Not to be confused with KY Jelly!! (Vaseline Pure Petroleum Jelly)

Member Name:

Product:	Vaseline Pure Petroleum Jelly
Date:	05/05/02 (99 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Works

Disadvantages: Not sensual

Vaseline Pure Petroleum Jelly. Ah. A stalwart of anyone's bathroom cabinet (except I don't have one, it's actually a Tesco's shopping basket, but you get the idea).

I sometimes get dry lips because of my damned medication. It annoys me greatly as kissing is my third favourite past time.

I was in the pound shop the other day. You know the discount shops favoured by old people who smell like cabbage and dodgy student types such as myself.

Vaseline. 99p. 7.5 oz of lubrication.

Surely it can't be any worse than the debacle of a lip shine I spent £3.25 ( 2 shots of vodka)on ?

Vaseline is is a semi solid mixture of hydrocarbons which are obtained from petroleum or mineral oil, by fractionation and/or distillation.

I used to use vaseline when I was younger , in my teens when I actually wanted to look as groomed as a poodle.

One of my ex boyfriend's ( who was a gay model, don't ask) showed me that vaseline was handy for more than lips. For example you can use it to keep your eyebrows tidy after you have plucked them to drag queen proportions, as I did as a teenager.

Overuse is not recommended as it gives you spots in your eye brows. Live and learn by my mistakes. Incidently perms are not a good idea if you have naturally wavy thick hair either.

Once again I digress, thanks for being so patient.

Vaseline is hypoallergenic. It shouldn't bring you out in a horrible allergic reaction like NSync for example or even worse Anthea Turner.

It smells of nothing imparticular, eventhough because it looks so greasy you may expect a whiff of chip shops or summat.

It can also be used to treat evaporative dry eye and blepharitis if my research is to be believed. Please see http://dry.org/petrolatum.html for details...

Although I would strongly recommend visiting a health care professional such as Dr John Carter off ER or failing t
hat your old fart of a GP.

Vaseline can also be used in forensic investigations
at a crime scene, for example collecting tyre samples.
Don't smile thinking that I have watched to much CSI.... would this face lie to you?


More every day uses of this gloopy godsend include:

Preventing nappy rash, softening cuticles, removing eye makeup, soothes and moisturises dry cracked lips, minor wounds and burns and even protects tools and sporting equipment from rust.

And now my lips feel a lot better too..... anyone fancy a snog ? ;)

If you want to have the Vaseline experience without having the big tub wedged in your... handbag... you can buy the cute little retro tin clad Lip Therapy from Tesco's, Superdrug , Boots et al for 99p

Summary: