DUKEFEST! (What is your fantasy festival band line up, where would it be and why?)

Member Name: The Duke

Product:	What is your fantasy festival band line up, where would it be and why?
Date:	12/08/01 (109 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: All bands that I like!

Disadvantages: Perhaps not your taste, Some you've never heard of

I really would like to begin this with “Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside” but seeing as the show hasn’t even started yet, and I would hate to have to own up to knowing some “Emerson, Lake and Palmer” lyrics, I’ll quickly move on…

I do have a lot of bands on this list – some I’ve already seen at a concert, and some I haven’t, but I would like to have done. The guest list and running order of my fantasy festival are dependant on three things:

a) I’ve already seen the band, and they were great live. (Great bands who are crap live do not get a mention)
b) Bands I suspect are good live, but I’ve yet had the chance to see for ANY reason are given a slot.
c) I’ve ordered them in a way I think is natural and leads on from one band to the next. They’re not ordered in terms of say “fame” or album sales or whatever.

So, I would like you all to attend “DUKEFEST” at Wembley Stadium (obviously, this being a fantasy festival, this is a few years ago before it really started to fall down, although I did give serious consideration to the moon, and Ayre's Rock). It’s free in to those who wish to attend, and don’t worry, there’s plenty of space for all, and it will be crowded enough to provide loads of atmosphere. Doors will open early and will close, and don’t worry, I’ve had a word with ALL your bosses, and they’ve given you a free day off tomorrow to recover from all todays fun.

Food and drink of your choice is provided at the back of the stadium, and of course, it’s all free, so tuck in. Everyone is taken care of, so even if your tastes are, well, non-conformist we can take care of you!

Right, I need a good couple of openers to get the crowd going. First up, I think we’ll hav
e Oasis. Not any old Oasis though, but the one from 1993 when they’d just released their first album. Raw energy, I think the term was, and it’s 100% correct. That’s good enough to get the crowd going. If you don’t like Oasis, you can sit smugly, knowing what a bunch of tossers they turn into later…

Just to add a bit of friction and entertainment early in the day, next up it’s Blur, from around the ’94 Parklife period for a bit of up tempo dancing around tune action. Plenty of good tunes that you’ll just have to get up and dance to!

In order to keep the pop – dancey thing going, next up it’s one of my own personal favourites, Betty Boo. Now, I’ve heard some people “dissing” my beloved Betty, but I’m telling you now, I’m having no more. Anyone who says anything bad about her can report to security at the front gate where they can miss the rest of the quality entertainment I’ve lined up for the rest of the day. So ner.

Continuing the pop theme for a moment, guess who’s next? Give up? Well, it’s none other than Georgie and Andrew Wham! Woohoo! I bet you never expected that, eh? Get those fluorescent towelling socks out now! Obviously, it’s one of the later versions of Wham! so that they can play their entire back catalogue of dodgy lyric-ed pop. That should do it with the pop, I think.

While we’re waiting for the next section of DUKEFEST to get underway, there’ll be a huge Bouncy Castle for us all to have a go on, perhaps more than one if the demand is high. I like bouncy castles - they’re great. No one’s allowed to be ill though, because that’s not nice, and everyone has to be super nice today. So, if you’ve been at the sauce, or the grub, stay well away from the bouncy castles.

After all that bouncing on the castles (don’t worry, they’ll probably be back later) I
’m sure we could all do with some chilling out and a sit down for a bit to give the legs a chance to have a rest. Perhaps now would be a good time to tell you that the back stage area id open to all, on the understanding that if you go back there you have to behave yourselves! Feel free to grab a few autographs as the stars sip drinks before and after performing.

First relaxing chill out artist is Jean Michel Jarre. I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I like him. I think we’ll take M. Jarre from around 1990 just before he got really bad. This means we still get all the good stuff like “Rendezvous”, “Oxygene”, “Equinoxe” etc. but leave out the cack like “Chronologie”. There'll be lots of purdy lasers and fireworks to look at too. Not bad actually for this point in the day.

Back to 1974, for Pink Floyd and the line up they had for “Wish You Were Here”. Both “Wish You Were Here” and the previous album “Dark Side of the Moon” are great albums to relax to. I can’t really remember any stuff from before this stage in their career, but you’ll be glad to know that it’s not up-tempo dancing around stuff, so you can rest easy for a little while. Oh, I’ve also decided that they have to play “Careful with that axe, Eugene” because it has a great title, for all I know the song’s crap.

Right, by this stage, I hope you’re all rested, because here we go again. The next band on stage, I doubt anyone will have heard of. They are a local covers / pub / theme band based on the Blues Brothers called “Otis and the Elevators”. I’ve been seeing them for years and they’re excellent. They play lots of Blues Brothers type music, and as thanks for being a good night out for about 10 years, I’ve given them a slot in DUKEFEST.

While I’m championing relatively un
known bands, I once saw a band that were supporting James Brown when he played Dublin a few years back. To this day, I still can’t remember heir name properly, but I think they might have been called “No More Words” and I think they were Scottish. But, they were fecking brilliant. The music was quite good, but their live show was fab, especially the front man who had the audience in the palm of his hand. They get another go to prove I’m not imagining the whole episode.

Stereophonics are up next for a bit of rock action. While their more recent stuff hasn’t been as good as their first album, which I rank as one of the debut albums of all time, they provide a good tune, and can kick start the more serious side of DUKEFEST.

Supergrass are, for me, the logical choice to follow the Stereophonics. I know they’re not exactly the same, but they’re sort of similar, if you catch my drift. I’ve never seen them live and I suspect they’re a really good show, and I do like their music a lot.

