each festival has a couple of acts I like, but the rest of the line up never takes my fancy enough for me to part with my money. Now in my own mind at least, I am going to put that right. The location of my fantasy festival will be in the grounds of mansion I have purchased since winning millions on the lottery. (This is my fantasy, so stick with me please!) It will take place in the height of the summer on a Saturday in July. The opening act would be Travis. Many people would have these as the top of the bill, but I think they are the perfect opening act to get the select crowd of friends, families and celebrities warmed up for the rest of the afternoon. Stereophonics would take to the stage next for their set, and would focus on material from the earlier albums, rather than J.E.E.P. Kelly would get me up on stage to sing along to 'Local Boy In A Photograph', as that is my favourite all time Stereophonics song. Wheatus have been slated by many people, but I think they are the perfect band to have on to lift the mood of the crowd, and get them up on their feet, whilst singing the words to 'Teenage Dirtbag'. Next up, and still quite low down the bill is Robbie Williams, and here I score some big brownie points with NikkiH, as she swoons and screams at Robbie's antics, cries through 'Angels' and dances her feet off when the opening bars of 'Rock DJ' are heard. He then joins her in the crowd to watch the rest of the acts, and I am free to have fun. (She knows I am only jesting). In order to watch my excitement levels, I have put my 2nd favourite group in the middle of the line up. Linkin Park have been such a revelation, and have amusingly been accused of being a manufactured boy band, which is very funny. Their opening number would be 'Crawlin', with Chester Bennington sp
orting a stylish black and white hairdo, in admiration of his new love Newcastle United. Ash and their powerful brand of from the heart guitar based music, wow the crowd next. They do a cover version of David Gray's 'Babylon, which goes down well with David, as he sinks another pint of Guiness on the veranda of the house. Upping the tempo and swear word count next with Blink 182. The mad Americans appear on stage completely naked apart from strategically placed socks a la Red Hot Chilli Peppers. They bring on special guests Sum 41, and do an amazing rendition of Prince's 'Let's Go Crazy', and the crowd duly oblige. My new friends U2 take the stage next, without the usual lighting and spectacular stage show they have become famous for. Instead, this time the giys from U2 perform a 1 hour long acoustic set, which is thoroughly enjoyed by the crowd. For many people, the penultimate act Muse may seem like a strange choice, but for me their style of music, is a great way to follow on from the acoustic brilliance of U2, and this is an ideal forum on which to introduce people to the music of Muse. My ultimate fantasy line up could never be complete without the magnificent Foo Fighters, and if all goes well I should see them in T In The Park in August. They perform a mammoth 2 hour set, full of all my favourite tracks, 'Walking After You', 'My Hero', and 'Monkey Wrench'. The party carries on into the night, and it is a day that is remembered forever, until I realise that it is all fantasy.
My ideal festival would be set in leeds as near as possible to me but as far away from thieving drunken idiots as possible. I would call it 'gavlands', and admission would be free and drinks and food would be charged at minimal prices(to cover expenses). There would be four main tents, one for each of my favourite type of music: Punk, Hip Hop/rap, drum and bass, and indie/Rock/Folk etc. There would also be little tents for local Dj's to set up and an area for performers such as comedians and breakers. The sun would be beaming down, and people would be laid on the fresh grass getting munted. 'Gavlands' would be a two day festival, saturday and sunday, finish late sunday night. Aswell as music there would be many types of entertainment, fire breathing, break dancing, that sort of thing and the toilets would be cleaned by local prisoner chain gangs (ha ha) and kept lovely and clean. Here is a line up for each tent:(some of these artist might be dead so don't be alarmed) In the punk/Ska tent: Saturday The Clash The Specials Jilted Jon (for his one hit) Sex Pistols The Jam The Cure The Ramones Siouxsie and the Banshee’s Buzzcocks The Pretenders In the Hip Hop, Trip Hop tent,Saturday Night: Souls of Mischief Invisible Scratch Pickles Cut Chemist DJ Krush& Shadow, double deck session Gravediggaz Ozomatli Killa Kella Grand Master Flash Sugerhill Gang Fingathing Coldcut Mr Scruff Roots Manuva DJ Cam Public Enemy Eric B + Rakim Redman De la Soul Jeru the Damaja Ultra magnetic MC’S And a free microphone for any wannabe freestylers of beatboxers In the drum + Bass DJ Krust Nicky BLack Market Grooverider + Fabio <br> Aphrodite LTJ Bukem Marcus Intalex Dillinja Shy FX T power Cause 4 COncern Mampi Swift Roni Size In the fourth tent Blondie Rolling Stones Bob Dylan Van Morrison Flaming Lips Nirvana Gomez Stone Roses Primal Scream The Doors Tito And Turantula Fun Loving Criminals Talking Heads Leonard Cohen Sting and the Police U2 Echo And the Bunnymen RadioHead R.E.M and more(to be added) (people have made comments abount why i have chosen these artists. well, because i like their tunes, usual reason really. i'm not giving a discription of each onebecause thats beside the point) i Will add more. Overall, there’d be no bad vibes, everyone would chill and get well and truly battered. NICE
