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What is your fantasy festival band line up, where would it be and why? |
| Date: |
03/03/03 (59 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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I hope your not expecting this to be realistic! I’m balancing on the brink of insanity at the best of times. But hey, that just makes life more fun! I also have an extreme mix of taste, this way theres something for everyone and at the same time all for moi! So..not too selfish!
~ Setting ~
Britain is dull, dreary and wet most of the time, so there absolutely no question of having my perfect festival here. I think Ibiza is perfect, well it would be without all those crazed clubbers, simple. They aren’t there! The only people with access to the whole of Ibiza at this time are the people attending the festival. (Hey, I told you I was selfish!)
We are on a long flat beach, sand, no pebbles! At one end of this beach there are monster waves, and at the other it is calm and peaceful, I have no idea how this is possible! It probably isn’t but this is never really going to happen, so who cares?
~ Small Attractions ~
Huge fairground rides are littered across the boardwalk, waltzers, ferris wheels, rollercoasters, do not even begin to suspect that I would have silly little carousels or spinning teacups. I don’t think so!!!!!
Obviously we have the emblazoned T-shirts, Caps, etc on sale but this is not very important so we’ll set these aside.
There are ice-cream stalls EVERYWHERE. Sure theres all the usual fast-food venders but that’s not my favourite food now is it? Ice cream Ice cream Ice cream, everywhere! (Now I think about it I ate a whole litre of the stuff just days ago…I really should slow down with it! My uncles nickname for me is the dairy-queen….not that I actually like milk!)
There are a few cinema tents set up a short walk away from our centre attraction showing only the best films such as:
‘The Ring’ I’ve heard theres an older version, so make no mistake it is the modern one which I viewed last week, absouletely excellent, even if not all
too realistic.
‘Scary Movie’ there was a point at which this was my favourite film, however I did find Scary Movie 2 a complete let down, very good, but no match for its prequel and after that my thoughts lowered….Not enough for me to forget how much I enjoy it!
‘Shrek’ Hilarious, can’t get better animation than this, however I must warn you anybody found impersonating these characters will be escorted off the premises, I cannot stand it when people do that!
‘Van Wilder Party Liaison’ Another hilarious one!! Can’t beat Ryan’s acting! Love him in 2 Guys and a Girl, love him in this too, great when along side Tara Reid. I find it has a unique plot, not a quality easily found among teen films anymore.
‘Sweetest Thing’ Now where on earth does this fit in?? That question I cannot answer, I do know that I adore this film! I thought it was brilliant although sometimes when Cameron Diaz opens her mouth I do wonder if we will all fall in!
So that’s that done, anything I’ve missed? I expect theres a million and one things, if you can think of any I haven’t mentioned just throw them in there yourself.
~ The GOOD Stuff ~
No were not talking milk! I honestly cannot describe stage settings etc I am useless at it! So knowing full well that I will fail to do my stage justice you shall have to use your own imaginations, its big, its loud and that’s all I can really tell you!
Nah that’s reeeally bad of me, its absolutely ENORMOUS!!! And can be heard for miles and miles. There we go, still bad, but not insulting!
So as I mentioned earlier I have an extreme mix of taste, (atleast I like to think I do…) lets get this show on the road, or the beach atleast. There will be so many groups and artists appearing that as much as I love them all I’m afraid they have a time limit…
Starting off with
a short introduction from Frank Skinner, (now how’d he get there?) He happened by and took it upon himself to make an appearance that’s how. This bloke is great I think, side splittingly funny, so now that everyones chuckling we can lead GREENDAY on to the stage!
A great start for all the punk-lovers out there, I was introduced to their music by a former boyfriend and it must be the one good thing he did for me!
GREENDAY
Basket Case ~ Minority ~ Waiting ~ Redundancy ~ Poprocks and Coke ~
Nice Guys Finish Last ~ Good Riddance
Not going to be the last punk band to make an appearance, but I have to keep everyone interested through out so all music genres will be spaced out to stop people becoming altogether disinterested, so all the fans will have to take a backseat for now whilst we have:
SHAKIRA, no wait, wait, I’ve seen her performing live on television, and that was torture enough! Terrible! Do you really think I would put you all through that? So we’ll have a 10 minute break whilst we argue the toss with our dark rooted columbain. Now for a different female artist…
PINK!
