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James Bond: The Authorised Biography - John Pearson (Audio CD)
by Jake Speed
James Bond: The Authorised Biography is a 1973 book written by John Pearson. This is an unabridged audio version narrated by David Rintoul. I've never actually owned or read the book so this was certainly of interest to me although I'd heard a lot about it already. The premise of James Bond: The Authorised Biography is that James Bond is ... a real person and that M asked an author named Ian Fleming to write novels about him to try and make the Russians believe he was a fictional creation of MI6. SMERSH were out to kill Bond after the events of Casino Royale and this ruse was expressly designed to throw them off the scent and make them feel stupid. The book is a biography of Bond from his birth until the events of Colonel Sun (the 1967 Bond novel written by Kingsley Amis). It's just generally a fun 'nonfiction work of fiction', oddity and experiment, an enjoyable addition to the Bond universe. The book weaves in and out of the events described by Fleming and then adds much more detail about Bond's life - the author clearly enjoying himself with this revisionist take on the iconic character. The structure of the book is that Pearson meets the real James Bond when he is on sick leave in Bermuda and Bond duly tells him about his life. 'So this was Bond, this figure in the shadows. Until this moment I had taken it for granted that I knew him, as one does with any familiar character in what one thought was fiction. I had been picturing him as some sort of superman. The reality was different. There was something guarded and withdrawn about him. I felt that I was seeing an intriguing, unfamiliar face half-hidden by an image I could not forget.'
This is an enjoyable listen for anyone interested in James Bond and read in an unobtrusive and pleasant way by the narrator. One of the things I liked about Pearson's work here is how he offers a much more human James Bond and plugs some of the gaps in what we know about him. Not everything works perfectly with this approach but it's always fun. Pearson tells us the 'truth' about Bond's adventures and which of the books were completely made up and had no relevance to anything that happened. He also tells us about assignments and escapades by Bond that we don't already know about and some of these are as enjoyable as anything Fleming wrote about. Pearson is rather impressive coming up with villains and writing about 'lost' adventures that Bond had and anyone who manages to get mutant killer desert rats into the world of Bond deserves some sort of award. We also learn that life for a secret agent can have its more fallow periods inbetween missions. Pearson tells us that Bond has done other jobs too and hasn't always been a spy his whole career. He was a troubleshooter for a group of French bankers for four years and survived on his wits in a far flung locale once by romancing lonely rich women. He once even used his famed gambling skills to get by.
These various digressions are always interesting and we even learn how Bond got his famous scar. Other things thrown up here are that the 00 section was formed by M in 1950 and that there was a 007 before Bond got the number. Bond has a son also named James by Kissy Suzuki and his first lover was a brothel keeper and spy! The framing device of Pearson meeting Bond in a shadowy room in Bermuda is though excellent too and very gripping. 'It was a strong face, certainly - the eyes pale-grey and very cold, the mouth wide and hard; he didn't smile. In some was I was reminded of Fleming's own description of the man. The famous scar ran down the left cheek like a fault in the terrain between the jaw-line and the corner of the eye. The dark hair, grey streaked now, still fell in the authentic comma over the forehead. But there was something the descriptions of James Bond had not prepared me for - the air of tension which surrounded him. He had the look of someone who had suffered and who was wary of the pain's return. Even Sir William seemed to be treating him with care as he introduced us. We shook hands.'
This is a fun postmodern twist on Fleming's Bond and probably worthy of the relatively high reputation it has. I'm not too sure about the depiction of M here but many of Pearson's biographical inventions make a surprising amount of sense! He's actually made an effort here to make Bond much more of a real person than Fleming - even in the midst of his spying capers. This audio cd is incredibly long (goes on for hours!) but probably worth getting hold of if you've never owned a copy of the book and like to have something to listen to on the train. I believe the original book was longer than all but one of Fleming's novels (Goldfinger I think) so it's quite good value. 'But James, you never told me,' says a surprise guest. 'You mean your real biography? Isn't that just what I always said that they should do? I mean those books of Ian's were ridiculous. I never will be able to forgive him for the way he described me in that dreadful book of his.' The narration is quite intimate which helps I think. You feel like you are privy to a detective unravelling a great secret. It's atmospheric too but never too showy.
It goes without saying though that this is really one that Fleming readers will get the most out and a basic knowledge of the original James Bond books and chronology is essential in order to pick up even a fraction of all the references and little in-jokes.
