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How IT became a MAN
A Man Named Dave - Dave Pelzer
A Man Named Dave - Dave Pelzer
Date: 06/02/02, updated on 06/02/02 (656 review reads)
Advantages: Great ending, Addictive
So here we have it, the final book in the trilogy about a Man Named Dave, called IT by his ‘mother’ who abused him in the most appalling way I have ever read about. Tissues are a necessity to read the final chapter of Dave’s life…..
From the early stages of childhood, Dave was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother, a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games with her son's life; games his father chose to ignore and which the outside world knew nothing about
A Man Named Dave is an inspiring story of terror, recovery and hope and in a dramatic reunion he confronts his father and ultimately the mother who so brutally abused him.
A man Named Dave is truly a triumphant story of a young man struggling to accept his life for what it is and his struggle to move forward leaving his past behind to start a new life. There is always something there getting at him and it isn’t until the end of the book that he faces all of this.
Dave enlisted in the U.S. Air Force at age 18. As a young adult Dave was determined to better himself--no matter what the odds. He tried hard, worked hard and studied as hard as he could, not only to prove he could do this to himself, but to prove he could enter the Air Force to his foster parents.
As a member of the armed forces, Dave was hand-picked to midair refuel the highly secretive SR-71 Blackbird and the F-117 Stealth Fighter, which played a major role in Operations Just Cause, Desert Shield, and Desert Storm.
When Pelzer is finally alerted to the fact that his father is near death, he rushes to be with him. Pelzer's dying father is barely able to communicate, but in spending his final days by his father's side, Pelzer is able to begin to confront his childhood and to form a positive, productive link to his traumatic past.
One of his father's final actions is to pass his cherished fire department
badge on to his son. This is a very emotional time for Dave and I was in tears reading this part of the book. Dave never got to know the man who biologically was his father and never did get to call him dad…
Dave must now with the death of his father, also confront his mother, who, though she would have little to do with her husband during his decline and death, makes her son feel ostracized and uncomfortable at the funeral. During these scenes all I could see was her smirking at Dave who was clearly upset at this point in time, yet again she is able to get at Dave.
The man he grew to love as his father – Harold – also causes pain and emotional grief for Dave in this book, but I don’t want to say too much about it so that the story is ruined for those of you who haven’t read it YET!!
The most important part of this book is trying to understand Dave’s difficulty with intimacy and attachment after all the suffering he has been through you automatically assume that all he wants is to be loved and to be able to love back.
Pelzer hides much of his past from his first wife, Patsy, as though he is ashamed of what she might think of him, Dave has never been ashamed of this when he has been moved around foster homes, and is unable to tell her he loves her.
His self-doubt contributes to the tumult of their relationship, essentially a mismatch cemented by the discovery that Patsy is pregnant.
Ultimately, the birth of his son, Stephen, is the final key to Pelzer's reconciliation with his past.
Stephen is a constant reminder to Pelzer of the preciousness of life and the importance of breaking the chain of abuse so that Stephen will grow up knowing abundant love. Dave is deliriously happy with the birth of Stephen, a son whom he will cherish and give the love he never had as a child.
This book ends with a touching conversation between Dave and his own son, you'l
l finish reading this with a warm heart and an enriched understanding of the need for compassion in all parts of life. If Dave can find it in himself to forgive and forget in order to carry with life as normal as possible then anything can be achieved.
This book is currently avaliable again on amazon for £5.49, although it was out of stock yesterday, but even if it is you can always find it in those nice high street stores such as WHSmiths and at one time it was in Woolies.....
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