Product Type: Brahma Beer
Newest Review: ... often the on-offer 4-packs remain better value. The most noticeable thing about Brahma at first is its unique styling. The bottle is asy... more
BRAHMA - Ye Gods, it's nae brammer
Member Name: proxam
Date: 15/05/11, updated on 04/11/13 (274 review reads)
Advantages: I didn't pay for it
Disadvantages: It was still overpriced
Now why in the name of all that's beertastic would I be drinking an adjunct-laden lager from Brazil?
Simples. I'm too tight to pay for Sky Sports.
What? You don't get it?
Sheesh...let me spell it out for you.
Among other things, I don't subscribe to Sky sports and although my son has ESPN, he doesn't have Sky Sports either. But his mate does.
Clear enough? No?
We're all Hearts fans. Ah, now you're getting it...aren't you?
That's right. On one of the pigs flying past blue moon occasions when neither the huns (rangers), or the bead-rattlers (celtic) were dominating TV viewing, I watched the recent Hibs-Hearts derby with my son and his pals.
There, we got there in the end...eventually.
But what's that got to do with Brahma Lager?
Well, like a lot of young men, these guys wouldn't know a quality beer if it crept up behind them and skelped them over the head with a dark glass* bottle. Their idea of a fruity little red wine is Buckie. (sigh)
* Unlike Brahma, most quality brewers shun clear glass bottles. Sunlight can cause a reaction to the beer making it smell and taste skunky.
"But it's Brazillian!" They cry.
Now those samba boys might be able to dance their magical way around a football pitch, but last time I looked, Brazil was not the capital of brewing.
"It's also cheap!" They shout in unison. "And it gets you off your tits." So does sniffing glue I thought to myself but I wouldn't recommend it.
Indeed it is cheap, relatively speaking - a dozen 330ml bottles costing £8 in Asda. Even cheaper for me, as I didn't buy it. I wouldn't buy it. Don't mean I wouldn't drink it though.
According to Wikipedia, Brahma was originally made by the Companhia Cervejaria Brahma which was founded in 1888. Now owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev. They say "It is famous for its innovative advertising which has won many awards at festivals such as Cannes." Hmm, not famous for brewing beer then.
I had a look at the Brahma website, then closed the page - nothing of interest there.
Meanwhile, at the football...
My mate Ian was watching the derby game between Hearts and Hibs. Tynecastle was packed and there was only one empty seat - next to him.
'Who does that seat belong to?' asked the person next to him.
'My wife usually sits there.' Ian replied
'But why isn't she here?' the guy persisted
'She died.' Said Ian in a matter of fact way.
'So why didn't you give the ticket to one of your mates?'
'They've all gone to the funeral.'
Back to the beer...
Snob. That's what they called me when I asked for a glass. Fussy old bar steward. What - just because I asked for a clean one?
Nervously holding what counts for a clean glass amongst these heathens, I proceeded to eventually pour the beer. I then wondered why I bothered. I could already see (through the clear glass bottle) that this beer was a watery, dare I say urine shade of yellow. Clear as a mountain stream, there was only the lightest of frothy film on top which didn't get a chance to lace the glass as it didn't last as long as it's taken me to write about it. I'm left with a pale yellow, flat looking beer. Not too appetizing.
Giving the beer a swirl around the glass to force some sort of life into it, I'm immediately assailed by...not very much. It's a little grainy and a touch grassy but there's not much going on.
Again, the dominant feature is a graininess with some herbal tones. For a beer that struggled to imply a decent head, it's ridiculously gassy. Brewing a beer this carbonated but which doesn't have a head is truly an art form...not good art though. There are hints of sweet honey and a definite citrus tang but it's all so subtle it's hardly there. It finishes sweet before turning a little dry.
At 4.3% ABV, this isn't the worst beer I've ever had, and that's me done with compliments. It's subtle to the point of blandness. Suitably chilled, it's refreshing enough but there are better beers out there to refresh you. I ended up drinking a few but I didn't bother with the glass again. To tell the truth, it was actually a little better from the bottle.
Would I drink it again? - Oh yes, next time I'm in Rio watching Scotland hump Brazil.
Summary: Beer from Brazil?