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Past Forgetting - Peter Cushing (Audio CD)
by Jake Speed
Past Forgetting is an Audio CD featuring the legendary actor Peter Cushing reading from his second autobiography. In 1986 Cushing published a very personal autobiography that included much material about his late wife Helen. Helen died in 1971 and Cushing never really recovered, often saying in interviews that he was merely biding his ... time now until they were united again. Cushing's book was light on film anecdotes, his explanation being that film sets were often incredibly dull places where you spend most of the time waiting around for something to happen or quietly preparing yourself for a scene. However, when Cushing heard that many fans had been hoping for more Hammer stories and chapters about his film career he decided to write another book for them a few years later, this time talking much more about everything from Frankenstein to Dracula to playing Grand Moff Tarkin in Star Wars. Cushing's second book forms the basis of this enjoyable Audio CD which has been released a number of times, my copy from 2010 and including sleeve notes by Mark Gattis and the inclusion of a shortish documentary where a number of famous Hammer faces - like Caroline Munro, Ingrid Pitt and Christopher Lee - remember the great man.
The first part of the memoir includes Cushing talking about how devastated he was by the death of his wife. He says he actually ran up and down the stairs in the faint hope of inducing a heart attack and considered suicide. In the end though Cushing, a man of great faith, decided this would be wrong and says that he knows he will see her again one day. He admits he considered taking an indefinite break from acting but his friends told him it would be good for him to keep busy and it was what he did best. Cushing explains how Helen played a crucial role in his career, encouraging him to keep going through some difficult periods. It's interesting here when he talks about the introduction of television and how difficult he found it. His wife told him he must learn to play to the camera and he soon became much more comfortable. Cushing's very distinctive and cultured voice is wonderful to have coming through your earphones and some of his memories of his brief stint in Hollywood are really good. I was reminded here too that Cushing was in the 1939 Laurel & Hardy film A Chump at Oxford. He says that their producer Hal Roach was looking for a British actor for one of the parts and he just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Cushing was not a Hollywood person though and became a proud resident of a Kent seaside town called Whitstable from 1959 until his death. I spent a few years living in Whitstable when I was growing up and remember visiting the tiny museum there when they had a Cushing display featuring his paintings, intricate model theatres he'd made, and even his 'Jim'll Fix It' badge. Jim'll Fix It was a children's show where kids would write to Jimmy Saville and he would arrange for their request/wish to come true. It was often something like meeting their favourite pop star or whatever. Cushing reminds us though that in an unusual and touching episode he appeared on the show himself, asking for Jimmy Saville to create a new strain of rose in memory of his wife, which of course was all arranged for a very grateful and moved Cushing. The rose was named 'Helen Cushing' in tribute. Cushing's modest and gentle nature always shines through as he reads to us.
I remember Whitstable as an eccentric and often charmingly old-fashioned place and Cushing was the most famous resident for many years. I'm told he was a familiar sight pottering about the high street with a shopping trolley saying hello to people and having his lunch in the same tea room each day. Sadly, for some reason, Whitstable became (ugh!) trendy quite recently and a slew of celebrities have moved in, including, God help us, Janet Street Porter and that little cockney bloke from Masterchef. Cushing mentions appearing a lot on Morecambe and Wise here too and how he had a running cameo where he was trying to get paid from an appearance on their first show. I recall the display at Whitstable museum had a kind and funny letter on display that Cushing received from Eric Morecambe, thanking him for being on the show again before adding - 'P.S the cheque is in the post!' Those looking for film anecdotes and memories will find much to enjoy too though and it's fascinating to listen to Cushing remember his years with Hammer and beyond.
Cushing says when he played Baron Frankenstein he would constantly ask his GP about the correct way to remove a head or something so that he could do the scene as accurately as possible! His memories of Star Wars are great fun too. He played Grand Toff Markin, one of the evil Empire baddies plotting the destruction of Luke Skywalker and the rebel alliance. Cushing says he was somewhat bewildered by his character's name and the script but decided to do the film because he thought it would be something that children in particular would love. His character had to wear tight military style boots but Cushing found they were incredibly painful and uncomfortable and persuaded George Lucas to let him do the rest of his scenes in a pair of slippers! There are many good stories about working with Christopher Lee also and it's nice I think to know that Cushing and Lee were great friends in real life. Cushing is quite amusing here too on occasion when he goes through the various ways in which some of his characters have met their end in Hammer films.
Generally, it is just always pleasant and relaxing to listen to Cushing's voice and be in his company, whatever he's talking about. The whole thing runs to 144 minutes and at the time of writing you can buy this for under a tenner. I've seen it for less than a fiver not so long ago so you should be able to get a good deal sooner or later if you do feel like getting hold of it. The extra audio commentary at the end with people like Christopher Lee and David (Darth Vader) Prowse remembering Cushing is a nice little bonus too. This is a nice find for any fans and they should enjoy listening to this quite a lot.
