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What is your fantasy festival band line up, where would it be and why? |
| Date: |
22/01/03 (52 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: THAT WOULD BE DA SHIT!!!, Perfect, The heaviest, most talented, catchiest bands on Earth
Disadvantages: erm... it's not real
It would have to be in a converted field somewhere (probably at Balado or Kinross where they have T in the Park) in Scotland. Why? Because I live in Scotland, goddammit, and we have NO metal festivals, only braindead pop 'events'. Ozzfest was the shit and well worth travelling but this time other people can get a 500 mile coach trip - not me. I would also like a limited crowd size (as long as I'M in it - hell, it's MY friggin festival after all) as I prefer smaller, more intimate gigs than soulless arena shows (only a few bands can pull these off).
Things would kick off with Raging Speedhorn tearing shit up and providing a nice warm up for the crowd. This would quickly be followed by Seth (an unsigned band from Glasgow who really deserve a deal - check out www.seth1.co.uk if you like true metal) who i'm sure would play to the high standard that they always do in pubs and clubs around Glasgow, land a multi million pound record deal and become huge.
As a prelude to the big bands coming on, Skindred would turn up unexpectedely, kick arse with their heavied up ragga-punk-metal show, make the moshpit go crazy and leave about 10,000 people chuffed but confused as to who they'd just seen (Skindred are criminally underlooked). That would be the 3 best bands in Britain as opening acts. Now for the heavyweights...
Biohazard would come on and lay the Brooklyn beatdown on the pit. Yes, the lyrics are retarded, but the riffs are top class, the beat and groove is awesome and their experience means they would be a surefire success.
System of a Down would come next (as a surprise to keep the teenyboppers away from this gig - I don't need no mini moshers fucking things up for everyone else here) and the crowd would go apeshit. Christ, the fans already think that they've had their moneys worth!
Soulfly are next and Max Cavalera shows that he can still fock sheet up and make the crowd go fucking cr
azy. Everyone in the crowd is mesmerised by the man with the strongest throat in history and riffs that would make a paraplegic get up and mosh. Chants of 'Soulfly' and 'Hail Max' ring out.
Jesus christ, look who it is - it's Lynn Strait!!! And he's ALIVE!!! I guess rumours of his death were greatly exaggerated (for some reason) and Snot are on stage tearing shit up and plastering a grin on EVERY single person for 3 miles. Bloody hell, how did that happen???
Who should come on next but Pan-fuckin-tera (hell, yeah). What more can I say? Pantera's awesome brand of redneck groove/thrash/fucking H-E-A-V-Y would have metalheads of all shapes and sizes grinning, moshing, whooping and a hollering. And drinking beer. Lots of beer.
Billed as headliners, Slayer are quite possibly the finest live band in the world. Having seen them, I was blown away. I wasn't even expecting that good a set from them but they were THE SHIT!!! Razor sharp, super tight, consistantly brutal - Slayer have honed their live skills to perfection. Awesome stage presence, even with the limited dialogue Tom Araya has with the crowd, the crowd are always transfixed. Slayer make the crowd headbang until their heads fall off, their experience would make them the perfect headliners for this festival.
Or would it......... Completely by surprise, Max comes on with the original Sepultura, they have reformed for one gig only!!! My biggest regret is that I never seen Sepultura with Max. This would be the hardcore metal equivalent to seeing Jimi at woodstock. Sepultura were, for me, THE finest band on the planet from 1993-1996. Igor Cavalera amazes the crowd with unbelievable drumming (he IS the best drummer on Earth), Andreas Kisser riffs out the heaviest tunes known to man, Paulo Jr goes fucking apeshit and Max astounds the crowd even more than he did with Soulfly. Then I wake up with a wet crotch, wondering where the hell I
am and what the fuck just happened....
THE ORIGINAL SEPULTURA
SLAYER
PANTERA
SNOT(!)
SOULFLY
SYSTEM OF A DOWN
BIOHAZARD
Skindred
Seth
Raging Speedhorn
What a show..........
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nednod - 22/01/03 are you sure you don't want to swear a bit more. them bands were pretty terrible, why don't you just put justin timberlake on so he can prance around like a big prat |
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