I Can Play Dirty! (Hamleys Ludo)

Member Name: Sexy Kay

Product:	Hamleys Ludo
Date:	25/04/01 (516 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Better than having teeth extracted

Disadvantages: Boring & old fashioned

I adjusted my shades to hide the look of fear within my eyes. I held my breath hoping they may not have noticed what was obvious to me. A bead of perspiration trickled slowly and seductively down my neck confusing my senses. The light flickered and shone on the blue counter, and it seemed to wink back at me. I knew we had known each other in a previous life, once we were both tiddly, but this was a completely different game.

One, two, three, four, five. Damn! I watched as the blue counter covered my beautiful yellow one and they lay joined together. Blue winked at me again as he sent my hopes crashing by sending my counter back to the start.

I was annoyed and deflated, my pleasant perspiration turned to sweat. I knew I had to do something to remove the sting from the game. I excused myself and trotted off to the bathroom to recover my thoughts, they had to be somewhere.

So they wanted to play dirty, well I could play dirty! I adjusted my Wonderbra, undid the top three buttons of my top and hitched up my skirt. I headed back to the game and they watched me as I walked towards them, I could tell what they were thinking.

I bent over the table, I was determined to show them a thing or two. I reached over, my nails glistening and silver, and grasped the plastic cup. I worked it up and down, the dice trying to escape, my finger preventing it until I was good and ready. I released my digit and the dice shot onto the board, my heart was pumping. It was a six! I'd done it!! I threw back my head and laughed at their amazement. I moved my final counter to the start, I was up and runing again, nothing could stop me now.

You could have captured the atmosphere with a spoon. I sat down on my seat, crossed my legs and observed my lacy stocking tops. I felt well satisfied as I emptied the remainder of the bottle into my glass. They sneered as I took a swig, the familiar liquid rasping on my throat, cooling and pl
easing. This was a particularly good year for Sunny Delight and I felt sure that Sunny was delighted.

I glanced down at my legs and silky stockings once more and I couldn't believe there was a ladder. This sort of thing doesn't happen to me. The mouse started to climb the ladder and the choir began to sing:

"A little mouse with clogs on, well I declare, going clip clippety clop on the ..."

I wobbled nervously on my chair and as I did so fell backwards, six legs akimbo, two of them must have been mine.

Thump! I awoke with a jerk (I must stop calling him that) and resolved that I would cut down on supermarket cheap red plonk.

What a strange dream!

I eased myself out of bed and stood under the shower. As the warm water flooded over my body I recovered my thoughts and returned to the real world.

"Ludo", I thought. A dream about Ludo and all because the game was mentioned on the Dooyoo home page. Was it the wine or my addiction* I pondered!

Whatever it was I've ended up writing an opinion on Ludo. The spirit of Dooyoo moves in mysterious ways! So to continue:

I'll hit you with a 'notta lotta people know that' old fashioned type fact: Did you know that Ludo was evolved from the Indian game 'parcheesi'? I didn't believe it either at first.

For strictly research purposes only I played Ludo with two borrowed seven year olds. You know, it's a brain numbing, boring game! OK for kids but definitely not for us grown ups. Each game took us an average thirty-seven minutes, but there were lots of deep and meaningful discussion points as we went along.

Two to four people can play, well it's not much fun playing by yourself is it? I think you really need three to make it worthwhile.

The idea is to get all your (wo)men/counters 'home' first. You take turns to shake the die (singula
r of dice) and move your counters round a board of squares, depending on the number thrown - throw a five and move five squares (hope this isn't too technical). You keep moving round the board until you reach the home section in the centre. To make it even more amusing, you have to get a 'six' to start and if another player lands on the square, that you are already occupying, then back you go to the start, what a giggle! There are four counters for each player to get home.

To clarify a few other bits. You can have all your counters moving round the board, providing you get a six to start off each one (of course). If you throw a six you can have another throw of the die and clap your hands. When we played you had to get the exact number to get home i.e. three squares left then you need to throw a three (of course). The counters are red, blue, yellow and green. I prefer red as they are faster - no not really (this isn't F1, everyone has an equal chance). It all depends on the numbers you throw (of course). I found that shaking the plastic cup a lucky seven times didn't help or make a scrap of difference to shaking it once, twice or any other number you can think of.

One fascinating incident, however, left me wondering if there is more to Ludo than I first imagined: I shook the plastic cup four times and threw a four, spooky or what?

To play Ludo, if you are now so inclined, you will need some equipment. This can be bought in WH Smith and other good games retailers. You should ask for a box with 'Ludo' on the front. Inside there will be a specially designed board, sixteen counters in four colours, a die, plastic shaker cup and a rules leaflet. Then you are on your own.

Kindly note: No responsibility can be accepted for any outcome caused by playing or attempting to play Ludo. If playing in mixed company always take proper precautions, just in case.

Enough of all this exciteme
nt, it's results time! Derrr diddle er der, der derrrrr ...

For children Ludo is a 6/10 but ...
For adults Ludo is only 2/10

To be honest I can't imagine that adults would want to play this game other than with their children. Unless, that is, there is Strip Ludo or something I don't know about. Own up! Are there any Ludo Clubs or Associations out there? Are there any championship matches we should look forward to: Swingers v Anoraks and so on?

The children I tried out the game with appeared to quite enjoy it, but they may just have been polite to humour me and I did have crisps, sweets and ice cream. There were a few arguments but the mother of one of the delights told me that this was quite normal. I didn't win any of the games we played so that shows how really silly it is! Not that I'm a bad loser.

I wouldn't want to play Ludo (or dream about it) again. I feel it is old fashioned, out dated, well past its sell by date etc. etc.

Give me a bit of Taboo any day.

;-> Kay

*addiction to Dooyoo, no illegal substances were used in writing this opinion.

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