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Collected Untold Stories - Alan Bennett (Audio CD)
by Jake Speed
Collected Untold Stories is a bumper audio book of Alan Bennett reading the four parts of his acclaimed 2005 non-fiction volume. Untold Stories was much more candid and personal than Bennett's previous work as he was ill when he wrote it and wasn't expecting to live much longer. He felt it was the appropriate time to get some 'untold ... stories' off his chest about himself and his family and write openly about things like his sexuality and family secrets. The first part is a family memoir which includes poignant pieces about his parents marriage and his mother's battle with mental illness, and then you get readings from his always amusing diaries, a piece about his childhood and schooldays, and four other bits and pieces including musings on the class system and Bennett's account of him and his boyfriend Rupert being attacked in Venice in a homophobic assault on his birthday. I don't have many audio books but I've found this one to be a great companion at the train station and actually found Bennett speaking to me through my earphones more engrossing than reading the actual book.
The first part of the collection has Bennett reading from the sections of the book about his memories of his family and some of the colourful relatives who flitted in and out of their lives. Bennett's Auntie Kath for example was for some reason living with an irritating Australian man named Bill in Yorkshire, something which always seemed to bemuse Bennett and family. 'Quite what he was doing in England is not plain as he seldom misses an opportunity of running it down along with blacks, Jews, and, when Mam and Auntie Kathleen are out of the room, women generally.' This section is also about Bennett's mother suffering from mental illness and there are some compelling but somewhat harrowing recollections by the writer of his visits to Lancaster Moor Hospital (and of discovering that this condition is not new to the Bennett family). You almost feel as if you have gone back in time and are visiting the hospital with the young Bennett as he describes these visits. It's very atmospheric at times and what music there is in the collection is very restrained and gentle and used to signal the end of a particular chapter.
Life growing up in Leeds is very vivid too with many recollections of amusing things his parents said and some of the more eccentric qualities of the Bennett family. 'It's a talk on the third world in church, Dad wrote to me. Well, your Mam and me don't even know where the third world is. Next week it's Buddhism. We're going to give it a miss.' A section called Written on the Body is a fascinating recollection by Bennett of his schooldays, realising he is gay, and roaming the streets at night as a lonely adolescent. 'My lonely patrols take me over the gaslit streets of Headingley, Woodhouse and Meanwood, the world to me at fifteen suddenly a place of inexpressible wonder. I marvel at the wind streaming through the beech trees on the edge of Becket Park, the colours of the rain washed flags and the lights of Leeds laid out below.' Bennett knows he will have to keep his sexuality to himself in these very different times and generally feels rather set apart from everyone. 'Unfortunately, until well into my twenties I regard sex as a club and one to which I have no hope of belonging.'
The readings from Bennett's sporadic diaries are fun (and do lighten up what is sometimes quite a sad and dark collection) with the author railing against everything from Classic FM to George Bush, telling us about blackberrying near his house in Yorkshire, bumping into celebrity friends near his house in London, visiting churches (this seems to Bennett's favourite hobby and activity these days) and generally musing on whatever has been in the news. 'Bush is extraordinary. Seldom can there have been a leader of a modern democratic nation who showed such unfeigned eagerness and enthusiasm for war.' This is an enjoyable part of Untold Stories and supplies more humour than some other chapters, especially when he has a go at Tony Blair and other things in the modern world he can't stand, like Classic FM for example. 'I loathe Classic FM more and more for its cosiness, its safety and its wholehearted endorsement of the post-Thatcher world, with medical insurance and Saga holidays rammed down your throat at every turn.'
A Common Assault is Bennett's account of visiting Venice on his birthday with his boyfriend Rupert and having an iron bar thrown at him after they, for some reason, drew the attention of a group of rather homophobic and aggressive Italians. Bennett lost a lot of blood in the assault but what seems to anger him more than anything is the attitude of the Italian police who aren't very sympathetic and give the impression they think Bennett was up to no good and perhaps shuffling around the city following young men or something. This is, Bennett declares, something he could never do even if he'd ever wanted to. 'It was partly that, never feeling I would be much of a catch, I saw no point in trawling the streets looking for someone who might feel differently.' There is some humour in this piece too as Bennett tells us that something bad always happens on his birthday, telling us about previous years when he nearly died on this day!
Untold Stories is an excellent audio collection that I really enjoyed listening too and became quite engrossed in with Bennett's quiet Yorkshire accent almost becoming slightly hypnotic at times. Obviously this is one for Bennett fans only but if you are then you'll find this a warm, nostalgic and bittersweet listen with many poignant and amusing moments along the way. The mixture of observation, understatement, sadness and humour is always quietly compelling and this collection will certainly keep you going for quite a while and pass the time whenever you need something to listen to. Highly recommended.
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