Jockey Wilson Sez (Darts)

Member Name: Ian Proudfoot

Product:	Darts
Date:	08/03/01 (3442 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Gain skills you never knew you could muster

Disadvantages: Pah! there is none

A wise man once said to me “Son darts is the real game of the Kings, forget your horseracing, your yachting and your synchronised swimming. There is only one true sport and that is darts”. Of course I ignored the old fool and went happily on with my life until one fateful day when I was sucked head forth into the world of occies, bullseyes and double tops. From that day on wards darts has become my religion, my one righteous cause and my guiding light in the wilderness of barren drinking dens and smoky backrooms. You see the old man was right darts is the real game of Kings, but not the Kings of Europe and the lineage of monarchs. No my friends darts is the game of the Kings of the public houses and the half-spilt pint of bitter.

I see the two professional leagues of dart as only the tip of an iceberg. You see darts is not about the personalities of a few be they Eric Bristow or Jockey Wilson (A couple of the finest athletes this great nation has produced) it about the public house and the amateurs who play in those establishments. I could go on about the great Public leagues that exist in these fair isles, but no my friends I want to tell you about some of the variations of darts that exist out there. I will only concentrate on the three, but there are many varieties out there, that’s the great thing about darts it’s a game that is open to the imagination of the players. Who needs the imagination zapping powers of video games when you can let your imagination run wild with a corkboard and a handful of sharp metal flighted spikes?

First of we have the classic game of 501, where the winner is the first person to reduce their score from 501 to 0. Of course there is rules about this. For example the darts player cannot simply stand as near as possible to the board and simply place his mini javelins in the highest scoring areas of the board. No he must stand behind a pre-determined line (the occie) of distance from the board, wh
ich he must not cross with his feet. He also only has 3 darts a round to lower his score, before his challenger has an opportunity to lower his score. He must also finish the game by scoring exactly 0, 1 is too small –1 is too much. He must also finish by hitting a double (the outer section of the segmented dart board, before the black rim) to finish e.g.: If dart player A requires 16 to finish he needs a double 8 to win. Of course this is simplifying the game, but if you want to learn more go down your local library, they will be sure to have a book on darts amongst the trashy romance and cliché thrillers. 501 is also a great way to improve your basic maths, but be warned it will not help you with complex algebraic equations or help you formulate mathematic solutions to the world’s problems. But then again you never know I’ve had many a deep philosophical thought during a darts game, such as why am I here and is there any true escapes from this existence other than death.


Next up we have my favourite Darts game Around the clock. This is a game that involves hitting the numbers of the dartboard in sequential order starting at 1 via 20 and then finishing with a hit to the inner or outer bullseye. Again the player is limited to 3 darts per round, but the great thing is that an infinite number of players can play. Well not infinite because such a concept only exists in maths and philosophy. Any I digress Around the clock is probably the simplest of dart games, requiring no mathematics skills (apart from being able to count from 1 to 20 in the correct order). It is also a great game in which to improve your basic dart chucking skills as it involves hitting those less popular but still important numbers on the dartboard. Around the clock can also be a marathon or a sprint of a game depending on the skill levels of the dart players. It really is a great game for dart players of all ages and experience from the novice with his moulded p
lastic flights to the grandmaster with his fine duck feather flights. All dart players can benefit from the skills learn from playing Around the clock.

Finally out of my rundown of Darts variations we have the new boy on the scene, Speed Darts. No, this is not about consuming vast quantities of amphetamine or trying to break the land speed record with the strength of your throw. No Speed darts is about getting as many points within a set time limit. Its basic principles are the same as Classic Darts (501) except the countdown score starts at 901 and each player has to get down to zero in the quickest time possible. Each player has a turn to do this and the speed it takes is recorded. The person with the quickest time is the winner. Simple really, your professionals can do this about a minute. You will however take 10 X this amount of time, remember these people are highly trained sports people, you are a lowly beer-swilling mortal. Speed darts is a game of accuracy as well as speed, and is probably a game left to the more experienced player.

So where do I started to learn darts I hear you cry, well you can either go down your local sports shop and buy a board and darts. However I would not recommend this as the shock of entering a store full of shiny shellsuits and Man Utd shirts (particularly true in the Southeast) maybe cause you spleen to rupture. No I recommend going down your local public house on a rainy weekday afternoon. Not will you find excellent faculties but also a steady supply of beer, an essential ingredient to good darts session.

So I implore you to go out there and discover the wonderful world of darts. You will soon realise what a wonderful decision you have made. You will gain friends and confidence and become a more rounded and confident person. I have found darts and my life has been on steady road to fame and fortune. See you at the top fellow Dooyooers.

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