Well, I don?t have much to think about to get my own fantasy festival, as it?s happening this summer in the form of The Ozzfest at Donington Park. Many of my favourite artists are going to be there including Tool, System of a Down, Cradle of Filth and the Lostprophets, so in that area I?m sorted! So, I am going to be greedy and create my very own fantasy festival which will more than compensate for the fact that I have to travel halfway across the country (well?ok, 100 miles) to get there. 6pm Friday night Me and my friends arrive at the campsite which has somehow been build around the Milton Keynes National Bowl. We set up our tents and our campfire, and then go along to a little tent which has been set up playing all sorts of rock and metal songs for our amusement. The alcohol is all free, and because of this my little friends who are under 18 can drink as well. Then, at about 9pm, we are all grooving in the temporary rock club when One Minute Silence turn up to give us a political speech and unexpected gig. A few people, including me and my friends are invited backstage to meet the band. 1am Saturday morning We all stumble back to our tents, which are assembled in a circle around a camp fire. We are so drunk that we decide to have a séance, and conjure up the spirit of Bob Marley who does an acoustic set for us, and us only, yay! Noon The first band is on stage ? Lostprophets. They play all their songs off of the album thefakesoundofprogress, but they sound slightly different. They are not a polished live band, but there are enough of them to make an exciting show. At one point, the lead singer crowd-dives and works his way to the back, they turns round and does it again. He does this while still singing and signing autographs, everyone is puzzled how he does this. We are all amazed that the lostprophets, who are a serious looking band, do a cover of the Teletubbies theme tune while some people dressed at Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,
Laa-laa and Po prance around giving people free money. 1pm Less Than Jake turn up on stage, with their mascot, the skeleton man. They play the best songs from their albums, including Gainesville Rock City and All My Best Friends Are Metal-heads. The band get the whole crowd jumping, pogoing and ska-dancing, and my skeleton does a tarzan and swings from a random rope on the stage. It is very sad when they stop playing. 2pm The third band are Boy Hits Car, a hippy-core band from California. They play all the songs from their album ?Boy Hits Car?, and they have a proper hippy/Indian rhythm section. The highlight is when Bob Marley comes and joins them for a rendition of their (in my opinion) best song, ?Turning Inward? which certainly gives them a new side. The performance is powerful and really exciting and they also play some new material which goes down well. 3pm There is no band on at the moment, and we all need a beer break. Unfortunately, the alcohol is not free, but only costs 50p a drink and there are so many bars that we don?t have to queue for longer than a minute. We go to the autograph tent and meet most of the artists who are playing, they are all very nice and give us free samples of all their albums because they love us so much. We then wander through the market in which they have so many clothes shop, and the tattoo and piercing booths. 4pm Right the next band is slightly less known to everyone, but is a personal favourite as they are from Milton Keynes like me! They are a ska band and always have energy filled gigs which get the crowd bouncing along with them. They play everything from their first album, ?Civil Disobedients?, and give us a special mention because they know that we come from Milton Keynes as well. Then some of the musicians from the audience are invited on stage to join in with a jam, and we all lay back in the sun as the punk reggae drifts over us. 5pm Next up is not
a proper band, but one made up of members from the Wildhearts, the Backyard Babies and the Hellacoptors, called super$hit666. So we all listen to this amazing (albeit short) set of their 6 garage rock songs from their album ?Super$hit666?. The band climax on ?Star Wars? an amazing song (which was also done by the Backyard Babies) with a really catchy riff. 6pm Next up, we have resurrected Kurt Cobain and reclaimed Christ and Dave from their own bands to get Nirvana as they were circa 1993. They miss out on ?Smells Like Teen Spirit?, because everyone is sooo fed up of it, but they play ?Love Buzz?, ?Dive? ?Aneurysm?, ?Come as you are?, ?New Wave Polly? and ?Breed? among others. The little Nirvana fans for once hear songs beyond ?Never Mind? and are truly astounded, and all the old fans are completely happy and excited. 7pm Here is another beer break, Malibu break for me. At the bar tent I bump into Kurt and congratulate him on his amazing performance in which he ended up completely trashing the stage. He is amazed that someone actually likes his band (he doesn?t see things quite as we do), and this cures his depression forever. 8pm Now, for some bizarre reason, Westlife have taken to their stage. They are dressed in what they think to be ?rock clothes? ? i.e. a 10cm dodgy keychain and a GAP hoodie. Through-out their set they do covers of System of a Down and Marilyn Manson and Metallica. They aren?t very good, neither is the guitaring that is fed to them through the speakers which they mime to. The reason for them? So that we can have a good time abusing them and throwing mouldy fruit! 9pm Now the real System of a Down come on stage complete with pogo sticks, and they launch into ?Bounce?. They then do a high speed rush through all of ?System of a Down? and ?Toxicity?, except ?Chop Suey? which just gets on my nerves. They finish of ?Johnny?, as lesser known song revolving around the lyrics ?Hello, my name is Johnny
