| Product: |
Flanagans Showbar (Canary Islands) |
| Date: |
17/02/08 (95 review reads) |
| Rating: |
 |
Advantages: hilarious daily shows, great entertainment
Disadvantages: drinks expensive, place gets packed
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* INTRODUCTION *
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On our second visit to Lanzarote we stumbled across Flanagan's Showbar. From outside we could hear a few great songs and it all sounded live. We decided to pop in for a visit, we found a seat near the back as the bar was packed full, and we felt like sardines in a tin...cooking!
The place was hot, stuffy and dark, still we loved it. At the front on the stage was a drag act...Bianca the Bitch or to his mates 'Butch'. We stopped off for the show and were amazed throughout. We have returned on our 5 other visits to Lanzarote and attend Flanagan's 2-4 nights over the holiday.
I would warn however that the entertainment is of an adult nature and whilst parents take their children to the bar some leave shocked with upset children, despite the many warnings prior to the show.
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* THE VENUE *
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The venue can get very busy so it is best to arrive early or go down in the afternoon to reserve seats. As regulars we have timed it perfectly and arrive at about 8.30pm to get good seats. The show bar is down a set of stone steps and on a few occasions we have spotted a cockroach or two.
Along one wall is the bar with some great members of staff who are very helpful and kind. If celebrating an event they will give free cocktails, my A Levels were well celebrated in 2003. Drinks are served at the tables so you don't have to worry about moving through the crowds.
Toilets are at the back and on the bin is a sign stating that 'things with wings and strings belong in bins' this basically reflects the whole nature of the bar, its funny and humorous everywhere you look.
In the far corner of the pub is the small stage often referred to by Bianca as his 'Shoddy Erection', often getting a giggle or two from the adults. The stage is rather small but professionally lit and well stocked with Bianca's HUGE 2 litre wine glass. As Lanzarote is hot the bar is well air conditioned (at the front of the bar, but not the back) and is cool enough to spend a night, especially as it can get so hot.
On arrival to the bar Bianca will shout 'incoming' then make some insult about the person entering such as "do you want a skirt with that belt" or will say the bar staff "he is on the low fat beer". It is offensive but everyone takes it with a pinch of salt. I was called posh because I was wearing a nice outfit after our posh meal.
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* THE SHOW *
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The evening starts off with a 'shot quiz' where a piece of music is played and the first person to shout the artist and song name gets a free shot. Shortly after people are looking and feeling jolly after their free shots the acts appear one by one. All played by 'Bianca the Bitch'. Between each act Rita Ski the little lady with the BIG, powerful voice steps up to the 'mic' to sing a selection of power ballads.
Throughout the show Rita and Bianca take time out to find the British male tourist who is wearing sandles and white socks. The song "White Socks" parody of "A windmill in Amsterdam" is entertaining and funny. They did not perform this song on our last visit so maybe they had a few too many complaints. Rita and Bianca would walk around the venue with a white sock detector (a white sock stuck on the end of a stick!) singing
"I see white socks,
Where?
Right over there,
Where over there?
Right there, A w**ker with white socks on,
Everyone stare
Can you see any more anywhere?"
The enjoyment had from watching the poor men trying to take off their white socks before they get caught out, the song does not end there but if you want to know more it was originally performed by Ivor Biggun so do a quick search - it is very funny!
The show always ends with a visit from the Baroness of Barnsley, a drunken old woman ditched at the altar. She runs up and down the bar swinging her bottle of 'vodka' getting everyone wet.
Then after the show the audience can entertain with 'Crapioke' and a raffle is drawn. I managed to win a huge bottle of Vodka and get lost finding the stage, resulting in a few taunts from 'Bianca the Bitch'.
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* THE ACTS *
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The acts are amazing ranging from David Bowie to Freddie Mercury. Below is a guide to what you can expect to see at the showbar.
Freddie Mercury
Bianca dresses as Freddie Mercury by using false teeth, and wearing a skirt. He sweeps the stage with a broom then pulls a feather duster from his 'boobs' and starts to dust the audience. Watch out for the back of the skirt, a nice surprise awaits!
Baroness of Barnsley
Comes out from behind the curtain, singing 'It Should have been me', she manages to fall over flashing a lot of flesh (body suit), splashing her bottle of 'vodka' everywhere and will wallop the nearest man with her handbag (gentle of course! And in very good humour).
David Bowie
AMAZING is the only word to describe this act. David Bowie is floating mid air with strobe lights and UV lights to give the impression that 'Major Tom' is flying and walking in the air. When the song breaks out with the legendary line "Ground Control to Major Tom" the room fills with cheers. Such a great act to see live.
Titanic
Dressed as Kate Winslet in a boat costume, Bianca sings the song "The Fart goes On". A hilarious act with a few great suprises. Will have you wetting the floor with laughter.
Seamus the Leprechaun
Bianca is dressed in a toadstool costume to give the appearance of a leprechaun on a toadstool. This is superb entertainment with a few funny words to a popular Irish song. The Irish usually sing along and love this act. Although I find it hard to understand the lyrics the costume still makes it hilarious.
Dana International
I am sure you all remember the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest Dana International who turned out to be a man and not a woman as thought. This song is Bianca's signature tune for obvious reasons. 'The girls a geeza', very funny. The sentence 'lobbed off her dipstick, feet like Bigfoot, the girls a geeza'.
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* THE ENTERTAINERS *
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Rita Ski is from Manchester and has a stunning voice, she has been compared to Lulu but I must admit I think she is much better. She worked for years with Miss Foofoo Lammar at Foofoo's palace. She has been on tour with Roy 'Chubby' Brown, Cannon and Ball and The Drifters.
Bianca the Bitch apparently started out his career as a Donkey in the nativity play and according to him "has had a thing for asses since"...boom boom!
As a youngster 'Butch' always wanted to entertain. He met up with Rita Ski over 12 years ago and the partnership has flourished into a crazy relationship. Working in and around clubs, pubs and theatres around Barnsley he picked up the 'tools of the trade' and has ended up in this small bar in Lanzarote
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* OPENING TIMES AND PRICES *
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The doors open at 8pm every night with the show beginning at around 9pm-9.30pm. Flanagan's Showbar is open every night. Admission to the Showbar is free although drinks are a little over priced. Orders for drinks are taken at the table and served at the table. Drinks range from between 3 Euros for a beer, 5 Euros for an alcopop and 8 Euros for a cocktail, which is fairly expensive. CD's of the acts and songs are available at 12 Euros each or 5 CD's for 30 Euros. I have all 5 and enjoy listening to the funny songs, they are a great memory of my holiday.
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* HOW TO FIND FLANAGAN'S *
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Flanagans is situated in the old part of Puerto Del Carmen just off the road 'Calle Juan Carlos' next to the Supermercado store. It is in the Biosfera part of the town, about halfway down the road from the major shopping centre, towards the harbour.
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* SUMMARY *
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Obviously flanagans will not appeal to everyone but I would definitely recommend it to thiose of you up for a laugh and an entertaining night out. Probably best to leave the kids at home unless you want questions such as "mummy what's an erection" or daddy "what does w**ker mean?"
I am sure however that you will enjoy it as much as I did, it is a great night out and something to tell the mates back home.
Summary: A great night out in Lanzarote
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