In a Ford Fiesta I Smelt the Dragon's Breath (Listerine Original)

Member Name: Zmugzy

Product:	Listerine Original
Date:	06/12/07 (159 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: kills mouth germs and bacteria

Disadvantages: Do we really need it?

Listerine Original has been around a while. It used to be advertised on TV by a humorous cartoon character called Clifford the Dragon. Only after gurgling a mouthful of Listerine in order to extinguish his halitosis was Clifford able to seduce the Princess. The ads were dumped when it was decided to market the mouthwash as an all round product promoted as an accompaniment to toothpaste and a cure for tooth decay and gum disease.

Listerine Original is medicinal in appearance or looks like something you could use to clean hospital floors. The vile unpleasant taste is the compromise the consumer makes in order to receive the acclaimed benefits. Somehow, despite the more palatable flavoured varieties of Listerine that have become available over the years, the original Listerine still persists on chemist's shelves.

I have only ever used this product in the past on rare occasions and after a quick swill one cannot deny the refreshingly clean feel in one's mouth afterwards. No doubt germs are terminated and, although I myself have never suffered from bad breath, for those who do suffer from chronic halitosis, a bottle of Listerine in the bathroom cabinet is surely a must. I know some people do need it.

I recall a malodorous encounter with a lady friend sometime ago. We had planned a day trip together to the Scottish coast and she was to pick me up in her Ford Fiesta. Upon entering the car I still remember well the waft of stale air like the steamy stench off a dead dogs bollocks that greeted me from the warm interior. My oblivious lady friend innocently smiled and welcomed me. My smile was more of a grimace as I sat down and squirmed in the passenger seat. After initial greetings I was about to politely comment how her car ponged a bit and was in need of a good clean or perhaps she had a dog I thought. It was only a split second later that I awkwardly realized it wasn't her car upholstery that needed a good scrubbing. It was her overwhelming fetid breath that reeked - a truly clinging smell that circulated the vehicle and grabbed me by the throat. She was chewing mint gum (a futile attempt to mask the pong) and offered me a stick to which I declined, thinking that she would need all the help she could get. I doubt whether half a dozen bottles of Listerine would have quelled the putrid odour.

For the subsequent two hour journey we had romantically planned together it wasn't long before my eyes started watering and I had to insist on having my window open under the pretence that I was feeling a little queasy due to the make-belief chicken vindaloo from the night before. Eventually we arrived at the coast and upon exiting the vehicle never before in my life had the sea breeze smelled so fresh.

But leaving aside such unfortunate souls as my ex-lady friend, is it really necessary for the rest of us to use this stuff on a regular basis? The mouth after all, does possess its own natural cleaning fluids originating from the saliva glands and with the amount of chlorine in our drinking water nowadays, a quick swill of that should be enough to kill off most germs and bacteria. Furthermore, some say the anti-bacterial properties of mouth wash only encourage more resistant strains and make people more dependent on such products. There is also the possibility that Listerine and the like wash away the body's natural defences by for example, exterminating the white blood corpuscles that gather at the back of the throat during infections. It shouldn't be forgotten that bad teeth, unhealthy gums and even bad breath are primarily the result of a shoddy diet.

Taking all things into consideration I would only recommend Listerine for severe cases and in extreme circumstances.

Summary: Wash your mouth out before long car journeys