?. 10pm And at long last, the first in the headliners. I have also seen them, and they were amazing ? Black Sabbath. They play all the classics, including some new ones which are on about the same level as ?Paranoid?. Ozzy has built a church on the stage and admits to everyone that he has become a Christian and the last song is a Gregorian chant which all the audience screams over. 11pm Jimi Hendrix makes a return to this world, just like Bob and Kurt through a strange séance performed by the festival organisers. He comes on stage in a puff of ?purple haze? which he starts performing. He is wearing a cheesy sparkly purple suit and whilst in heaven he grew some dreadlocks which were dyed orange. He is wearing a Rasta hat and some stilettos. Just when he is in the middle of ?Hey Joe?, Bob Marley comes on stage, and they jam together to do a Blink 182 song ? ?All The Small Things?, I think, and the results are hilarious. Midnight And it?s the final band, what I have been waiting for all along. Rage Against the Machine. They have reformed for this night only and because they have decided we are worthy. They go through the entire ?Rage Against the Machine? album, the highlight of which is ?Freedom?. At the end of ?Freedom?, Yap from One Minute Silence comes on stage and him and Zak start country dancing. Finally they sing ?Born of a Broken Man? together, with Yap acting as Jesus. The concert ends with the whole set going up in flames (but of course, no one is hurt) and everyone pleased that they have been to a once in a lifetime gig.
My ideal festival is one right out there in extreme fantasy land: all the bands performing would be ones that have either split irrepairably, or have dead members. Obviously the dead people would be revived as opposed to being operated like grotesque puppets and forced to mime along to backing tapes of their former glory... This short+sweet 1 dayer (3 dayers are just too hectic and 2 dayers are not quite so cool, and i dont like sleeping in mouldy damp tents) would start out with bands who have merely split up and therefore not reached the big success and immortalisation that untimely death brings. So lets start the day with a performance at midday with the fantastic and well lamented, by me anyway, Co.Uk (or Co_Dot as they annoyingly changed their name to) who would storm their way through such classics as "Freakazoid" and "Not Today". Hot on the heals of the Irish boys would be the fantastic Carrie. A band who split up to form Little Hell, Carrie were the ultimate pop-rock-punk-fun band with dark lyrics and lipstick to match. Next would come 3ColoursRed with their catchy punk-metal angst, and then the sublime Skunk Anansie would unleash their fantastic smooth/scary heavy-pop-rock stuff on a happy smiling crowd. Taking us into the evening now with the first of our classic cadaevers line-up would be the fantastic Richey-era Manic Street Preachers. It's hard to leave them so low on the bill as I have grown up with their music, but the "rather burn out than fade away" attitude of their early work would take the audience breathless through 40 minutes of rock'n'roll and self-loathing heaven. From "Crash and Burn" to "P.C.P", the Manics would pass the flame onto the anti-heros of Seattle: Nirvana. A dazzling display of slightly shoddy showmanship, coupled with random guitar noodling, occasional bouts of raw screeching, and some beautiful, beautiful songs laying bare
the soul of a generation would create the perfect atmosphere for some mellow funk. Enter Jimi Hendrix (no sniggering at the back) to take us on a rock journey, from a Foxy Lady, to a Voodoo Chile, before finally sacrificing his guitar before a rapturous crowd. Its getting late now, and its getting dark. The lights dim down to a mere shimmer and the national anthem starts to blare out of the P.A. But it sounds dirty, its distorted: IT ROCKS and Freddie Mercury's merry men parade onto the stage, the lead man dressed in full royal gear as Queen complete the festival a full ten years since their frontmans untimely demise. All the hits, from Tie Your Mother Down, through Seven Seas Of Rhye, to the final encore of Bohemian Rhapsody performed with a massive group of vocalists to its full extent. Freddies final piano chords still ringing in my thoughts, and the crowds hoarse yells echoing through my brain, I reflect on what must be the best day of my life. Suddenly I faintly hear the soft patter of rain falling on a window, and my alarm clock starts to buzz as I slowly force my eyes to focus on the real world and the memory of my dream sadly slips away. Queen Hendrix