I moved to a complex of live work units last year and Telewest had the monopoly on the entire place. Poor me. Poor everyone who lives here. I signed up for a phone, TV and broadband package. The first thing i discovered was, compared to my old Sky service, how painfully S...L...O...W all of the TV services were. Worse still, sometimes channels disappear, can't tune or just generally don't work very well. The remote control works when it feels like it. I paid a fortune to have a Sky dish fitted on the roof of my old apartment block but compared to the horror of Telewest it was worth EVERY PENNY.

BILLING NONSENSE ONE - A TASTE OF WHAT TO COME

Then came the delights of billing. Seeing as how I have my internet service with them, and how even Hackney Council (a Council with learning difficulties if ever there was one) accept payment for their council tax through on line banking services these days, I paid my first couple of bills online. I was then accused of failing to pay. On querying this I was told 'oh, better not to do it that way, it doesn't work very well with us. It might come through but it could take up to 6 months, we'll credit you with it if it does.' Very reassuring for a company providing me with broadband!

UNBELIEVABLE

After months of having my broadband internet service and telephone line disappear for hours at time, and having my favourite TV channels disappear just as I want to watch them, they've trumped themselves...
I paid a £135 bill by credit card back in May. The card wouldn't work apparently, so I used another. I subsequently found out both transactions went through, charging me twice. On calling Telewest I was told I would need to send them evidence of all of this and then wait 6 weeks for the amount to be credited. I told them not to bother and then called Visa who cancelled one of the transactions.

"THE NUMBER HAS CHANGED"

Fast forward to Sept
ember and I discover I can't order a pay per view movie. I call Telewest on the number my TV tells me to. The numebr doesn't exist anymore. How fantastic for a telecom provider! Finally, after 20 minutes of hold time someone in customer services answers, giggling away (oh what a hoot those call centres are!), I discover I have a restriction on my services as I owe them (guess the amount!) £135. Turns out they processed the refund anyway on the second amount to. Long after it had been forgotten it got slapped on my card on 23rd August. Obviously I don't know this as I have no statement to show this has happened. And hello, but isn't May 19th to August 23rd a random sodding time to refund something?

WHAT YOU WANT SERVICE TOO???

I explain the situation to several people on several extensions and the crux is this: No, I can't use my pay per view option despite it being part of the service I pay for and even if I pay the outstanding amount immediately on the phone I can't get the service turned back on straight away. It 'might' be available after 10pm. But Mel Gibson's in Signs at 20:06. So much for that then. No amount of pointing out that this is NOT MY FAULT gets a result. Given their shocking track record with finances (they still claim they never received 2 payments at any time!) I have no intention of paying them back their money until I see evidence on my statement that this unrequested refund, which has caused a suspension in my full services, has been made.

TO SUM UP

If you have any choice in the matter whatsoever, go with ANYONE else but Telewest. I read in the FT that they've been in serious financial trouble - no wonder with their SHOCKING SHOCKING SHOCKING service.