Nappy National... because life is too complicated (Abbey National)

Member Name: 1st2thebar

Product:	Abbey National
Date:	07/04/07 (288 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Always pleased to see you, even if they really are not

Disadvantages: There are so many branches

To Nappy National....ermm Abbey National. I have been a loyal servant of yours for over 13 years. If you were superstore I would of been able to retire on the reward scheme bonuses through loyalty alone. I understand your a business and require ample amounts of cash to keep your employers happy, especially at Christmas when 5 parties are planned out to meticulous detail, from the 13th-18th December. I, as your faithful servant have always thought moral in the workplace is essential. I only spoke to one of your employees about how important it is to get to know each other during these bank festive orgies. Your hard working employee was resting trying to sleep outside a betting shop, all suited and booted, softly spoken, eyes red through hard work. He was on a point of total burnout. I was equally concerned when I saw him in my local branch the next day. Oh well, so long as he gets a nap at some point in the day, I'm sure he will be fine. I wanted to get some dark glasses for your employee, but thought naaa... it will scare your clients.

I must confess I'd no reason for doubting your performance as a bank. My account appeared normal, payments to your services came out at regular intervals. A photocopy of a bank statement I requested was billed to me at a standard rate of £4.00. I understand that stationary and ink is vital for a bank and is expensive. The service charge added for one of your employees to twist round and provide me with this personal service is what I expect from a bank. The roller chairs help as your employee does not require to stand-up either. It all saves time, and money for you. I laugh to myself....aaah bless.

Yes, as a bank you do as what your customer expects. People say to me that banks are evil. Why I ask? They are only doing what is expected of them. For 3 months last year; I went in to my local branch 4 times a week, I was greeted each time with a smile, bless them again, I thought and each time I asked them the same question. "What happened to all my security details, I still have not received them, it's been 1 week, 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 48 days now? There were about 2 couples on average in the branch, so I knew that they were run off their feet. I felt bad about asking your employees to work that extra bit harder.

During this time I was asked to stand in the middle of the branch and telephone for customer services. They asked me for my security details. At that point people were trying to get to the ATM's and had to make a ring around me. Your banking service is so community based, people smiled at me and were interested in what I had to say. I believe instead of just two phones there should be 8 phones in the middle of the branch. It will get people together more....little like a party...you like parties don't you.

My frequent visits did not go un-noticed... Oh no, I was pleased to receive a phone call from the Area Manager. He told me that my visits were causing unrest among his employees and that certain staff had complained about me and therefore, could not do their work efficiently. I was surprised, but knew that he probably had a tough day, especially dealing with all those employee nappies in the local branch on a daily basis. I explained that I was only trying to help them and at the same time solve the problem of my lost security documents for ebanking. In the end I think he could see that I was doing what any helpful person would do he could see that I was only trying to help. Ah but all this costs money, that is something you know about....isn't it?

It did not stop there. The mess kept re-appearing. I tried my best to clear it up the bibs weren't enough. I would stop at nappy changing... I will leave that to the Financial Ombudsman. You know it will be for your own good. It is about time you stand up on your own two feet now and stop sliding your little hands into my wallet and grabbing loose change.

What is naughty is your use of the imaginary friend "penalty charges". You will be found out eventually. My work colleagues often say to me, how do you carry on like this, without moaning? I can tell you now that when their timid soft voice call's you by your 'first' name, for the very first time, it brings warmth to the heart.

I'm looking forward to my loyalty bonuses, I'm due some for all the work I do for you, without complaints. It's no good peeing onto your roller chairs now, you have really tested my patience.

Summary: Abbey National the nappy guide to banking