I will have to put a limit on just how wild she goes on her dress sense though! I watcher her on the Brits and can someone please tell me, was she wearing yellow or green trousers? Well anyway, it was disastrous and it will scare my audience, so she can’t be wearing those.
Most Girls ~ Get The Party Started ~ Numb ~ Eventually ~ You Make Me Sick ~ 18 Wheeler
AVRIL LAVIGNE
This time she won’t go skidding across the stage, although this will be a comical addition it will be all too familiar, I find that her most rewarding songs are the less heard of:
Why ~ I Don’t Give A Damn ~ Losing Grip
Now I read in ‘The Sun’ this morning that Avril is a rather depressing young lady. So before we all get too downcast there will be a dramat
ic pause, as a presence from beyond the grave (I TOLD you this wouldn’t be realistic) appears on stage alongside Dave Grohl and whats-his-face. Yes of course its Kurt Cobain and..
NIRVANA
Lithium ~ Smells Like Teen Spirit ~ About A Girl ~ Rape Me ~
Penny Royal Tea ~ All Apologies
Ending with his final track ‘You Know You’re Right’ before sloping back to where he came from.
Now I’m the plum in the jam, what on earth can we do to back up THAT performance? I don’t know if this comes as insult or compliment but the best I can do for this situation is
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
Aeroplane ~ The Zephyr Song ~ Scar Tissue ~ By The Way ~ Butterfly ~ Californication
Calming things down a bit with ‘Dose’ before having another well deserved much longer break. During this time my security guards discover Michael Jackson having a heated argument with Christina Aguilera and insisting that ‘he did not have plastic surgery’! !
Back to the set and we now have
Kelly Osbourne introducing the next appearance, but not before singing her unreleased fab song ‘Too Much Of You’. Sorry guys you shall have to over look the crude language!!
SUGABABES
Round Round ~ Breathin Easy~ Blue ~ Virgin Sexy ~ Shape ~ Switch
2pac now appears, not from the grave, as you would think. On stage he really admits that he was never killed, it was all a publicity stunt as a back door out of fame. Thus proving the far-fetched theory I’ve read and believed!! (Hey don’t laugh!)
2PAC
Letter To My Unborn ~ Changes ~ Til The End Of Time ~ I Aint Mad At Cha
Troublesome 96 ~ How Long Will They Mourn Me
THE POLICE
What on earth? Not very likely in this scene, but I only want them on for one song so im sure we can stand it. Of course it is ‘Roxanne’ not a song I particularly like, it
portrays me as a prostitute!! But still, it is the sole inspiration of my name so… has to be played.
Jennifer Lopez is also here. You would never have guessed it for the lack of servants, forget it honey, you aint bringing plus60 people here to do your work. There are no specific dressing rooms to be deocrated white, and you’re not having £260 bubbly. You are here to sing and sing you will….
J. LO
If I Had Your Love ~ Im Real ~ Im Gonna Be Alright ~ Play ~ Feelin So Good
Waiting For Tonight ~ The Block
Another problem has arisen, in the cinema tent they have foolishly played an advert for the film ‘Crossroads’ this has resulted in Justin Timberlake jumping up and displaying affection for….the screen? Even when stopping the projection Justin still cannot be parted from this blank television?
For the finale MYA has appeared backstage and requested she be allowed to sing her new comeback song (not that there actually is one) alongside JA RULE. The crowd loves it and she is flung straight back into the music business, from which she is much missed! Then joined by BLACKSTREET to sing the hit ‘Take Me There’ from which the backing for Rugrats was taken.
~ Times ~
Times? Did I really mention that? Well throughout this half term I can’t remember the hour let alone the day, so whilst having this much fun do you honestly think I’d be keeping track? Nope! Not at all, so I shan’t bother to dream up times for all of this…it just happens as it happens! We could go through the day and into the night stopping short of dawn, it could last longer, shorter. Who knows? We’ll just give or take 10 minutes! But seriously, for me to watch all of those films, eat as much icecream as I can stomach and see those performances I would give it less than 2 days.
I hope you found something in there you liked?? That was only the tiniest selectio
n of bands and artists I could bring together, my contacts list only goes so far ;o) But seriously, if you would let me I could go on for hours, days, weeks! No, maybe not, but still! Is it such a big deal to ask for….?
Hope you’ve all done one of these! I find them very interesting! Hope you had the same impression of mine.
Thanx
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