Some more foreigners this time in the shape of Smashmouth (they’re Americans, if you must know). I’m sure most of you have heard “Walkin’ On The Sun” and they’ve since produced another few albums with some top quality tunes on them, which hopefully you’ll all enjoy. If you’re not already back on your feet dancing merrily (with or without alcohol) then I think you will be by the end of this set.

“TEQUILA! IT MAKES YOU HAPPY!”
Well, if you know me, it was inevitable. I like Terrorvision, and despite their ups and downs, plus their change in musical direction (from rock to pop orientated) they’ve always produced really great tunes. I’m sure most of you know Tequila, but with any luck, you’ll also be educated in “My House”, “Oblivion” and “Middleman”.

Need a rest? Well, hopefully, th
is next band should do the trick. They do play loud, up-tempo music, but in my mind, it’s more music to appreciate rather than boogie to. Trust me, you’ll get plenty of boogie action later. It’s the Fun Lovin’ Criminals who are splendid live. Is Huey the coolest man in rock? Not in my opinion, he’s on later, but Huey will have to do for now. In the meantime, the ground staff will probably have to give out wellies as all the girls drool over Huey.

Who here has heard of the Black Crowes? Well, those of you who have can explain to your fellow DUKEFEST attendees how good this band is. They’re a rock/r ’n’ b band (proper r ’n’ b, not this cack modern stuff). If you imagine early Rolling Stones in the Nineties mixed with Primal Screams “Rocks” song, then you’ve probably got it close enough.

Next up, from the ashes of Nirvana, and a far better band to boot, it’s Foo Fighters. I suspect the Foo Fighters might be an acquired taste, but seeing as I like them, you all have to watch them. Not that you’ll hate me for it, because they do produce some good tunes, and if you get a chance to watch some of their videos, then do so because they’re usually very funny.

I was going to bring out the bouncy castles at this stage, but everyone is going to need their energy for the final acts that I’ll introduce in a second. For those who don’t want a rest, I think I’ll have some karting races for a bit of fun, everyone else can sit down for a bite of food and some drinks while the stage is being set for the final part of DUKEFEST.

To kick off the final part of the evening, I’m going to bring on Rage Against The Machine. Now, again, I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and those who don’t like loud, shouty, sweary music can go for a wander and some more food and drink if they wish. Everyone else can stay and mosh with
me.

I think I’ll follow Rage Against The Machine with the 1985 version of Van Halen. Cue lots of big hair and spandex. Woohoo! If time allows, we could also have the early Sammy Hagar version of Van Halen so they can play the songs from 5150 as well.

As you can see, I’m starting to wheel out the big guns now. The Corrs are up next. Now, don’t give me that look, I can take or leave The Corrs, but I’m a bloke, and I haven’t had anything nice to look at since Betty Boo earlier, so this will provide some eye candy for me. Excuse me a second… *drool*

Ok, that’s better, now where was I? Oh yes, I suppose in the interests of fairness, I should give the girlies some eye candy. What about the Fab Four? Might as well give them a bit of a spin. Lemme see, from about the ’67 phase I think. Yes, that should do the trick. Get ready to scream, girls!

I mentioned the next act earlier when referring to another of DUKEFEST’s guests, and it’s the Godfather of Soul, James Brown! Oh yeah! Obviously, it’s a younger James Brown, so that we can get a good look at his energetic routines over the course of the whole show and not just five minutes here and there in an hour-long show.

Another one back from the grave – give a big DUKEFEST welcome to INXS. I’ve seen INXS before and they’re very good live (no pun intended). Michael Hutchence was a great front man, and the rest of the band are very talented, especially the one called “Gary Garry Beers” who has one name twice and is named after an alcoholic drink. I think he plays the drums.

Aerosmith are next with possibly the coolest man in rock, Joe Perry. Steve Tyler has his moments, of course, but Joe is just that much cooler. Although, if Steve invites his daughter along, I might reconsider.

To show the young ones how it’s done (and seeing as Aerosmith formed because they wanted
to be the Rolling Stones) it has to be the Rolling Stones. We’ll take them from the early 70’s – 1971, I think seeing as their album releases haven’t been the best since then. So, I assume everyone is having a good time? I hope so; we’re into the final stretch now with only two bands left to play.

The penultimate band is U2. Their albums and singles are excellent, it has to be said, but to really appreciate the band, you have to see them live. Bono is a great front man, especially in the guise that the band has been using since Achtung Baby where they give the impression of being less serious. I’ve seen U2 a number of times now, and they’ve never failed to perform or put on a great show, and they’re well deserving of their place as the penultimate act in DUKEFEST. Saying that though, there can only be one “winner” in my mind, and I’d like to ask Georgie Wham to return to the stage to introduce the final act of DUKEFEST.

Georgie Wham: “It’s Queen”

Oh, thanks loads, Georgie. I’ll do it myself next time, now beat it, and don’t think you’re getting paid either. I always thought Andrew was the talented one.

Anyway, I’ve always reckoned that Queen were possibly the best live band out there. All the other bands in this line up do have their merits (or have been recommended as such) in a live situation, but no one will ever come close to Freddie Mercury. The headlining act for DUKEFEST can only be Queen, circa 1986 when they did the “Kind of Magic” tour. Fortunately, there are samples of this tour out there in the shops in the form of “Queen Live”, a single album compilation of the whole tour, and “Queen Wembley 1986” a dedicated album to one concert on July 12th 1986 when Freddie was still going strong. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but I don’t think I’m wrong in r
ecommending you watch the video of “Queen Wembley 1986” if you can find a copy somewhere.

Can it get any better than this? No doubt you lot all have something to say about my choices. Well, once you get home from DUKEFEST (free taxis home for everyone!) you can set about writing your own Fantasy Festival!

Summary: